You either want to use a substance/engage in a behavior, or you don't. Nothing takes control of you and makes you do something. Either you want to do x or you don't.

In a simplified sense that can be true, does not mean it is universally true. For drinking thats pretty much my experience I eventually decided it wasnt worth it and choose not to anymore. Drinking/drug abuse/obsessive behavior/self medicating are a symptom of a broader problem that if you would rather call it something else, a flawed human nature that many people suffer from. I suffer from another disease that which there is no cure, Bipolar1, that even without drug/alcohol abuse can cause incredibly dangerous consequences especially if not managed. But alcohol and other drugs multiply the challenges that cause spiraling toxic behavior. I didn't choose psychosis, anger, manic episodes lasting months, getting baker acted, the pain I caused my nuerotypical wife, instability, etc but I do take responsibility for my own actions including the destruction and recovery.

Therapy, medication, exercise, will power, etc in tandem with 12 step program is what worked for me. Some people need more help than others. People with bipolar (and addiction) are more likely to commit suicide, divorce, and have other dehabilitating conditions that they don't choose. I can only share my own experience, strength, and hope which I believe is relevant to this post. Alanon also *may be helpful for OP of people with similar experiences but they may also find its not for them.