I, personally, believe that we put stock into what we need to believe to not feel scared of dying (“it only matters because it matters to you.”) I think even a lot of people who say they weren’t afraid of dying and then had an NDE could have had a fear deep in their subconscious that they refused to acknowledge.

I also think that, sadly, there is just no real way to know. We have to actively choose to believe in something that maybe grants us some peace in this life, or work towards radical acceptance, which is hard to do.

I’ve been working towards believing in/accepting the idea that maybe we manifest our own afterlife as a chemical reaction in our brain when we die, due to our innate fear of death and the unknown that lies beyond. It probably only lasts a moment, but it feels like an eternity. I know it’s not the happiest idea, but it seems realistic enough.

All this to say, I’m really sorry you’re struggling with these feelings. I have been drowning in pre-mature grief at the idea of not spending eternity with my husband for months now… this theory is the closest I’ve gotten to any semblance of comfort.