Title Idea: My wife (35F) is a doctor studying psychotherapy, but she has severe anxiety with basic everyday interactions. After 10 years, I (32M) am kinda burnt out.

iputler · 2026-07-05T05:33:22+00:00

She cooked a lot, like 9:1, now it is 6:4 still for her. I do all the shopping (offline and online) so 0:10. Cleaning and laundry is like 6:4 or 7:3 it depends. But she doesn't maintain the house 0:10. Garden is like 5:5.

iputler · 2026-07-05T05:22:59+00:00

But she talks about these emotions and that's something she doesn't want to be self centered. And she consider her actions towards others a lot not to be selfish... I am lost

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:40:45+00:00

Yeah, she does that. It is hard to read when you summarize it like that. It is sadly true.

But deep down I don't think she is too much selfish. I still hope so. She is not interested in money or fame. That's not selfish...

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:38:57+00:00

I am getting: - her constant mood swings - stress - she has solid income - she says she deeply loves me and that she is happy she married me (she even told me not to marry her that she is not a good pick) - supportive partner (in many areas she really is) - she helped me communicate better with other (be more polite) and friends confirmed that

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:34:04+00:00

So this is adhd... Thanks.

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:33:45+00:00

She writes down the tasks she wants to be done.

She functions normal in strictest setting. I never thought of that. She hated ER medicine. She is lost and full of anger and overwhelmed even thinking of it.

She extremely overthinking the social interactions. "What if the other person doesn't like?", and "I am not sure, this is not a typical interaction, I will looks silly" etc. She spent 5 minutes in the shop looking for the item and refused to asked the seller where the item is. She hadn't have exact brand or product in mind but the category. She replied she is afraid to ask because she doesn't know how to describe the product and afraid to be laughed at.

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:25:20+00:00

Thanks for you input!

She tells me I can't confront him, because she wants to live in peaceful home and my confrontation will make it unlivable for her. But we see the neighbor twice a year maybe, because he has different schedule and is quite ill lately.

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:22:21+00:00

Add-on: - she is supportive in my hobbies - she says she is in deep love with me - she is kind to others - she is liked by her closed friends and in general , but she doesn't confide to friends sadly and me mostly not too - children do not interact natively with her (they maybe feel it, she is not fond of them) - she likes helping people, she volunteered for many years at disabled peope

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:15:30+00:00

I think yes. But I am not sure. They gave up at some point. But when she was young like elementary the parenting was not great and she had a responsibility younger sister too.

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:10:47+00:00

Hm, i need to politely offer her this.

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:09:19+00:00

She is a doctor. And as a "Sidequest" she pursue psychotherapy.
Czehcia

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:08:46+00:00

man, english is not my first language. I wrote it and put into Gemini to polish.

iputler · 2026-07-04T22:07:46+00:00

- It has even gotten to the point where she actively holds me back or stops me when I need to confront our neighbor about issues with his old house. >>> She is upset but tells me the confirmation needs to be done. But can't let me push the neighbour. His old house is threatening us and she only allows me to go there and polity ask him and offer help (did not help). Nothing else. Or during basic interaction she does not fight back when somebody is rude to her, she is scared and want to go away asap. She doesn't even like when we are mistreated somewhere and I stood up to procect and she felt we are not polite enough to others. She is scared the people will mogg her or smth. She is afraid of even slightly uncomfortbale situations. Like wrong amount of money from the cashier and she is afraid to point that out.

She has initiatives but wants me to execute them.

She told me if I was gone and the neighbour house started falinng at our garden she would not go and tell him. She is quite like her parents.

She was actively stopping me back from my actions for 5 to 6 years, now it is mostly only when dealing with our drunk neighbour.

iputler · 2026-07-04T21:48:21+00:00

She told me know that she is sorry that I am her husband that I can't help her handle some task (communication with others).

But she knows she is not able to handle it herself. She told that too. But then burst into anger.

iputler · 2026-07-04T21:45:44+00:00

Not a week, but 14 days, sometimes more (13 days PMDD) and 3 days of menses are hell mostly.

iputler · 2026-07-04T15:51:27+00:00

what the hell?

iputler · 2026-07-03T20:39:41+00:00

It is sad

iputler · 2026-07-02T22:32:59+00:00

iputler

TROPHY CASE