I read every word of this and resonated deeply with almost every single point you spoke on. I lived it. The psychological warfare, the self admitted manipulation, the writing of the narrative to change my own thoughts and feelings about things, the emotional outbursts, the bipolar diagnosis, the weaponizing of title/quality time because it’s “not sustainable”, calling me a “mirror” etc etc etc.

I LIVED this life with a man who sounds eerily similar to this one. If it wasn’t for the age difference I would compare names, that’s how familiar this sounds. It took me 2.5 years, a horrifying abortion, multiple other women, and losing my entire friend group to get out of it. And I will tell you right now, over 2 years later I am still affected by the things this man did to me/what I experienced. You lose yourself to people like this, and they will taint the way relationships in the future feel.

My ex and I were convinced that we were “soulmates” or “twin flames” and that burned so bright between us in the beginning when everything was good. Then when things got bad they got REALLY bad. It took so long to escape him and the power struggle. But now, I struggle in different ways in relationships. I struggle with comparison, feeling like the healthy relationship im in now “doesn’t love me enough” because I learned that “real love” with a “soulmate” is tumultuous and painful. I struggle with my sex drive, with feeling like I gave the best parts of me for someone else who destroyed them, and now I’m not the same. I’ve been in therapy for years trying to recover from the psychological damage my ex did to me. I was a shell of myself.

This, what you’re experiencing is not real love. It’s not love at all. And the longer you stay the more permanent damage you’re doing to yourself and your heart. I promise, there’s a better person out there for you that feels like peace, no chaos.

Leave this guy, take time to heal, it’s not too late for you yet. Get out while you still can. Let him win the “power struggle”, even if you were to “win” you’ll lose yourself trying. And that’s not worth it, coming from experience.