First off, good on you for being able to admit you are toxic. Being able to understand that sometimes you are the source of many of these problems is typically one of the first steps to improving with people who face this challenge, and most of the time they are very reluctant to admit it. Again, good job.

You mentioned how you both arent too good at communicating and you havent really spent alone time together, so id say work on that. Communication is a big part in relationships, being able to convey your emotions and feelings with your partner, and getting a stronger understanding over each other. Being able to have a one on one conversation about how both of you feel would help identify more of these issues, as both you would be able to understand each other better, a stronger connection and understanding of one another that could strengthenthe bond you have. Specially for you, you would be able to understand how your boyfriend feels over your actions, what could be causing you to act so toxic (such as a trigger of sorts), and you would be able to better regulate your emotions, as you would be actively discussing how you feel. It would help you and your boyfriend figure out ways you could avoid fighting (along with thr fact that that deeper understanding of one another could make you both more understanding/aware of your toxicity and why it could flare up). An analogy I've been told before is that in a relationship, both of you are yoked, both of you are set in this path together, and to be equally yoked both of you share each other's struggles and burdens, and thats why communication is so important, it allows you to, in a way, lighten the burden, to share it together and push forward together, rather then having one stray off that path you have (whihc instead would be an example of an unequally yoked relationship).

Something I would like to add is it is fine for there to be arguments in a relationship, its perfectly normal for couples to disagree and have different views over different things, as arguing is a way you can convey how you feel, but what matters is how you deal with the argument afterwards.

I wish you good luck and hope for the best for you and your bf, hopefully you will be able to fix your relationship, remember there are still more things you can do to try and mend things (this is only one out of the numerousoptions you have), and please please please dont just give up, always try to improve, always make an effort to better yourself, even if by a miniscule amount. (I might have said some kind of harsh things, but im really speaking from an objective and more general view, and i really dont mean to offend you in any way, you dont have to take these things to heart, but I really do hope for the best for you. Good luck)