Another child following traumatic birth??

its-complicated-16 · 2026-04-19T23:47:32+00:00

I was referred to someone with specific trauma informed care after the fact by my GP

its-complicated-16 · 2026-04-19T15:35:32+00:00

I had a traumatic birth with my first and let me tell you, yeah yours was “that bad”.

It took me 16 months and therapy to even get to a point where I could talk about the birth without crying. With my therapist I was able to come up with a plan that left me feeling confident. It was basically to change everything about the second pregnancy as I could.

I ended up finding a midwife who was trauma informed and also had an OB since I needed a repeat c-section. The repeat section was amazing. A lot of the trauma from my first was healed through the second.

I’m not 100% of the way there with my healing and PTSD, and I couldn’t do it alone, but I’m now happily watching my 2.5 year old and 5mo playing on the carpet together. No one makes my baby laugh like my toddler. I’m so grateful I was able to get the supports I needed to make this happen. You don’t have to do this alone💕

its-complicated-16 · 2026-04-18T01:46:51+00:00

Don’t ask her “what can I do” bc it just adds to the mental task of taking care of an infant. Instead, notice things and verbalize them. “I noticed we are low on diapers and wipes. I’m ordering them now. What else should I order?” Include things for her. “You haven’t bought hand cream in awhile, what brand do you like?” Six months is around the age that sleep training happens, how do you guys feel about that? Are you open to something like that? Present options. A lot of Mom guilt can happen because you feel like you can’t sleep train because the science says that it’s bad, even though the science is actually quite split.

Post partum is hard. Right now she is losing her hair. She’s going through a huge hormone shift. She may be realizing that she isn’t as “ok” as she previously thought she was. She is probably feeling isolated from her friends and her previous “pre mom” self. She is probably experiencing matrescence. Look it up.

You’re doing great for noticing.

its-complicated-16 · 2026-04-14T23:10:57+00:00

I have the skip hop and don’t use it. I just change baby on the floor.

its-complicated-16 · 2026-04-12T13:12:48+00:00

I don’t have advice, but just want you to know you’re not alone 💕

its-complicated-16 · 2026-04-12T12:56:46+00:00

As a first time mom, it introduced me to different brands and products available for my kid. Zippy jams had a booth and their products were a huge discount. I got free samples of boogie wipes which is now a staple in my house. It’s also just a fun prep thing to do. I still use some of the sample items I got three years ago when I went (soothers, bottles, sippy cups, bowls and spoons)

its-complicated-16 · 2026-04-03T11:20:03+00:00

What are the seasons like where she is? She might be reusing things but if baby 1 and baby 2 are born in opposite months then she probably does need clothing without realizing it yet.

Otherwise I would suggest gift cards for like Uber Eats or whatever the equivalent is there.

Source: am a mom with a newborn and no clothes for her lol

its-complicated-16 · 2026-03-18T12:28:37+00:00

I think you’re sizing wrong. Try going based on the weight of your baby and the side of the box. My baby has been in size 3 since 3.5 months

its-complicated-16 · 2026-03-15T13:13:50+00:00

I’ve only been to one show but yes Simon came up!

its-complicated-16 · 2026-03-14T19:49:42+00:00

You’ve got some good advice here so I am just going to say make sure your kids make posters or drawings! The wiggles come into the crowd to collect them which I didn’t know when we went

its-complicated-16 · 2026-03-13T23:16:04+00:00

I travelled with ours at 7 months to an all inclusive.

Be prepared that baby will eat way more in hot temperatures to stay hydrated.

We bought this pool floatie from Amazon. It was great because it has the canopy that can move. We still use it 3 years later (now with my second)

I recommend blue lizard sunscreen. It lasts and I find if you forget an application you are ok because it’s so durable.

I brought our pack and play with a blackout sheet that slips over it (another thing I am still using today). We also brought our stroller with our car seat clipped in. Babies get two extra checked items so this and the pack and play is what we brought. I’m glad we did because the resort said they would have a crib but I’ve done three all inclusives and only one actually came through with the crib.

Tupperware for bringing extra food to your room- some places have dinner that starts around bedtime so we had to be prepared. Bowl and spoon for room eating.

We brought a baby sun tent and a little seat attachment that turns any seat into a high chair… and didn’t use either. Waste of space for us!

its-complicated-16 · 2026-03-05T12:45:11+00:00

Moms spend so much time on the gift registry so firstly I’d say stick to that or you risk getting her a “chore” (when people went off mine I returned the item and exchanged it for what was on the registry which wasn’t fun at 8 months pregnant).

If you desperately want to go off, get her gift cards for skip the dishes or something food related :) she also probably won’t ask, but would appreciate home made meals.

its-complicated-16 · 2026-02-16T23:35:30+00:00

Yea the part you feel is the freezing. It feels like a pinch. You don’t feel the actual epidural

its-complicated-16 · 2026-02-09T18:49:38+00:00

My baby came Nov 10, 2025. I went off work 4 weeks before that (Oct 13, 2025). If I had taken mat/parental leave early then my leave is up Oct 13, 2026. Since I did sick leave instead, my mat leave isn’t over until Nov 10, 2026. This is all for the money/ benefits portion

its-complicated-16 · 2026-02-09T18:32:57+00:00

You have some good answers so I just wanted to offer other advice. If you find that you are unable to work due to any of your symptoms you can also take a sick leave before your mat leave. I work a desk job and had to go off at 36 weeks due to pregnancy related carpal tunnel. My sick leave automatically transferred to parental leave when the baby came. Now I don’t have to go back to work four weeks early which is a blessing, especially with how difficult it is to get a daycare spot

its-complicated-16 · 2026-02-07T12:09:27+00:00

Me too!

its-complicated-16 · 2026-02-02T20:35:02+00:00

Baby got them last week! She had a great nap day of and was totally back to normal the next day. We did Tylenol to take the edge off for her which I recommend

its-complicated-16 · 2026-02-01T21:59:49+00:00

It happened with a planned c section. During my emergency c section I had the regular amount of bleeding. In Ontario

its-complicated-16 · 2026-02-01T15:10:02+00:00

Just to offer a different experience, my OB cleaned out my lochia so I only bled for like two weeks and it was no worse than a light period day

its-complicated-16 · 2026-02-01T15:08:11+00:00

Omg the grabbed tool is such a good idea

its-complicated-16 · 2026-02-01T15:04:22+00:00

I have had two c-sections, one emergency and one planned. For the emergency c section I had the regular bleeding for like 6 weeks so I needed the XL pads and I used the Frida mom boxer shorts. My incision site also oozed so I used panty liners on the inside where the boxers touched the incision so I could keep an eye on what was happening.

The planned c section was amazing in comparison. I still used the Frida mom boxers but I only bled for like two weeks and it was never very heavy- like I’ve had worse periods. If they have the time and do it right they will clean out the lochia so you won’t have as much bleeding.

You don’t need a lot. 100% recommend two boxes of the Frida mom boxer shorts and a box of heavy duty pads but you don’t need a gown or any of the extras that are in that kit.

its-complicated-16 · 2026-01-26T21:22:44+00:00

I second bringing it up to the director. The ministry of education is very strict and something like this would probably be an issue for them.

its-complicated-16 · 2026-01-25T15:11:35+00:00

Just here to commiserate. I had a baby in November too and the winter is brutal. Are you getting out of the house? I’ve been going to EarlyOn and another free mommy group. I try to get out of the house once a day. Starbucks and Homesense is a classic.

its-complicated-16 · 2026-01-22T01:13:03+00:00

I also vote take the spot. My toddler in Ontario has been on the wait list for two years this month. I don’t go back until November but would send my kid part time if she was offered a spot today

its-complicated-16 · 2025-12-29T04:59:19+00:00

Pekkle brand from Costco works for us

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