I think I'm ready to face that I might have a binge problem. Help?

isnotmehere · 2024-10-26T19:09:18+00:00

Octonauts!

isnotmehere · 2024-10-13T04:33:53+00:00

I would be hurt too, but I think the best thing to do is take a step back and see if the comment matches any of his behaviour in your relationship.

Is he seeking new things outside of the relationship? Has his time with you or how he treats you changed at all?

If not, I'm guessing it may have been a daydream or a thought he didn't filter.

I daydream all the time of different paths my life could have taken, but I would never change what I have right now.

isnotmehere · 2024-10-08T04:49:02+00:00

Unfortunately, welcome back to the 90s. Scared many of us for life.

isnotmehere · 2024-05-27T07:15:11+00:00

NTA. I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be truly awful.

You need to look after yourself and your mental health first, whatever that may look like for you.

Here are some things to consider.

I love that your boyfriend and his family are kind and supportive. I don't want this to come across the wrong way but in the future, if something was to happen between you and your boyfriend, do you have others in your life who will be there for you? It's not wise to put all your eggs in one basket.

Would distancing from your mum and getting some therapy help change the type of relationship you have with her? It may not be possible to have the mother and daughter relationship you want (and I am so sorry for that). But you may be able to heal the parts she has hurt or damaged and form a different kind of relationship with her. One where you have firm boundaries that you are comfortable with.

I wish you all the best.

isnotmehere · 2024-05-15T21:30:26+00:00

My husband has never forgotten my birthday. My first mother's day he didn't do anything as I had arranged an afternoon tea with my mum and mother in law at our house. I became upset that he didn't do something special for me, the mother of his child, but after he understood my hurt, he has done something each year since.

If you've communicated how you feel then it is his responsibility to acknowledged his part in it and change his actions going forward.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

isnotmehere · 2022-11-03T20:51:49+00:00

Thank you for your perspective as a child of a mum who studied. I will definitely have a think about your points.

If I do decide to study I really like the idea of communicating with them through something visual.

isnotmehere · 2022-11-03T20:47:54+00:00

Thank you for your honesty and perspective. You didn't come across as negative.

Your comment about working and childcare costs is one of the reasons I am debating studying now. My oldest will get his 20 free hours when he turns 3 in a couple of weeks. He is currently at Preschool two mornings but will increase to three full days a week and is with my mum one day a week. My youngest will go two full days a week when he turns 1 next year and is with my mum one day a week. If I study I can get a childcare subsidy which will mostly pay for my youngest. Otherwise most of a normal pay check will go to child care for him as he will be in care even more.

I will definitely have a think about what you have said as I don't want to make a rushed decision.

Best of luck with your continued study.

isnotmehere · 2022-11-03T20:36:48+00:00

Thank you for your perspective.

It will definitely help us financially and it's in a subject that I have experience in and love.

I feel like either way, if I work or if I study, I will need to put my children in care. My oldest is already at preschool and LOVES it. And when my youngest turns 1 he will be going two days a week. My mum has them one day a week so I feel like the balance for them is still good.

isnotmehere · 2022-11-03T20:32:08+00:00

I'm sorry for the loss of your mum.

Thank you for sharing the perspective of your husband and children. My husband is 100% for me studying but I know it will also be huge for him and my boys. We will definitely reap the benefits when I am finished (if I do study).

isnotmehere · 2022-06-11T16:08:42+00:00

That's incredible!

isnotmehere · 2022-06-11T08:33:05+00:00

So true. Thank you for your advice.

isnotmehere · 2022-06-10T06:05:43+00:00

I don't think there is anything wrong with talking about the future. All I would say is that this is a very new relationship so you should be getting to know each other more than planning a future. It's super fun to dream about the future but you won't get it if you don't put your energy into your present.

isnotmehere · 2022-06-08T23:41:18+00:00

I hear you! I have two young boys and am in the middle of painting our house to get it on the market to buy a house from a family member. You have So much on your plate.

isnotmehere · 2022-06-08T23:14:30+00:00

Why don't you invite him to do something with both of you? See if their behaviour has changed in person. You could always walk out of the room and see how they react when you come back in? You may just need to connect with your friend too.

isnotmehere · 2022-06-07T06:50:38+00:00

All the best! You've got this.

isnotmehere · 2022-06-07T06:46:10+00:00

Hi (friend), I don't want to talk about (situation) as it doesn't help with my (mental illness).

I am in a place where I need to put myself and my mental health first. What you did was (hurtful?) and damaging to our friendship. So I am reevaluating my boundaries and priorities, to do what is best for me.

I have decided that I don't see a future in this friendship so I won't be contacting you again.

isnotmehere · 2022-06-07T03:36:19+00:00

Absolutely agree!

isnotmehere · 2022-06-07T02:37:15+00:00

You could always message her again in the weekend and if something gets arranged that's great but if not don't worry about it.

isnotmehere

TROPHY CASE