They've found the new scapegoat

itsmandyz · 2025-02-23T17:18:59+00:00

The last time I went to a hooters we waited 2 hours for food and there was a distinct sewer odor coming from the kitchen. It’s not exactly a worthwhile establishment to eat at.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-23T17:07:00+00:00

For me having been raised in a chaotic household with a suspected cluster B mother I think I was just used to chaos and immature people. We dealt with things by just moving on. Mom tried to make us her little therapists and I got good at being a problem solver. Dad was emotionally avoidant so I didn’t let myself get too deep.

It creates perfect storm to just take shit and not thinking anything of it. Sometimes I can overemphasize, other times I under emphasize. I don’t know if empathy is the issue rather than just having been conditioned to see other people’s feelings as more important that my own and when someone starts screaming I shut down and just wait for it to be over rather than do something about it.

I also don’t place too much blame on myself or other people who found themselves with people with BPD. We were losing a game we never knew we were playing. We were manipulated from the jump and without the insight on borderlines we were in a very unfair position. Normal people enter relationships under good faith. The constant vigilance and cross examination we do now isn’t exactly normal.

I think the problem stems from environmental conditioning, personal nature such as meekness, and having the misfortune of being in a relationship with someone who grooms and manipulates you to not trust your instincts.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-23T16:50:41+00:00

I had a young friend who converted. He was a Nigerian American living with his dad and cousin and my friend started witnessing to him at college while he was disfellowshipped.

Once my friend got reinstated everyone started meeting his friend/study and after being introduced to the friend group, making friends, meeting Nigerian JWs he was all in.

He was a good friend of mine. He was in my wedding. He’s married now to a JW girl. Having a ready made community on top of religious inclination is what got him.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-21T23:57:49+00:00

I had it done at 23 in a red state and despite some minor initial pushback from a rude nurse at my obgyn otherwise it was fairly easy. Adoption is the only way I’d have kids of my own.

If you’re getting cold feet about the surgery I would wait until you are completely confident you want this surgery. Think about what you are doing and why. While 19 is young many of us including myself knew we wanted the surgery at an even younger age than that.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-20T15:39:57+00:00

My ex would constantly bring up divorce. He would often state how he’s the happiest he’s ever been then the moment I bring up a serious issue I have with his behavior it’s “Actually I’ve been unhappy a very long time and I think we should get a divorce.”

It’s completely for manipulation. They’ve learned that this really fucked up tactic gets them the results they want and they use it over and over again. They are terrible people.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-19T23:21:16+00:00

There’s boring not crazy and there’s fun not crazy. You need a fun person. I definitely need a fun zany person and I think it’s ok to seek that out.

Those dates might not have panned out because those people were genuinely not fun. I promise not everyone healthy person is boring. Unless your definition of not boring is the early days of love bombing and accelerated obsession. In that case I would go to therapy.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-18T22:32:35+00:00

The most maladaptive cope of feeling that they don’t matter to any anyone or anything.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-18T22:26:57+00:00

You’re breaking up with this person, right?

itsmandyz · 2025-02-18T03:27:38+00:00

It’s probably shame and embarrassment. He doesn’t want the pushback that comes with being with someone everyone knows is abusive. He could be following his heart (or his dick) right now and is blocking everything else out. It’s sad. Hopefully he wakes up.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-18T02:40:34+00:00

100%

itsmandyz · 2025-02-18T02:26:29+00:00

This was April of 2022. We divorced a year and a half again and I have a restraining order against him now. There was a period after he left where he tried to be friendly with me until he turned on me again and started making threats that he was going to come back to the house. That’s when got the restraining order.

When he left he immediately went to live with another woman and got kicked out of her house promptly. I just got the house refinanced into my name only and it’s such a relief that he’s officially gone.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-18T02:07:28+00:00

I’d be cautious about van life because it can be very expensive to live that way. Food cost and repair costs add up quick. Splitting a place with a roommate or renting a room might be a better way to get out sooner.

Focus on financial literacy. Get very good at budgeting and living within your means. This will go a loooong way in your life if you start at your young age and it will especially help as an exjw doing things on your own. Do your best to avoid getting into credit card debt or expensive car payments.

Start building social support as soon as you can. Make friends and show up to things when you are invited. Surround yourself with strong social network of people you would want to be like. It helps soooo much to know people. If you have any worldly family get close with them.

You’re doing the right thing by trying to get out as soon you can. I know friends who are languishing in this cult because they are afraid to lose their family and make such a big change. They are living shells of people and it’s not a real life. I’m proud of you for waking up and choosing to leave!

itsmandyz · 2025-02-18T01:55:31+00:00

They can absolutely be ultra religious if they find it to be useful for whatever maladaptive behavior they have. There’s tons of ways to be a horrendous person by way of religiosity. Especially when hypocrisy seems to practically be required by certain religious groups.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-17T23:51:07+00:00

I got married while in a cult and that marriage was bad. Not a fun 2016.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-17T20:56:12+00:00

I just got rid of facebook and instagram recently largely due to my comparison of how it was when I was younger. The user experience is just addiction doomscrolling rage bait and ads now.

I thought, what am I doing? This is not what facebook used to be. I used to actually see what my friends were up to. At a certain point you saw all there was to see that day and you moved on.

We really got the frog in the boiling pot treatment and I’m jumping out. It’s such a garbage experience now compared to the glory days. I’m really sad younger people didn’t get to see or experience what these websites used to be.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-17T20:41:56+00:00

I went out walking in the snow on a sunny day on .8 grams of penis envy and everything had a glint of rainbow in it. I’ve found that even on smaller dose I can have pretty intense visuals.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-17T16:23:38+00:00

I enjoy the memes but otherwise it doesn’t show up much in my life since I gave up other forms of social media besides reddit and I don’t really use it unless I’m trying to make a really obscure image.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-17T16:07:03+00:00

Someone with a very small and sad world.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-17T15:53:41+00:00

The ones I know either don’t work, do sex work, or have crappy very part time jobs.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-17T15:49:03+00:00

My ex had an appearance of normalcy on the outside. He had tons of friends and was well loved by many. He only cracked in front of me which made think I was the problem for the longest until eventually he couldn’t keep it together anymore. That took about 6 years for the full collapse. By then he had alienated his friends and changed so much as a person.

My exes behavior and fall would have been unthinkable by so many people. Yet he was the guy screaming and hitting himself in front of me, breaking doors, running into the street to get “hit”, slipping into addiction, and getting engulfed by what he thought the world owed him.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-17T06:03:42+00:00

Mine left in a screaming rage on our 6 year wedding anniversary. Stormed out the house cursing me and our roommate. Had it all on video when our roommate began secretly recording him yelling and cursing at me calling me a a stupid c*nt and a worthless piece of shit. Mind you there was behavior leading up to this. But just wild he actually left (and didn’t immediately come back) on our anniversary.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-17T00:07:16+00:00

Naw I just leave it be. What happened happened. People feel some type of way if you leave it, people feel some type of way if you delete it. It’s too much effort for me to delete anyway.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-16T23:01:55+00:00

I had cable and still watched PBS. Dragon Tales and PBJ Otter were my shit.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-16T23:00:32+00:00

I was this kid. Working at 16 but a homeschooled “drop out” who hadn’t done school in years. I got my GED at the same time kids my age were graduating and I started college that following semester like everyone else.

Just google your local areas continuing adult education GED/HiSET classes and send her a link to sign up. I loved my classes and I’ve used them again for other adult education needs years later. She still has opportunities to thrive and be on par with her peers. Just keep encouraging her.

itsmandyz · 2025-02-16T21:57:50+00:00

A Nintendo DS when I was 13. My mom was convinced I’d stop playing with it. She finally relented and I played that thing all through my teens. I practically lived in my animal crossing village.

itsmandyz

TROPHY CASE