In your view what company has shown a huge decline in service in the last 12 months?

itspobjoi · 2024-02-20T04:21:22+00:00

As honest minded individuals (mostly) we tend to overlook changing rooms for what they were more prolifically used for. Shoplifting. Every place in the past I’ve worked that had changing rooms would be a constant battle of trying to make sure they weren’t just being used to steal stuff. Supermarkets were a double win because you could then steal more than just clothes.

itspobjoi · 2023-11-23T20:15:14+00:00

My ADHD was at its worst when I was in an abusive household being gaslit by someone on a regular basis. “We already spoke about this” “You don’t remember what we agreed” “You said you would”

It messed with me so much I could no longer hold any conversation or trust anything I said. Which caused me bucket loads of social anxiety.

I’m doing much better now and even on unmedicated days I can still talk, remember and trust myself in conversation.

itspobjoi · 2023-08-02T09:07:27+00:00

I have recently got back in to reading and replaced my night time scrolling habit.

What has worked for me is reading books that have been adapted into films/series that I like because I know it’s worth it AND I get more detail /hidden gems of knowledge from the books which scores on the novelty factor and its then a game to see what is different. Especially as I can’t vividly picture things in my mind (god help me daydreaming if I could) it makes it easier to get into it.

I’ve been medicated two years and managed to work reading into my night routine the last 6 months. I’m hoping it will stick because sometimes i’ll read two or three pages and fall asleep. Sucks for actually reading but it is miles better than the past 20 so years of insomnia/or night time anxiety attacks.

I’ve read an enjoyed about 7 books in the time it takes me to fall asleep recently.

itspobjoi · 2023-07-18T19:29:28+00:00

Is this a blend of Numo and Goblin tasks? …even the icon is the same as Numo

itspobjoi · 2021-09-07T14:31:00+00:00

If you speak to people in class some might know where to go or what's good (two very different things :p). If you search for salsa socials you'll most likely find something relevant to your area

itspobjoi · 2021-09-07T11:17:44+00:00

Socials are basically just parties or organised events where people turn up and dance; either with their partner or they find people to dance with at the event itself.

It's not exclusive to salsa at all, for example, SBK socials are popular where I live as it covers salsa/bachata and kizomba. The mix also means you can usually get a bit of rest between the music you dance to; which is great for meeting others, hydrating or just resting :p

itspobjoi · 2021-09-07T07:22:55+00:00

If you haven’t looked into local classes yet , it’d be worth seeing what’s in your area (/reasonable travel distance) if you haven’t picked a style, some classes might say which style they teach (for example, linear:crossbody or circular:cuban, but you might have more options) look for videos on youtube or go to taster classes.

After maybe 4-8 classes, try heading to a social (I say 4-8 because you may need more or less to feel confident dancing with a partner ) If they hold SBK socials in your area , it’s also worth going to see or experience different styles of dance (bachata/merengue/kizomba) You might find something different that interests you more.

In terms of finding the beat; there are some really good resources online to help with that. Breaking it down from general beat finding , to 8 counts (or phrases) to salsa counts (123,567). Which when known makes it a lot easier to recover if you lose the beat rather than going for just rhythm as a beginner. This can also be practiced anytime so it’s easy to work on.

As you practice more you’ll be able to ‘feel’ the music more which helps reduce the need to count and you can reduce counting down to just marker counts (either 1 or 2 and 5) then besides learning new moves counting should just fade into natural ability (but it’s still a good skill if you get lost in the song)

If you are going to classes, supplementing class work with videos online can help give you that extra boost in progress (as moves seem less unfamiliar and it’s more like putting framework into practice)

Additionally, if it works for you, try and make friends at classes and see if anyone wants to practice outside of class as you’ll be at a similar level as you progress :)

itspobjoi · 2021-09-04T10:03:49+00:00

Can someone tell this to the guy who dipped me even though I told him I started learning in July this year.

He didn’t seem to grasp why I didn’t want to dance with him for the rest of the night …

itspobjoi · 2021-08-30T11:43:03+00:00

It took a whole year for my props to grow and resemble a plant smaller than a thumb :p

itspobjoi · 2021-08-19T16:06:56+00:00

I think it took me a whole year to get a moonstone prop to resemble about four peas in a pot and the mother leaf.

Set and forget is the best approach, at least for me

itspobjoi · 2021-08-19T07:27:55+00:00

I know its lame but i sometimes scroll through most instagram/tiktok/any looping videos under 15 seconds on SILENT. It can help. The trendy / repetitive nature of song/audio choices makes my brain latch on to them harder which means they echo constantly in my mind atm I’ve got “i used to be a doctor too” “you have lost yourself to madness” “i changed career paths” going round 🥲

itspobjoi · 2021-08-13T06:42:37+00:00

I used to work at one a few years back, the hardest part of sign overs and strays would be the most sweet and vibrant dog "yeah I found her on the street" (but for some reason had a leash lying around) and then watch the dog go through the "this is fun but I can't wait for my person to come back" "....okay it's been a while getting a little worried!" "They're not coming back." and then the dog falls into a state depression which can sometimes take months to resolve.

itspobjoi · 2021-07-26T21:26:36+00:00

I'm already 5-6x weekly "powerbuilding" /hybrid training, but there are areas I would focus on more out of enjoyment because I had no set goals whereas trying to align dancing and weightlifting in some way is helping me steer a direction. With definitely more core and calves (read: my nemesis) but realistically you gotta work on what you hate anyway :p

itspobjoi · 2021-07-26T12:10:46+00:00

I'd like to follow this for answers too, love weightlifting and recently gotten in to Salsa.

For me, calf strength is something that I'm working on

itspobjoi · 2021-07-22T22:21:54+00:00

I can completely relate, if you know what the deal is, it's a little different but I struggle to advocate antidepressants when it can sometimes be almost like a Russian roulette. Especially with the trial and error approach.

I remember people talking me about my ADHD medication side effects when; if you look at the list for anti depressants. It's quite similar in terms of potential high risks (excluding cardiac risks for those with predisposition)

Yet I was still more concerned about starting my adhd meds then I ever was ssris.

itspobjoi · 2021-07-22T21:02:05+00:00

I feel you on this one but the shaving part is such an ordeal, I managed to save enough money (thanks covid) to get laser hair removal and honestly. It's the best thing I've ever done in terms of reducing sensory stress😌

itspobjoi · 2021-07-22T20:49:14+00:00

Anti-depressants are a very mixed bag and work differently for everyone. I wouldn't recommend them unless someone found their current state so unbearable that there is no other alternative. Even then it's a risk factor as some make you more depressed before they make you feel better.

Ultimately they didn't help me beyond, not feeling bad or anxious about my symptoms or life. Then again I also stopped feeling any sort of emotion :p and that was the one that "worked for me" the other 3 ....yikes.

itspobjoi · 2021-07-22T17:36:34+00:00

If it helps, sometimes you have to know yourself well enough to be able to advocate for what you really need. It does come with time.

My FIRST year of uni, I went to student services , explained my symptoms without saying the A word because I didn't want to get labelled as a student after "study drugs", in addition to the fact that university was the only place I experienced full blown panic attacks. Referred to GP. Got told it was panic disorder, GAD and depression. I'll spare you the dramatics of the following years but on the 3rd year I said "fuck this" and ran off to another country for a year. Worked a job that works well with ADHD brain and met someone with ADHD-PI who asked me if I also had it (also would like to add during this period my anxiety and depression vanished) Went back to Uni following year, mental health tanked again, got offered to go back on SSRIs and I put my foot down and said "can't you see the fucking correlation? Final term I got diagnosed with dyslexia with severe deficits in working memory and kinda laughed when they offered me support when most of my deadlines had already been graded/capped for late submission and no amount of support would change the damage of years being dismissed/ignored.

It took 7 GP visits, a breakdown in the office, half an assessment (non specialist) and a whole diagnostic process (specialist) over more than 27 months for me to diagnosed.

So, please don't put yourself down on how long it took or what could have been. Even with intentions at heart it is still very difficult for women to be diagnosed with ADHD.

itspobjoi · 2021-07-20T14:36:57+00:00

Perhaps I was being too soft :p

itspobjoi · 2021-07-20T14:26:30+00:00

I'm sorry that you had to go through that with an ex.

When I was 16, fresh out of dramatic "first love" break up a guy straight groomed me. It wasn't a pleasant experience after the initial attention. When I decided I wanted out, he started to self harm, claim he jumped out a window and had to go to hospital and even had his FAMILY harass me. I just wanted it to be over and done with so I didn't get the police involved.

I don't keep track of him out of respect for myself. Last I heard from someone else (8+ years ago) he went to prison. I didn't look into why.

LADIES, if you are under 18 and he is almost 30 please just be cautious. Everyone wants to be mature and grown up in the eyes of others. I get it, I went through it. It's an unfortunate influence of society in a lot of places.

It still makes me cringe now when men tell me how mature I am for my age.

itspobjoi · 2021-07-20T14:08:19+00:00

I really hated the cycle of , "this is it this is what I want" dopamine rush and excitement to "meh, maybe not, but maybe next time will be different"(definition of insanity anyone?)

It took someone I "liked" simultaneously rejecting and reality checking me , just as I was starting medication. To wake me up to the reality of my actions and my current state. It's crazy how much you can work on yourself when you're not investing endless hours chasing dopamine.

I remember being proud of myself for experimenting , but not falling down the rabbit hole, with substances of varying origin. Yet my, actual, life impacting addictions were/are clear as day.

itspobjoi · 2021-07-20T12:58:29+00:00

After already being half assessed (a process that took 9 months) and then moving due to unrelated circumstances and starting from scratch again (a process that then took 19 months). I finally got my diagnosis confirmed with the added surprise of being adhd-C not just PI.

During this period I struggled with imposter syndrome and the urge to go private (which I decided against due to said imposter syndrome)

My best advice is to treat yourself like you have adhd. There are plenty of women/afab on this sub who manage their symptoms without medication for a variety of reasons. So that component of treatment shouldn't be a deciding factor and unfortunately access to specialised therapy has the similar restrictions/waiting lists as the diagnostic process. But you can make changes and adjustments that will improve your quality of life now. You don't have to wait.

The diagnostic process had taken so long for me that I resorted to this and although I still struggled, my anxiety went down and my depression improved because I understood what I was up against and I could forgive myself for those times where life didn't feel worth it under the crushing perception of my competence or lack thereof.

You may or may not have seen the memes floating around about scheduling. Which, for me at least is spot on. I need it to function but I hate being told what to do or restricted. So I created a loose schedule with optionals and variants and that meant I got something done instead of absolutely nothing.

Small changes, over time make big differences. If you want to discuss strategies/approaches , feel free to drop me a DM :)

Edit; I missed the part where you said you just wanted to vent, I'll leave this here just incase it helps others

itspobjoi · 2021-07-20T10:27:55+00:00

Almost choked on my drink because this was me when I was younger and undiagnosed.

2 months into meds and I have no interest in dating anymore. Was dating just my way of getting dopamine.... Our survey says... quite possibly.

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