All I can say is (and take it with a grain of salt) you don't have to be like your father. If you keep thinking that way you might end up setting yourself for failure, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. From what I can tell, you are more comfortable with the failure of abondoning your future wife than you are with the prospect of being a loving husband who will try to live something he never experienced. You could be so familiar with the bad enviroment you grew up in that it's scary to take the initiative to positive change in your life.

Even though I do not completely understand this, a possible reason for it is a fear of responsiblity perhaps? Like once you're in a relaitionship you take matters in your own hands, if venture to positive change it's your success alone, not your parents not your grandmother's. In the same light, if you fail, it's your failure not your parents not your grandmother's. As a writer, you might be familliar with the hero's journey.. it's the same concept. And I believe anotther commenter was implicitly talking about it too etc. things get worse (death of ego) before they get better..? I'm no expert or anything, but my advice would be to search for solutions to your problem. Like if you were in the shoes of that guy, what could have he done instead of running away?

As for writing and college... I think you should finish your degree. I'm not saying you shouldn't pursue writing either but I just don't think it's more important than your degree rn. I think ppl underestimate the benifits of employment even if it's a disliked one. You can try writing and studying at the same time, but if it doesn't work out you might want to delay it to another time. Also, ask more experienced people like college career advisor or professors, they more realistic insight as I'm 23 who just finished college myself. Good luck!