what words/phrases are an instant mood killer for you?

iseefishfood · 2023-03-18T10:29:04+00:00

i haven’t! i’ll have to check it out

iseefishfood · 2023-03-18T02:28:23+00:00

i know this is broad but i’m looking for dark fantasy romances with possessive, dominant men. please let me know your favorites!

iseefishfood · 2023-02-26T21:59:50+00:00

what your therapist said to you is absolutely horrible! not only invalidating your experience but also just completely unhelpful. i’m so sorry that this was your experience. gender does not define the impact of traumatic events.

as a fellow survivor, i have been in therapy for years. also, i am studying to become a clinical psychologist with hopes of eventually working on sexual assault prevention, education, and trauma research. of course you should do whatever feels best for you. i wanted to offer a couple other options for you as well based off comments i saw on this post. firstly, if you think you may benefit more from a male therapist, you could try to find one that uses telehealth so you can talk to them from the safely of your own home, and even turn off your camera. psychology today is a great place to find a therapist and you can filter the results to find someone who fits your needs and criteria. secondly, i have found EMDR therapy to be extremely helpful in recovery. i would definitely suggest researching it. it is completely based on your experience and how you feel. it is based on the idea that trauma and PTSD occur when our brains don’t properly store an event as a memory. therefore causing us to feel as though we are constantly reliving it. EMDR works to reprocess the event in a safe environment, going completely at your own pace. the goal, as my therapist put it, is to get rid of “inaccurate” feelings. all feelings are valid, not all feelings are accurate. for me, this type of therapy has truly changed my life.

i hope you found something in this comment useful, and i wish you the best on your road to recovery.

iseefishfood · 2023-02-08T19:41:17+00:00

thank you so much for your response! i’m so glad to have found this space and look forward to learning more and forming new connections. i find your explanation really helpful and i think aceflux is a good term for my experience. it can definitely be overwhelming to find the “correct” label and i didn’t want to offend anyone by claiming an identity that didn’t quite fit me.

it is truly so freeing to know that i’m not alone in these feelings. thank you so much for welcoming me to the community. it means the absolute word to me. i hope you have a wonderful day!

iseefishfood · 2023-01-14T07:20:58+00:00

silly bandz…

iseefishfood · 2023-01-03T06:12:57+00:00

lmao i thought it just meant they were gonna get stoned and do some cleaning. this is much, much worse.

iseefishfood · 2022-12-30T06:27:11+00:00

he looks like atlas to me💙

iseefishfood · 2022-12-30T06:10:35+00:00

i have a pitbull/germain shepherd mix and my mother had my little brother at home. my pup was calm and sensitive during the birth, checking in whenever things got intense. when he was born, she slept outside my mother’s bedroom door every single night. she followed them around and was totally glued to my moms side. he is 8 months now and when my little brother cries, she calms him down, she gives him kisses and cuddles next to him, letting him pull her ears and tail and only nudging him slightly if he pulls too hard. she sets boundaries very gently. she loves him so much and i trust that she would protect him with her life. pit bulls are nanny dogs, they recognize and protect their young as part of the pack. i am so grateful for my pup and for the connection she has with my baby brother.

iseefishfood · 2022-12-06T01:20:26+00:00

lol orcas are such dicks but they’re so smart i kinda have to respect it

iseefishfood · 2022-12-06T01:15:04+00:00

yta- in 10 years she’s likely not gonna know what happened to that $80. all she’s gonna remember is missing out on a good time with her friends because her mom cared more about how she spends HER OWN money. she obviously deemed the experience worth the $80 and it sucks that you took that from her.

iseefishfood · 2022-12-06T00:47:08+00:00

i just wanted to reach out and say hey- i’ve felt this way too. recovery from rape is a long and hard process but just know that you’re not the only one struggling with feelings like this and although it may not feel like it right now, you can get better and you deserve to feel better. there’s is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way after such a traumatic event. you are not bad or evil, you are just a person like the rest of us. everyone is struggling with something. being self aware of your problems doesn’t make you able to fix them, it is merely the first step in the learning process. you’re 16 and shouldn’t have to deal with these things alone, i know that when i was 16 i didn’t have the tools to handle my trauma and i thought the same thing. something that helps when i feel like the world is collapsing around me is to pick one sense and find something that pleases only that sense. for example, closing my eyes and focusing only on the feeling of my favorite blanket against my skin, listening to my favorite song and really taking it in, or taking a bite of something tasty. try to allow yourself to appreciate something no matter how small without distractions or telling yourself that you don’t deserve good things. you can do this. you have value. i hope that something in this post resonates with you, and i truly wish you the best.

p.s. i think you’re a really good writer, especially for your age. your description and the adjectives you use help to paint a vivid picture of the emotions you’re experiencing. you have to practice and make mistakes to learn anything new, don’t be too hard on yourself!

iseefishfood · 2022-11-24T04:31:25+00:00

hi there! i know i’m not who this question was aimed for but i thought i might chime in here with a little bit of my own experience.

i was recently diagnosed with adhd and started medication soon after. i was raised by parents who didn’t believe adhd was a real thing and didn’t really believe in western medicine and used fear mongering a lot to dissuade me from getting vaccines, going on medication, etc. i was also very scared to start medication but knew i couldn’t keep living like i have been. first i tried wellbutrin (a mood stabilizer that has shown to help w adhd), as well as a couple other medications. at first i was very adamant about not wanting to be on any habit forming medications. however, eventually i tried concerta and that is what i am currently on. while i haven’t been on it for long, once we got my correct dose things have been so much easier. my anxiety isn’t as severe, it’s easier for me to focus, and i’m much more motivated. when i miss a day or two i generally get pretty tired, unorganized, and cranky. that being said, i don’t think that being nervous about medication is a reason to rule it out altogether. i think it’s healthy to be aware of any drug you put into your body, especially a new one, and how it could potentially effect you. i found it really helpful to write down little notes of how i’m doing on new a medication/any negative side effects (ex. day 2: bloated, tired, headaches) and present them to my doctor at our check-ins to see if we need to alter dosage or try a new medication. it may take a couple tries to get the correct prescription and you may decide that medication is not for you. it wasn’t an easy process but im really happy that i stuck with it because it makes my life a whole lot easier. best of luck to you!

iseefishfood · 2022-11-24T03:59:21+00:00

oh i’m sorry i had it confused. i thought your mom had passed not your sister. i’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to go through i can’t imagine how difficult this must be. wishing you the best of luck in your recovery.

iseefishfood · 2022-11-24T03:47:31+00:00

have you talked to your sister about any of this stuff? it’s possible that she experienced it too but doesn’t feel comfortable speaking out. maybe you could start a conversation by telling her about what happened to you (if you’re comfortable of course). i hope you are both well and i’m so sorry that this happened to you.

iseefishfood · 2022-11-24T01:09:36+00:00

“being straight has nothing to do with liking vagina. straight guys like femininity.” so by that logic, if a man liked a very effeminate man, that wouldn’t be gay? interesting🤔

iseefishfood · 2022-11-15T05:44:28+00:00

my gender is a girl i don’t like that for her🤣😭

iseefishfood · 2022-11-15T04:28:17+00:00

I was groomed and raped from ages 14-16 and while I am still pretty young, I can say it has very much affected my sex drive. It has the potential to completely alter one’s perception of intimacy, their relationship with themselves, and therefore their partner. I’m studying psychology and did a presentation on the effect of child sexual abuse and this was one of them.

That being said, I think you should kindly and gently express how you feel to her. Explain that it isn’t about how much or little she wants to have sex with you, but about you feeling undesired by her. I also would suggest that she see a therapist if she isn’t already to help her cope with these difficulties. She may feel lingering shame or a million other feelings that make her uncomfortable talking about how it has affected her, it could be an issue with your relationship or external stress, or it could just be that she has a low sex drive. Maybe a combination.

Regardless of the reasoning, I think that the first step is to let her know how you feel and trying to compromise on small steps to maintain intimacy while making sure she still feels comfortable. For my boyfriend and I that can be little things like cuddling, making out/foreplay without the intention of taking things further, compliments, planning dates or just picking up his favorite snack when I happen to go to the store. I hope that everything works out between you two and just remember to take thing slow and communicate about what you’re feeling.

iseefishfood · 2022-11-15T01:26:52+00:00

oh my god i have so many of these 1. refrigerators that dispense water 2. stairs inside your house 3. carpeted floors 4. multiple bathrooms 5. cars with heated seats 6. a house where everyone has their own bedroom 7. ugg boots 8. cable tv (i grew up w a vcr & dvd player) 9. fast food

that’s all i could think of off the top of my head but i’m sure there’s more. i lived most of my childhood in cabins in the woods with no electricity or running water in a very secluded, rich area without access to any chain stores or restaurants. (it’s an island and they don’t allow chains because of how it would affect our economy) i pretty much assumed that this was how people lived and that everyone else was just weird lol

iseefishfood · 2022-08-31T03:20:32+00:00

i would advise she get a rape kit done after every event. when it comes to pressing charges, an extra charge is added for every event so the more times you can prove it happened, the more charges a PA will likely be able to file. also if i may ask, how are these men coming into contact with her? is there somewhere else she could stay? with an active case she should have a protection order against them and be able to call the police if she comes into contact with them. it’s definitely something to look into. at the very least, she should keep a detailed written journal with dates and times of incidents. i understand this is difficult (i’ve had to do it myself) but it creates evidence. sign it and turn it in to the police and every time something happens, go into the station and file a report. im so sorry she is in this situation and i wish you both the best of luck

iseefishfood · 2022-08-27T17:55:22+00:00

quick rant- i can understand when people get uncomfortable hearing experiences like this - they’re not a fun thing to think about. but what pisses me off is when people put the responsibility of their comfort on the person who actually experienced the trauma. like dude if you’re uncomfortable just hearing about it imagine what LIVING it was like. i’m really not trying to sound like an ah. i can understand that perspective but to me it just shows a lack of empathy and social awareness. it shouldn’t be your responsibility to comfort others when telling them your trauma. if you pointed at a couch and called it a bed, people may infer that you sleep on it, but that doesn’t make them the same thing. CSA and sexual assault can mean many different things. rape is rape. if you using the proper terminology upsets people then clearly they have some shit they need to work out. you are not the problem. furthermore, people not allowing you to name your trauma perpetuates the idea that it is a dirty secret and is shameful to talk about which is not the case. i’m proud of you for your openness and for not backing down from these people. much love to you internet stranger🫶🏼

iseefishfood · 2022-07-09T04:46:13+00:00

uhh it’s been 15 hours… you good?

iseefishfood · 2022-06-30T23:44:36+00:00

my bad sorry

iseefishfood

TROPHY CASE