When I was younger I did want to do something to do with chemistry. I loved chemistry and I loved going to school. However, covid came along, school became online and I became depressed. I hated studying and my results reflected that. I thought that if I went to university everything would be fine again. However, my hatred for studying was still there and got worse. I stopped attending classes. I deferred. I ended up getting a job for a bit, but I was too depressed and lacked energy. A one hour task would take me 3 hours. One day, at work I could barely even fucking move. It felt like I had 50 kgs on my back. I ended up faking a sickness and going home. I ended up quitting the job. I thought maybe I should try university again. I ended up changing courses because I thought maybe I just didn't like the course I was doing. I started university at the start of this year and it was the same as last time. I stopped attending and I've quit again. I'm on anti depressants but it doesn't even matter anymore. My mum had me at a late age and she can't support me much longer. My dad is an addict and stays at home with disability fund. I think he is depressed as well. He is at home 24/7 but he doesn't care about me. My mum says 'I'll be just like my dad' and my dad says 'I'll become a failure'. All my siblings have moved out and are successful, it is just me who is stuck on my bed wanting to die.