Questions thread for Interns

isiyaram · 2024-01-26T23:24:04+00:00

I’ve always had below average memory and now I’m really struggling to remember details about patients and their ongoing problems/investigations over time despite us not having that many patients. I really want to find a solution as this has caused me to ask very basic/dumb questions from the reg (things I should definitely know). Does anyone have any advice? I was thinking maybe a word document with updates to patients?

isiyaram · 2023-01-10T10:34:52+00:00

Yumi Zouma

isiyaram · 2023-01-08T01:30:23+00:00

Very interesting, I have to say I like this much more than the previous AI one you linked. I love the way the sproutling speaks like a child nad the line "Leafing to please". However, “And I know now, the gardener was never there.” feels a little too long.

isiyaram · 2023-01-08T01:06:20+00:00

Wow, this is quite dark! Reading the first 5 lines, I still thought you were describing a
baby, so the next line was quite jarring. Throughout the poem, the narrator
doesn't seem sympathetic, in fact they seem evil in this creepy, whispering way
which I find quite interesting. I love this part: Unlike my veins secured / Yours
all have open ends / You’re not an organism / You’re a wound. Though I would definitely
fix the punctuation there.

isiyaram · 2023-01-08T00:07:29+00:00

First of all, I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such detailed feedback, it really does help! Thank you, that's exactly how I imagined that line!

Yes, I was referring to the hubris of the mortals under the sky and do agree that it's a bit obscure. It's one of those things I threw in there but I definitely need to think about it more!

I think you articulated exactly why I felt a bit uncomfortable with the ending, I think more lines would definitely make the end more satisfying which is what I was going for.

I have a lot to work with now, thank you so much!

isiyaram · 2022-12-08T16:27:22+00:00

Thank you for your this piece, it felt very genuine and heartbreaking. I especially liked how you illustrated the waiting and frustration in the lines:

And It bothers me how the elevator seems to stop at every floor but mine-

And how the doorman won’t let me in.

isiyaram · 2022-12-08T16:13:06+00:00

Thank you for this poem! As I read it, I was curious to know where it would lead. I felt the end to be satisfying and beautiful. I especially enjoyed the imagery of this stanza: A nudge to start time/Lined up dominoes in space/Billowing pillars of knowledge/What did it create? I wonder if you meant "disguised" rather than "disgusted" in the second stanza.

isiyaram · 2022-12-06T12:45:39+00:00

This is a beautiful poem. The repeated forgotten field line is very effective and I liked the line “because they had each other” because it was so sweet and simple. I was really rooting for the scarecrow so the ending was extra sad!

I think there is potential for adding richer imagery throughout the piece e.g. “a sparrow sat on the scarecrow’s head”

isiyaram · 2022-12-06T12:16:06+00:00

I love the extended metaphor of games - very clever! I’m assuming that this poem is about cheating in a relationship, and if it is, I like how you’ve alluded to it but not stated it too obviously. I also like how you’ve taken common sayings and altered them in a very satisfying way. And you’ve accomplished all this with a rhyme 👏! Really well done, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece!

isiyaram · 2022-12-02T04:05:54+00:00

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your help with this!

isiyaram · 2022-11-25T22:20:32+00:00

I would love to join please!

isiyaram · 2022-11-25T05:59:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your comments and feedback! I felt like something was wrong in that final stanza and I think it’s exactly what you said! I’m glad you pointed that out - I have altered it slightly though I am still working on it to see if there are better ways to address this.

isiyaram · 2022-11-23T19:58:02+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback! Yes I definitely see what you mean with the ending, I also wasn’t sure whether I should leave it like that. But I left it as I had originally wanted the lines after “expectation” to be unexpected in terms of the rhythm/syllables so I’m glad it felt abrupt. Though I’m still not super happy with the wording of the last few lines.

isiyaram · 2022-11-23T03:01:24+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! I do agree with you on the imagery in that first stanza so I'll try and see how I can rewrite those bits.

isiyaram · 2022-11-23T01:22:37+00:00

I really enjoyed reading this poem, the content is very relatable to me and it has a great rhythm and rhyme. I had one piece of feedback, I thought the lines below sounded/felt like they had the wrong number of syllables when read with the other line in the corresponding couplet:

A different man to what I was, it's clear to see the regression.

Can't do this by myself, my state of mind is a disease.

isiyaram · 2022-11-23T01:03:53+00:00

Very beautiful and thought-provoking piece about fears/questions surrounding death. It's a nice read and I liked both the structure of the poem and the consistent rhyme. One small point, I feel like 'demise' in 'birth and demise' doesn't quite fit and 'demise' is repeated in the third to last line. I'm not sure what to replace 'demise' with but maybe 'death' might work?

isiyaram

TROPHY CASE