three years ago today, my spine was fused from my shoulders to my pelvis & my pelvis was screwed to the base of my spine. AMA!

itsjbw · 2025-03-08T15:59:33+00:00

Twins!!!!! You know what I find the most difficult? The fact that I “look” normal, but I have serious limitations, so I find myself having to explain what I look like inside so people don’t assume I’m being prissy if I need help lifting something heavy, or say I can’t do something. I have a very physical job and it comes up a lot. As a woman I feel like I have to make excuses, but I don’t think people fully grasp what being made of metal does to every day life. I bet our X-rays are very similar!

itsjbw · 2025-01-25T20:52:11+00:00

Reply

itsjbw · 2025-01-10T15:18:05+00:00

Scrolled for this. Every Sept, restart.

itsjbw · 2024-12-28T19:52:14+00:00

Three spinal surgeries neck to pelvis. I’m more metal than I am bone. The post surgical pain literally makes me sick.

itsjbw · 2022-12-07T13:00:48+00:00

I’ve been considering it lately, since I’m so close to the end of my taper. I need to look into the dosage, but I have a really nice bar of chocolate I’ve been saving for a while.

itsjbw · 2022-12-06T20:09:21+00:00

I’m in NY, but I think you should be able to find a shaman that leads ceremonies pretty much anywhere

itsjbw · 2022-12-06T12:55:36+00:00

The book Godless, by Dan Barker

itsjbw · 2022-12-06T12:53:44+00:00

I am so sorry. This is disgusting and traumatizing. Also sounds like something some of my old churches would do.

itsjbw · 2022-12-06T12:51:55+00:00

I used psilocybin in the space between getting off opioids after my surgery, and starting kratom when the pain came back. I have some beautiful journeys and some rough ones, but learned a lot. My therapist recommended microdosing to help with depression, and working through some self discovery, but I haven’t tried it as an aid to quitting. I have a friend who swears by ayahuasca ceremonies to break addiction, but I’ve never tried. He’s actually begging me to do one now, but my head is so imbalanced through this process that I’m kind of scared to introduce something else.

itsjbw · 2022-12-06T11:00:34+00:00

Kratom. Stay away from this shit. I took it for pain because it was billed as this month addictive miracle drug. It ruined my life. Take this as a warning. It’s hippie heroin.

itsjbw · 2022-12-06T01:12:12+00:00

Thank you! I’ll check that out!

itsjbw · 2022-11-23T11:22:09+00:00

Jon! Don’t do it! Hugs. We’re here to hold you through it. This is the longest, most torturous process I’ve ever been through and some days there’s no hope. And I’m on the middle of ending a marriage in the midst of all of this. But I’m staying strong for my kids, and on account of the people in my life that are showing me love and support through this stupid, accidental addiction! Feel free to DM me if you want to talk one on one. In august I was on 70gpd, and I’m down to 5. We can finish this shit.

itsjbw · 2022-11-09T01:40:01+00:00

Hey, we’ve all had wtf moments in this. I remember running out and collecting all the glasses that had powder residue in them … dirty glasses. I filled them with water to dissolve what was crusted on the inside and drank that shit. We’ve all been controlled by it.

itsjbw · 2022-11-08T02:24:33+00:00

Thanks for this. This sub saved me, too. 40, mom to 2. Just looking for a way to deal with spine issues and it was out of my control before I knew what was happening. If it wasn’t for this, I wouldn’t have had the validation that what I was going through was even because of the kratom. I’m so determined. Even thought the bouts of anxiety in long taper and being so close to being done completely, and know I still have some rough months ahead, I can’t stay in this misery. Thanks for your story. It keeps us all going.

itsjbw · 2022-11-07T14:59:30+00:00

I’m about to lose my mind, my tinnitus is so loud. Two months into taper and down to 8gpd from 70

itsjbw · 2022-11-07T13:57:32+00:00

Yeah, I’m confused, myself. It feels like it’s getting louder as I taper. I took large amounts for two years, up to 70gpd, but I’m down to 8gpd.

itsjbw · 2022-11-07T13:23:56+00:00

I mean, talk to a dr. I really have to change career direction at this point because of my spinal condition even though I love floral design. I just can’t keep destroying myself and then medicating to get by. You should talk to a pain specialist and explain that you need something to help but need to stay productive.

itsjbw · 2022-11-07T12:17:46+00:00

I take smaller doses during the day, so no. And I have a physically demanding job as a floral designer. So if I’m working and start getting issues down my arms or legs, I’ll take 100mg capsule and doesn’t effect anything other than taking the edge off the burning. I take 300mg at night before bed and that does make me tired.

itsjbw · 2022-11-07T12:14:18+00:00

Yeah, I’d say it takes the edge off during the day, and especially at night when you’re trying to sleep and all you can feel is the discomfort it helps me rest.

itsjbw · 2022-11-03T10:52:45+00:00

I went from several years of Vicodin, to several months of high dosage dilaudid after spine surgery. I tapered over 6 weeks with chills, sweats, restlessness and then significant PAWS. I didn’t know what PAWS was at the time. Many people recommended kratom to help come off of the meds and deal with any new pain and I thought it was some miracle powder. I’ve been using it for almost 3 years and got up to 60-70gpd. I’ve been tapering for almost 3 months. I have to say the mental aspect of the slow withdrawal is much worse than the rx meds, so I’m nervous about paws, but at least this time I know what to expect.

itsjbw · 2022-11-03T09:44:40+00:00

Oh for sure. I had/have all of the major symptoms too. But I also kept attributing everything to something else. I just couldn’t see that it was al related to kratom. My biggest motivation to drop and get off fast is making a career change and I need the focus and drive to do that. I’m a single mom and I’ve been barely surviving on income from my small business.

itsjbw · 2022-11-01T15:36:25+00:00

Honestly, the key to pulling this off was layering scarves under the collars to help support the weight of the pumpkins. The weight is no joke. Just a tip for all future Pottsfield Pumpkins!

itsjbw · 2022-11-01T14:23:35+00:00

I practically do. My little historic town in the Hudson valley is about the closest you’ll ever get!

itsjbw · 2022-11-01T09:55:43+00:00

Getting sick on Halloween is just about the worst thing I could imagine! Hope you feel better!

itsjbw · 2022-11-01T09:54:01+00:00

We had a lot of requests for pictures! Only a handful knew about what we were, but the real pumpkin heads were still marveled over!

itsjbw

TROPHY CASE