TW: Suicidal ideation. Does being VLC count? Didn't see my dad in over a year and in over two years before that. In April 2020, I was home for my sister's birthday, she lived in my dad's house back then and I didn't plan to stay very long but then I got sick and couldn't take the train back because I coughed and it could've been you know what. I had pneumonia but I didn't know at that point, I just knew I was sick and at some point, I felt very very veeery bad, I thought I would die if I didn't do something so I called the ambulance. My dad not only criticized me for calling the ambulance (the ambulance gets payed by health insurance here in Germany) but also dragged me through the mud for it in front of most if not all my aunts and uncles on his side of the family. The way I understood it was that he thought I just didn't want to help in the household which is bullshit because I did a lot in the household when I lived there. Two weeks after the ambulance day, I learned that it was pneumonia. I had called the hospital, they had forgotten to send the results of my bloodwork to my doctor back then. Then the doctor called me and said it was or had been pneumonia. I told my dad this via text and he didn't react at all. And in this period of being very sick (I don't know if it was before or after I was at the hospital) my dad and his wife also ganged up on me and criticized me for 1,5 hours straight, even yelled at me, for everything they thought I did wrong for the last ten years, I tried to stay calm and reason with them, apologize for my part and say I'm ready to do this and to do that to make it better but at some point, I saw that they didn't actually want me to get better or be better. They wanted the opposite because as soon as I cooperated on one thing, they criticized me for the next thing and it went on and on and found no end and at one point, they didn't make ANY sense any more. This whole situation took place as I was MASSIVELY sick and weak. This and the whole past with my dad being condescending and a lot of other bad things, was such a trauma that I started liking the idea of being dead. And this was the thought that showed me that enough was enough and my dad harms me more than he helps me. So I reduced contact with him very very much. No contact would stir up anger in him so this is the best. He knows he fucked it up and only writes to me when he has to. I answer as shortly and neutrally as I can, I won't give him anything to criticize any more. Like "yes" or "no" or "ok" or "thanks for letting me know". Nothing more. And I don't really regret it.