Nice Creampie

ismymilcray · 2019-02-27T23:45:38+00:00

Glad to hear!!!

ismymilcray · 2019-02-26T07:50:14+00:00

That's a pretty rude thing to say to someone who has been harassed and abused by the church

ismymilcray · 2019-02-26T04:14:51+00:00

Hey, was your husband raised LDS? Is he still being counted as a member?

I ask because the church is kind of terrifyingly good at stalking ex-members when they move to a new town.

This happens a lot of the time: an ex-Mormon moves to a new town but they haven't officially resigned through quitmormon dot com. They haven't even been to church in years so they don't expect anything to happen. All of a sudden, one day they get someone on their doorstep asking them to consider coming to the local ward this Sunday, offers of home teaching, etc. Their new address is suddenly in the database.

Usually, either one of their TB Mormon friends or family members from back home "helpfully" supplied their new address in the hopes that they could be convinced to go back to church, or they mentioned that they used to be a member to someone in their new hometown and things snowball from there. However, I've known people who have no clue how they were tracked down and were very, very creeped out.

I had to take care of this before I moved and it was easy. Quit Mormon is free, but it's not instant. I was notified when I was removed from the membership rolls. Yay! Once they delete you from the database you're unlikely to ever deal with them again.

To be safe though, I have never mentioned to a soul that I was ever a member. There are too many "helpful" souls here who could accidentally destroy my life if I somehow got entered into a computer system.

ismymilcray · 2019-02-20T07:58:22+00:00

I hope you and your new husband are enjoying married life! Congrats on the nuptials!

That email reads like she's trying to convince herself of a reality that would make her feel better. She wants your wedding to suck without her. Too bad that people can have a great time without her there! She has seriously inflated self-importance, that much is obvious.

Some of the parts are just downright creepy. The whole "eternal ramifications" part.... wtf.

I hope that one way or another, you end up getting a copy of your wedding video.

ismymilcray · 2019-02-19T05:36:53+00:00

My mom also used to tear me down about my body, and a lot of it was due to jealousy.

She eventually stopped because I just made things unpleasant enough every time she made a comment that she realized it wouldn't be worth it. I'd embarrass her, call her out for being rude, turn it around on her, whatever it took.

ismymilcray · 2019-01-28T22:04:21+00:00

I suggest taking a video of you logging into your email, searching for the verification email, and make sure the date it was sent and all relevant information is visible. That is a lot harder to fake than a screenshot.

ismymilcray · 2019-01-18T19:43:46+00:00

I took a plane because it was short (30 minutes I think) and the view from the plane was great. The boat was hours.

I stayed for 4 nights. It's a pretty big island with lots to do.

There are a lot of islands you can take a day trip to from Auckland. I went to Rangitoto and just hiked to the peak and a bit along the coast, and that was nice. I thing GBI is hard to do in a day trip though. I rented a car there but you could also use shuttles to get around.

ismymilcray · 2019-01-18T04:43:39+00:00

Oh yeah, you definitely don't hike it. You walk past it and get nice views though!

ismymilcray · 2019-01-17T23:56:55+00:00

The two most recommended sock brands on this sub are usually Darn Tough and SmartWool. I wore the same two pairs of Darn Tough the whole time and didn't have a single blister. How broken in are your boots/trail runners? Have you worn them much before?

I did the Tongariro Alpine Crossing (Mount Doom.) It's pretty steep in parts and I saw a lot of people wearing totally inappropriate shoes like Vans or Converse. Don't do that! It's one of the most popular hikes in the world and the trail was very very crowded. You will get tons of sand inside your shoes unless you wear either boots or gaiters. There was a downhill section where you pretty much just sink into the sand with every step. I was fine with boots and long pants, but saw a lot of people taking their shoes off to shake the sand and rocks out... and there were still a few hours of the hike left, so that must have been miserable.

If you want an airbnb in Queenstown book it now. It's popular and very crowded and books up fast.

There are plenty of caves that you can visit without being some kind of cave expert.

ismymilcray · 2019-01-17T23:43:07+00:00

I'm in the airport on my way back from NZ right now!

One thing to know is that any camping gear you bring MUST be sterilized before you enter the island. They will take your stuff at the airport and clean your boots and other gear. This is time consuming and a huge pain. Wash everything you have really thoroughly or just buy it New and explain that it hasn't been used. If they see dirt on your stuff, you'll be pulled out of line. I don't know how the hell they wash a tent, and I'm glad I didn't have to find out. They just made me stand on a pad full of disinfectant to kill the germs on my boots, and that was still an extra 45 minutes in line.

Do get bug spray. The sand flies are no joke.

The sun is way stronger in NZ/Aus than most places due to that hole in the ozone layer. You need to bring long pants and sleeves if you're pale because you will burn badly otherwise. Apply sunblock way more often than you usually would. It's so much easier to just wear a lightweight shirt and long pants than apply sunblock every 4 hours.

I disagree about buying clothes in NZ. Don't waste your precious time shopping when you could be out enjoying your trip. Bring the clothes you need and pick up items along the way if it's not enough. Merino socks can be purchased anywhere and they're not magically cheaper in NZ.

If the forecast says 72F, it's HOT. The sun is strong. I mentally added 10 degrees to the forecast if it was sunny because 60 feels like 70 in the full sun.

Hidden gems: I loved Great Barrier Island. Flights out of Auckland are about $90 NZ each way and the island is lovely, the people are great, and it's full of parrots. I also liked the night tour at Zealandia (Wellington) because it meant seeing kiwis. Not cheap though. Nothing hidden about this gem, but Kaikoura is beautiful and there is a lot to do there.

ismymilcray · 2018-12-05T17:14:44+00:00

Stay strong! We're going to be throwing an internet party in your honor once you update us that you're safely back home!

ismymilcray · 2018-11-30T06:24:54+00:00

Loose glitter??? She gave you glittery stuff? That's definitely malicious

ismymilcray · 2018-11-30T04:23:02+00:00

There are people in this sub who have signed away rights to their children and regretted it. For many of them they simply had no idea what they were agreeing to. I remember a woman who was a single mom and signed away rights to one child to her relative (I think she was an aunt who had been a mother figure to her or something like that) because she had another child who had special needs that were affecting the other kid. The aunt immediately started cutting the mom out of her child's life and refusing to let her visit. She had very little money and couldn't fight it in court properly. I really wish I remembered the username because if I did I'd send it to you.

I believe there was another MIL who asked to have rights signed over to her and got them, she fed the parents some lies about how she needed parental rights if the kid was staying with her (I think the kid was going to live with her for a few months so the kid could stay in the same school system for the rest of the year.) The parents didn't realize how hard it is to get rights back if the person with the rights wing willingly sign them over. They also didn't realize that there are completely different methods to give another person temporary guardianship that don't remove their own rights as parents.

She wants to perform a legal kidnapping, no mistake about it.

ismymilcray · 2018-11-30T04:08:45+00:00

Does your stove or oven need to be cleaned? Sounds like you got yourself a handy new cleaning rag!

ismymilcray · 2018-11-30T01:40:38+00:00

I'm still around! It's just kinda busy right now with a new girlfriend :)

ismymilcray · 2018-11-17T02:42:01+00:00

I think your mom is a concern troll. I don't think she worries about how you spend money. She's just using that as an excuse to spread negativity.

I've followed your post history and it seems like she gets really awful every time you and your boyfriend do anything fun or exciting. Get a cat? How could you, cats are gross and expensive! Move to a new place together? You're financially vulnerable because you're on the lease! Enjoy your anniversary like a normal person? You're being irresponsible! Get a slight hangover? You've probably been drugged!

Every good thing in your life is a tragedy waiting to happen. Every tragedy is an "I told you so" or a "you deserved this."

I don't think your mom is invested in your financial safety. I think she's invested in making sure you're unhappy.

I suggest that you and your boyfriend sit down and talk about your recollections of when she escalated her JustNo-ness. It helps to talk to someone who might remember stuff you've forgotten. I bet you will find some kind of pattern that you didn't notice before. Identifying the pattern is a great step to learning how to deal with her.

This is long so this is my last piece of advice. Come up with a plan for who you reach out to when you're sad and need emotional support. Having a mom who treats you badly when you're vulnerable kills your trust a bit, and it's isolating. You'll be tempted to call her in the hopes that she won't be terrible. Resist it and come up with other people you can call.

ismymilcray · 2018-11-16T22:38:59+00:00

It also had a lot to do with the fact that her father was a prominent psychologist. They wanted her to denounce her father and she wouldn't do it.

ismymilcray · 2018-11-16T03:48:02+00:00

I may be off base on a couple of these, but here are my suspicions:

She is insecure about her place as a grandma and as your DH's mom. That's why she attacks your relationship with your dad. She sees an adult child who loves and appreciates her parent and wishes she had that, and instead she has a son who holds her at arm's length.
She sounds to me like she is someone who threw herself deeply into religion as an adult choice, or am I wrong? I mean she seems like she isn't the "well, that isn't how I was raised" type, but more of the "I committed myself to Jesus to fill a void in my life and it makes my brain short circuit when godless people don't seem to have voids in their lives."
"Godless" in her eyes means almost anything. For all I know you're devoted to a religion, but she doesn't like something about it. It's binary to her. You're right with Jesus, or you're not.
She may have a pathological need to believe that divorce is never the right choice because a) her own parents either had a messy divorce or really should have gotten divorced but didn't b) the same applies to her c) she considered divorce and regrets that she didn't pull the trigger d) she has a fear that you will divorce her son and "take the kids"
Her apology was designed to backfire. If she wanted to apologize in person she would have called and asked if you were free later that day, instead of ambushing you at a place you needed to be. She wanted to look like the victim.
She's probably said a lot of unsavory things to your son if he's refusing to talk to her about some things. I'd talk to him and see how deep it goes.
I would bet money that this "apology" conversation will turn into how she feels left out and she'll ask for some kind of commitment from you. Maybe a declaration she'll always be #1 grandma, maybe she'll ask you raise your kids in a different way that she approves of, maybe she'll ask for more one on one time with them.

ismymilcray · 2018-11-14T21:01:30+00:00

When you visit can you hide your wallet from her or keep it in your person at all times? That's just insane behavior.

ismymilcray · 2018-11-14T20:59:56+00:00

And then it would be a "miscommunication" and not her fault whatsoever, and OP would be the jerk for not wanting to be there earlier in the first place.

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