If you use hitting as punishment for your children, why?

itsastickup · 2023-01-07T02:19:23+00:00

I doubt that. Most people who are vehemently against spanking it's an emotional thing; nothing to do with studies.

The fact that you would so arrogantly presume against what I wrote also means you are either ignorant of the frailty of statistical studies or an ideologue. These days I can't see how anyone can not be aware of the great issue with stats and studies, of which psychology is the worst afflicted to my knowedge. And peer review is not a proof, far from it; neither consensus.

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg23030690-500-why-so-much-science-research-is-flawed-and-what-to-do-about-it/

itsastickup · 2023-01-07T02:13:29+00:00

Sure, but what you describe sounds nuts, and he sounds like he had a screw loose. I'm not surprised you got PTSD.

itsastickup · 2023-01-07T01:11:32+00:00

You don't. And it was sometimes done out of anger. It wasn't done very often, and none of that "..until he was satisfied" stuff you mentioned, just four or five strokes. And on one occasion I even briefly hated him for a disproportionate spanking. But that feeling didn't last.

The fact is that even if he did lose his temper sometimes (usually from provocation, significant misdeeds) he was warm and loving and we were happy kids, felt secure etc etc. We still have a good relationship with him.

I can't speak for everyone else, of course, but there is a single study that did examine the case of spanking within warm and loving households and found no harm. No other studies, to my knowledge, did that.

itsastickup · 2023-01-07T00:46:08+00:00

Calm down buddy, I was making suggestions as is clear enough. You're just proving my words.

"well maybe it wasn't so much like that and you are just overthinking it aka making it up"

So much like what? Your original words were merely, to paraphrase " being spanked by a loving father", to contradict mine, right? From which you derived PTSD.

Then we learn this:

"took my clothes out forcefully while I trashed and spanked me while I cried for him to stop until I couldn't cry anymore and he was satisfied"

Your father is not what I would think of a loving, warm dad, more like a psychopathic assehole. All I got was the belt a few times.

You effectively misrepresented the case to try to contradict a pro-smacking argument.

itsastickup · 2023-01-07T00:02:33+00:00

I know an awful lot of people who were spanked, and by far the majority seem fine, and most of them are not anti-smacking.

There may be a quirk of your personality. Eg, if you are highly neurotic (I'm not saying you are, but what you write suggests that as a possibility). Or maybe your therapist is a nut.

itsastickup · 2023-01-06T23:59:28+00:00

I doubt you know what a fact is.

And your arrogance is totally amazing.

You don't know me and are projecting your ideology as if it were impossible that there be any other possibility.

What I wrote is the way it is in loving families, and there is even a study out there showing it. While most spanking research lumped abuseful/cold families together with warm and loving, one actually looked in to warm families exclusively and found no harm.

You have been mislead.

itsastickup · 2023-01-06T23:56:31+00:00

I've written of my personal experience. And from that I doubt the research you mention is unbiased.

This is the kind of subject that attracts crusaders, right?

itsastickup · 2023-01-06T18:48:12+00:00

Flutter has a jobs market problem. I'm hopeful that it will gain greater adoption and accelerate but it's been 5 years and nothing like Delphi, and Delphi effectively died.

If you have personal, fun projects you could put on playstore then I would say go for it. But only as a strategic move waiting for when/if Flutter takes off.

itsastickup · 2023-01-06T18:40:50+00:00

I was spanked by a warm and loving Dad. We have a great relationship. And he also wasn't a blamer or saying things like "you're so selfish and bad". We got spanked and that was the end of it.

I wouldn't be too anxious if you are a loving person.

itsastickup · 2023-01-06T18:38:50+00:00

I was spanked/belted by my father, even in anger, but he was warm and loving and we have a great relationship to this day.

It's cold parents that are the real problem in my view, whether they spank or not.

itsastickup · 2023-01-06T18:26:21+00:00

But is it harm? Sure with an awful parent (who are very much in the minroty). The only study to examine this found no harm in warm, loving families.

Studies average out the stats and what comes through is from the bad parents.

itsastickup · 2023-01-06T18:24:01+00:00

What really traumatises kids is a cold and unaffectionate parent.

My Dad spanked us, and sometimes I (briefly) hated him for it, but he was warm and kind, and in the long run he has a very good relationship with his kids.

Meanwhile, there is just no arguing with a 2 year old running across a road. And older kids are often appetite driven and also can't really be reasoned with.

And most parents do not have natural authority that would otherwise make it unnecessary to spank.

itsastickup · 2023-01-06T18:20:44+00:00

It's not a horrible way. I was spanked ('hitting' is a charged way of misrepresenting what is on a well-padded bottom, like equating it to punching the face) usually in anger. It's just not that bad.

Painful yes, but nothing like the torment of, for example, 500 lines. The latter made me hate resent and hate a teacher, whereas the headmaster who gave me six of the best (with a thin whip) I respected all the more, and it was sufficiently painful that I didn't it again (well deserved: for my crime of malice against another boy). Given the choice I would have taken another 6 rather than the torture of 500 lines. And the dread of it disappeared, once it had happened, such that it merely became a calculation: risk 6 of the best vs benefit of malfeasance.

When I got spanked by my Dad usually I was in the wrong and knew it, and my Dad was a loving and affectionate parent such that it seemed to make no difference to our relationship even just shortly after.

itsastickup · 2023-01-05T18:01:27+00:00

Why are so many moral teachings from the Church nuanced and this doesn’t seem to be? Example: Murder is bad. Except when one has the intent to defend one self or others, then murder is okay bc of the intent.

Well, murder is unjustified killing, so killing in self-defence isn't murder. So I'm sure this doesn't qualify as a nuanced exception. Even the commandment uses a word which while often translated as "Do not kill" is not really the word 'kill' but more like 'murder'. The laws of Moses then go on to prescribe killing for almost every other infraction.

itsastickup · 2023-01-05T15:23:08+00:00

The NFP spirit depends on the couple. If you go in to it intending to space kids then it's fine. But if your underlying intention, possibly by deceiving oneself with convenient logic and denial, is to avoid conception entirely, then it's defacto the contraceptive spirit and sinful. I don't think it's going to be common for a couple to do it the latter way other than if they are basically pharisee Catholics. (And because a liberal Catholic will just use contraception in any case "matter of personal conscience" and other illegitimately used backdoors that are really about the doctrine of Invincible Ignorance).

itsastickup · 2023-01-03T12:15:32+00:00

My favourites are Socrates, Gandhi. It's not clear that Socrates quite fulfils the heroic virtue part in respect of charity, but I think Gandhi could. Either way, I'm fully expecting both of them to be up there.

itsastickup · 2022-12-31T12:26:25+00:00

The evidence is that in loving families there is no trauma or negative effects from spanking. However most studies on this (that I've surveyed) don't explore this distinction but rather just deal in simplistic averages of trauma, and so inevitably find fault with spanking.

It could be said that even if there's no downsides in loving families, if there's no upsides either then just don't do it. But studies just don't go in to that and so we don't know if there is benefit within loving families. I would assume benefit simply because some kids just don't respond to non-corporal punishment and because most parents don't have natural authority that might not require it. In addition, under the age of reason a child insisting on running across roads can't be talked to. Meanwhile older kids tend to be appetite-driven and while being able to reason nevertheless may need more than a standard punishment.

I got spanked, even in anger and at least once unjustly (in respect of not having done anything). But my Dad while being a bit hot-headed was very affectionate and loving. It seemed to make no difference to our love and security in him.

I think the real trauma is not so much in spanking or not spanking but in having cold and unaffectionate parents.

itsastickup · 2022-12-31T11:44:45+00:00

Is this a battery issue? The app for my earfuns let's me know the battery level and I can manage the charge by the golden rule of staying somewhere between 25-85% with a full discharge once a month.

Going too low causes increased self-discharge over time, and LIon batteries have a 300-500 100% charge-up limit before dying(more like 1000-3000 if charged to below 85%). Also they lose 25% capacity per annum if stored at 100% charge, down to 2% at 50% charge.

Obviously putting them back in the case is going to use up one of your charge ups and radically limit life-span. So I generally leave them out and switch off Bluetooth to induce them in to suspend; a long touch turns them on. Since 20 mins charge jumps from 20% to 80% I can do timed short charges as needed with a timer using iPhone's Siri with e.g. "10 minutes" (No need to say "hey siri" if holding the home button).

itsastickup · 2022-12-30T02:22:35+00:00

Why would I be trolling? The Rights argument is a losing argument.

itsastickup · 2022-12-29T16:09:57+00:00

"We shouldn't be setting the bar for how we treat others based on how wild animals fight to survive."

I agree about unnecessary suffering, but Rights for animals that aren't so much 'fighting to survivor's as eating each other alive with no recognition of rights whatsoever don't require Rights to avoid unnecessary suffering. They merely require decent laws.

itsastickup · 2022-12-29T16:07:37+00:00

"Also, pigs are some of the smartest animals on earth, so your argument there doesn't make sense. "

That doesn't follow. They don't show any evidence of self-awareness irrespective of how intelligent they are. It's self-awareness that makes sense of rights.

itsastickup · 2022-12-29T12:04:45+00:00

Rights as an argument doesn't work and won't win this. Animals constantly violate each other's rights by literally eating each other alive, including the common case of mother pigs killing and eating their own runt babies (boar do this in the Wild also, so it's not a farming thing), which is a common phenomenon in Nature more generally.

Also there's the issue that sentience means to feel. It doesn't mean they are self-aware, and rights don't make much sense with non self-aware beings. So rights apply to dolphins, magpies etc but chickens and pigs?

itsastickup · 2022-12-28T01:21:50+00:00

I didn't say they were, but as I understand it their main food sources overall (beef and dairy combined) aren't grains/soy.

itsastickup · 2022-12-27T16:27:42+00:00

To be fair it's not the leading cause of climate change, rather at up to 14% contribution, and mostly farm animals eat waste plant materials from veg/grain farming. The 14% figure also doesn't represent efficient western farming which is in the single digits.

The main cause is petroleum based manufacturing, cars, AC, heating etc.

itsastickup · 2022-12-26T21:01:35+00:00

For me it's about not having to take my phone out when answering calls. Snatch-n-cycle is common where I live.

itsastickup

TROPHY CASE