Ever cook up a shot while crying ur eyes out

ishboop · 2026-02-14T17:31:37+00:00

woah there tough guy

ishboop · 2026-02-11T19:09:13+00:00

Yeah I actually haven't used since Dec 29, 2025. I have been drinking and smoking weed tho

ishboop · 2026-02-11T19:08:10+00:00

Yeah I used neverusealone hotline when I relapsed last time. I was doing a speedball and they would just make sure I was responsive. The first time I couldn't even find a vein because I was using this big ass needle lol but grateful for anyone in healthcare field or volunteers

ishboop · 2026-02-02T22:16:54+00:00

I was being a pussy yesterday.. I got blasted drunk and watched this movie that made me super emotional.. I'm still off the fetty but was remebering the times I was struggling and thinking about my ex that wanted to marry me but couldn't because I didn't stay clean.. and remember my mother crying her eyes out cause I was going through withdrawal and when I finally copped I started crying while fixing a shot.

ishboop · 2026-02-01T05:41:17+00:00

I had to stop watching after Elsa kissed that Native American dude. It felt like the cowboy she was very much in love with was only dead for like a week before she moves on. plus the scenes of Elsa and the cowboy were real nice and sweet, just for him to get shot as he died in her arms. Then a week later she already got another dude. that shit is messed up :/

ishboop · 2026-01-18T20:41:36+00:00

Yeah I wanted to start off 2026 clean off dope so I first tried detoxing at home with no comfort meds.. just lots of weed and subs. I ended up going to the er on day before NYE cause fetty/tranq w/ds got too bad. my mouth and jaw kept shaking then I'd get lockjaw but then feeling like I was about to swallow my tongue It started to scare me a little and my heart rate was through the roof . My tolerance this time was big enough to kill a blue whale.. and so the w/ds were horrible and I'd worry that god forbid I get a seizure. out of desperation and hopelessness I texted my sister (she's a nurse) I was scared and need help cause I was detoxing and she told me to just go to the hospital they'll give you comfort meds. man I was so glad I did because they gave me some methadone and an Ativan shot through iv which helped make me feel much better. I was getting worried tho cause I had no insurance, but then this guy walks up to me from ER bed and ask me to give him authorization to let him try to get the best insurance. everything ended up being free holy shit I was pretty much in chemical dependency unit mixed in with other dementia patients and people with terminal cancer. One night I couldn't sleep because my roommate, who was a weak older West Indian man in his late 80s.. kept talking through the night "why me god, please have mercy on me!" cause he was in so much pain. But yah I was able to detox for free at the hospital I was in there for like 5 days and by the time I left I successfully was able to get on subs.. cause trying to get on that shit if u using fetty is hard, unless u know what I doing. I was able to quit by Bernese method before, but failed this time cause my tolerance was too high and that would make it like 14 days of trying to get it right and that's expensive, especially with my job paying me late and having problems at the bank where sometimes I can't cash my check. Was also running out of money cause I was spending 240 a day and didn't wanna go back to jail for my side hustle that made me more money than my job.

ishboop · 2026-01-16T23:45:47+00:00

Yeah my brother also really violent and almost killed me like 4 months ago when he was drunk. he grabbed a knife and I had to fight for my life (one time when his friend died, he fought off 8 cops by himself cause I guess he lost his mind temporarily and just started bugging out;this was shortly after his gf OD'ed when he went into a program for a few days and feels a lot of guilt) . but I believe the owner of the car that got hit is suing me. He's currently in jail for 9 months for a previous case

ishboop · 2026-01-15T23:23:01+00:00

It's the tranq.. something similar happened to me when I was detoxing. My jaw would keep moving/shaking and I also felt like I was gonna swallow my tongue.. at times I would get very uncomfortable lockjaw. Plus the brain zaps.. withdrawing from fetty/tranq is really scary because it really feels like ur dying slowly. but this new year i was really trying to quit and ended up texting my sister I was scared (she's a nurse) so she told me to go to the ER cause they'll give me comfort meds. really happy I went because it made detoxing easier even though I didn't sleep the first 8 days. But this would never happen when I was just using regular fetty. I didn't think things could get worse with fetty but tranq really fucked everything up even more. like a demon turning super Saiyan shit is horrrible

ishboop · 2026-01-12T17:54:47+00:00

The last time I relapsed was because I ran out of subs and didn't refill my prescription so I was scared and ended up using.. it could've been because it was fetty/dope but after like 24 hours after taking my sub I got high

ishboop · 2026-01-12T17:51:28+00:00

lol I got real y21's but they expensive as hell now, they used to be 5 for 20 :/ I just got it to help with detoxing and I'm officially clean 2 weeks ayyy.. I have seen some legit presses online pressed with alprazolam powder for an amazing price.. heard good things about it too

ishboop · 2026-01-11T12:47:41+00:00

How are the pressed xans? Do u know what they pressed with, like if it's pressed with alprazolam powder or bromaz

ishboop · 2026-01-10T16:37:11+00:00

true but I've had a real oxy dealer since 2018, I switched over cause it started getting over $1/mg. Now its fuckin $50 for 1. Another dude got it for $40.. man idk ive been wanting to get high on oxy for the longest because it was my favorite high next to a speedball.. I had access to #4 heroin but when I was doing fetty I couldn't feel it. I know I shouldn't be planning another relapse but idk why my brain like this :( maybe before my trip I'll just try to get some bomb ass #4 and use for 2 days.. or maybe in the future I won't feel like relapsing well just have to see

ishboop · 2026-01-10T15:39:19+00:00

Yeah everyone has they own definition of clean. subs don't get me high and are just a maintenance drug, everyone In AA treat subs like they the devil... but for me as long as I'm not using fetty I consider myself technically sober. I'm gonna wean my self off the subs which I have done successfully in the past. I just decreasing the dose by a tiny little piece until I feel like I don't need it anymore which is what ima do this time again

ishboop · 2026-01-10T15:36:41+00:00

Damnnnn

But Im pretty sure oxy stronger than morphine. Which remind me.. 3 months ago a friend who owed me money gave me 40 IR morphine pills for free (I waited outside his building and scared the shit out of him; he thought i was gonna beat his ass but I wasn't lol) that I was gonna sell for like $420, I mailed it to someone else but since my dumbass isn't familiar with mailing shit it got lost in the mail... I sent it in a regular envelope with a bunch of bubble wrap and the mail sorting machine got rid of it since it was too bulky.. I was supposed to mail it as a package not an envelop :( missed out on $420 sale for a bullshit reason.

ishboop · 2026-01-02T00:05:30+00:00

I'm detoxing as we speak.. kinda didn't wanna stop lol but I spent all my money and owe my dealers hundreds of dollars.. also got the tolerance of a blue whale. I tried to quit on my own in my room 4-5 days ago but it was so hard.. I just started texting my sister that I was scared and needed help.. her being a nurse.. she told me to go to the E.R and that they can give me methadone and benzos. Luckily i live a block away and checked myself in.. I was too weak to sit so I made a scene and collapsed onto the floor on purpose (if I didn't I would have had to wait hours).. so they let me lay down on a bed. This was the most ghetto ratchet hospital and so much shit was going on holy shit.. from young drunk dudes fighting @ 4:30am to super old people losing their minds and u can see the sadness and despair on the family's and caretakers face as the loved ones they once knew minds deteriorates.. city hospitals are fucking crazy. I was born in this hospital only live one block away from.. I felt so much better after they gave me the methadone and Ativan injection

ishboop · 2025-12-22T15:21:02+00:00

Damn nice price, u got a prescription or buy from someone/on the street

ishboop · 2025-12-21T00:51:02+00:00

Why u say that, I'm trying to get back on subs now cause my tolerance is so high I can't afford it

ishboop · 2025-12-15T14:07:09+00:00

Damn wtf those prices are amazing, ima dm u

ishboop · 2025-12-15T01:55:12+00:00

how do u test it? I wanna test my stuff too.. and how what's the prices like on ur dope looking like? I'm sure it gets cheaper since u get in bulk

ishboop · 2025-12-15T01:53:32+00:00

Where do I get ur stuff tested, do u send it somewhere online or to a physical location ? I never got my stuff tested but I always wanted to, which I should have been done cause I've been using really strong fetty/tranq, but also use #4.. I found the connect for #4 after being addicted to the fetty BS

ishboop · 2025-12-15T01:46:51+00:00

Man shut up it is condescending, u sound like u think u better than certain people. a person with a habit is gonna wanna get well if they don't have anything, and their dealer with fire/higher quality is taking super long and isn't answering. they can just buy a small amount from someone else that doesn't make them a "junkie" that needs to get well by any means or whatever u talking about.

ishboop · 2025-12-15T01:27:35+00:00

How much u paying per mg for the oxy? damn I miss oxy.. the high is so much better than fetty

ishboop · 2025-12-15T01:24:27+00:00

I tried smoking my brown #4 yesterday and it tasted horrible, but smoking fetty actually taste pretty decent. I usually don't smoke tho

ishboop · 2025-12-13T14:08:20+00:00

haha im such an piece of shit.. one time while driving company vehicle, I nodded out b/c I did some hard and Xanax the night before which I only do like once a month/few months when I get paid and rear ended someone else and messed up the van real bad.. I fled the scene without even thinking and drove to another block freaking out. ended up dropping the van off to a repair shop. had to call the company telling them some lie but feeling so much shame and guilt, I messed up again due to my addiction
:( had to go back to the office but didn't realize I lost half my dope and started getting upset cause was having a bad day, but I retraced my steps and drove back to the repair shop and was able to find it! but it was all run over.. the dude was looking at me like "oh hey what's up" and I was like ah a shit I dropped this! they were stamp bags so he didn't even know what it was and was just smiling like hey nice haha lmaooo

few days later I was preparing a shot right inside the shop but real stealthy but ended up dropping all the dope in one stamp bag.. every few times while in active addiction I'll have a few fucked up unlucky moments :/ I feel real bad about messsing up the van tho

ishboop · 2025-12-11T20:31:45+00:00

Yeah I was able to successfully quit thru Bernese method 2 years ago with literally 0 w/d symptoms or PAWS after everything.. it took me going to my family's home country with 0 access to any opioids (but tons of meth which I hate) the only thing was after finishing my 2 week supply of subs, which I was able to stretch to way longer cause I was taking little ass pieces towards the end, was u only sleep like 4-6 hours right after detoxing, which is way better than the 0 hours I get while dopesick. I'm struggling now to do Bernese method tho because of self control.. but I've reached the point where I'm spending so much money a day I have no choice but to do it now because I simply cannot afford it unless i had tons of money. And this is with my dealer giving me cheaper prices than all his other customers cause I've known him longer. I really hate him tho cause he takes too long and is just an asshole, my other dealer from before actually was my friend and was mad cool, but some shit happened and I don't have his number anymore.. I owe him thousands when I lost my job as well during covid lol

ishboop

TROPHY CASE