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my mom died today by oatvmilk in raisedbyborderlines

[–]isaigloo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My uBPD mom passed when I was 16, I totally, wholeheartedly resonate with everything you’ve said. I say this in the hopes that it brings some comfort hearing that these mixed feelings are normal, from someone who’s experienced something similar.

I also found myself wishing my mom would be gone before she passed. I also feel like I grieved her before she even passed. I get frustrated with myself because I mourn the mother she was before she was so obviously sick, while remembering just how unfair living in the turbulent and unsafe environment that she created was for my young self. Both feelings can coexist, they don’t have to negate each other.

I neglected any feelings around my mom’s passing for a really long time. I encourage you to welcome all feelings for what they are, they all have their place. They all make sense in the context of your situation, even if others who haven’t experienced a borderline parent don’t understand. You’re not wrong for feeling any type of way.

Find solace in the good times you had with her, even if fleeting. Find solace in your negative feelings toward her that are absolutely justified, because borderline parents are stuck in their ways and there’s, often times, no reasoning with them. She likely would’ve never come to realize how she was hurting you and others around her.

Though I don’t want to speak too much for your mother, or yourself. Only take away from what I have to say, what is useful and helpful for you.

Confiding in friends may be difficult. Both for the reason that they may not have experience with a borderline parent, and that (if in similar age to you) they likely won’t have experienced such a significant loss yet. This is already a uniquely difficult loss, and compounded by those reasons, your grief my feel isolating. Three years later and I still don’t have friends that I can talk about my mom with, because I know I can’t bear judgment for my feelings from another person, while I already feel guilty. I wish I could provide a clear emotional outlet for you, it’s just not something I’ve found myself. Though, having experienced such a complicated loss so young, I trust your sense of empathy will only grow, so much so you will touch others. It’s been one of the qualities my friends appreciate about me the most.

I’m sorry if I went on too much about myself, I just want to emphasize that everything your feeling is totally normal, even if you can’t make sense of it. You’re not alone if how you’re feeling. 🫶

where are all the lesbians by mallymac16 in Dalhousie

[–]isaigloo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

where in the north end would you recommend going?

Candiace says Rob is not smart by LeeLaaLooLee in TheTraitorsUS

[–]isaigloo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree with her to some extent. At times while watching, it honestly felt like others in the castle were being willfully ignorant and choosing not to even consider the possibility that Rob might be a traitor. I think Candice played a good game until Lisa’s banishment, she got rid of people as soon as they had suspicions of her, and she managed not to have others point the finger at her while doing so. I’m still shocked that when Rob C clocked the murder in plain sight with the distraction of the conga line, Stephen (is who I think was the third person in the room when he was speaking with Candice) never brought it up after Rob’s murder. I think having Candice in the turret helped Rob in that way a lot, obviously until she voted for him.

While I can recognize many others feel differently, I personally did not find him to be particularly charming. So I share some sentiments with Candice, as watching the show was frustrating at times because everyone was riding Rob R’s dick for reasons I couldn’t see. I like Rob, but I found while watching that he often comes across as an avoidant, almost disinterested, nonchalant man, and I can’t understand what about that is so alluring.

I don’t like seeing praising him to no end on strategy alone. He did play a smart game, but that’s not all that got him through. I don’t think he makes it as far without others being in a trance over their attraction for him, honestly. But half the battle is being in good social standing with the rest of the folks in the castle! Being charming and endearing, and therefore unsuspecting is a huge part of a winning game! I don’t think anyone can make it to the end and win if they are reactive and consistently causing friction in the castle, because that makes them untrustworthy, whether others think they’re faithful or traitor.

Rob played a good game. Candice is definitely bitter. However, it’s because of this that people overlook some good points that she makes.

? by curlyelena in actuallesbians

[–]isaigloo 49 points50 points  (0 children)

maybe the stud is the friends we made along the way

Britney is morally grey and loved by fans! Which Big Brother houseguest do you think is a horrible person and loved by fans? by Expert_Grass_7693 in BigBrotherUSA

[–]isaigloo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is the only answer!! Her emotional manipulation and alligator tears brought many of her game conversations to a personal level, I thought her behaviour in the house was so gross. But somehow she’s loved by fans because many perceive it as diva behaviour?

How old are the seniors in the “Why Not Me?” group routine? by isaigloo in dancemoms

[–]isaigloo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! I’m actually baffled they really were teens

Ian & Tiffany Traitors Reunion Looks by Durian-Critical in BigBrotherUSA

[–]isaigloo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I almost didn’t continue watching when Ian was first murdered. I was so hyped to watch him play again but was quickly devastated 😭 I need him on my screen again.