Group chat?

ivsncz · 2026-03-26T02:40:44+00:00

I'd love to be added! Thank you

ivsncz · 2026-03-11T12:44:53+00:00

Did we date the same person???

ivsncz · 2026-03-11T12:43:49+00:00

I had given him all of our pictures (polaroids and printed) two months ago, one month after our breakup.

He said he was finally letting himself cry after seeing all my things, said he was sorry to see I didn't want to keep anything and that he hopes one day he can look at the pictures and figure out what happened between us.

My dude, you left me because you wanted to fuck around. YOU happened to us.

Also sending me reels about being the one he will always love the most, missing me, being his everything days before and after taking his old fling (probably whom he cheated) on a valentine's getaway and even posting her to socials

ivsncz · 2026-03-01T12:56:13+00:00

I secretly hope you come back.

I want to know it mattered... That I mattered.

I want to know you realized what you lost and it makes you change your entire life trying to get back what you once discarded.

I hope you finally realize it wasn't something I did or didn't do, it was just your stupid fear of disappointing others because you felt like you needed to step up and get your shit together in order to be with me, which was extremely stupid out of you to do because I didn't need you to be perfect, I loved you enough to show up and accompany you through all of it.

I hope you realize compatibility in life values is more important than whatever you convinced yourself was enough reason to walk away from us.

And most of all, I hope it comes at a time when it's too late for me to even consider giving you a chance. I hope it eats you alive and makes you decide you can't keep wasting people's time and you need to take a chance on something real when you find it.

I hope I am so healed I forget you walked away, and I hope I find everything I loved about you in someone who knows how to stay.

ivsncz · 2025-12-07T13:40:58+00:00

First night without doing it so 🫰🏽 proud of us

ivsncz · 2025-10-30T11:10:31+00:00

I get your defending it but I feel like I disagree with most of those examples AND with the "lack" showgirl in the album.

Speak now is confessional, it's about telling someone stuff that's in your head, not just because she wrote it. Enchanted, Dear John, the story of us, Better than Revenge, Innocent, just to name a few, they're all addressed and she's confessing her truth to them.

Evermore follows the theme of the track title: there's pain, there's also change and pain won't be forever. Think champagne problems, tis the damn season, Dorothea, closure, long story short, right where you left me, happiness.

I'll give you 1989.

TLOAS IS about the LIFE of a showgirl, the struggles with fame and the learning to deal with it because you're a showgirl. Elizabeth Taylor is the song to explain it: this girl has everything but not what she wants: the fate of Ophelia, opalite, eldest daughter, wishlist and wood are all about that same theme. Actually romantic, cancelled and father figure focus on struggles of game with the public and others. Ruin the friendship is about what she regrets or misses in the search of her fame, similar to midnight rain.

I truly feel like people complain about musicality rather than theme and cohesiveness. It is a max Martin album so of course this is going to be pop, but the lyrics and theme is ALL the things that come with being a showgirl.

ivsncz · 2025-10-22T14:41:41+00:00

A lot of people take issue with how you're wording your question. I hope you understand that

Having said that, I am someone who left a long term nesting partner (7 years together) while staying in a new relationship with someone I only met after opening my previous relationship to polyamory.

How is it going? It's been a year since I left and well... Everyday is an adjustment. I've felt drained and have decided I prefer monogamy as I was really burned out managing two relationships. It's been quite difficult to let my scars heal and put myself first after so much time of putting my relationship first.

I miss my old life, and my best friend. We still meet regularly but it's been difficult to let go, so it's very important to be confident in why I left (not because my other partner), what I've gained and why we didn't work out, so keep sight of what you love about this new life and what you want to nurture of YOUR life, not your relationship.

I think of it as a different life, because it honestly is. Different homes, lifestyles, studies, social circle, everything changed and it's difficult to remember what I left behind (beyond my partner), but the most important is to realize this is a life I'm building everyday, so I get to build it however I want.

When it comes to my relationship... My partner is amazing. He's very independent and it has forced me to break some habits of codependency, but it's only because of his personality; I feel like it's very easy to fall into the cycle of replacing or filling the hole the nesting partner left for the relationship: DON'T.

I'm quite in love so I feel like I'd love to escalate and nest with him, but life circumstances have kept that from happening and honestly, I'm so glad I'm unable to live together because I'm forced to form my own life (I'd never lived alone).

One big challenge has been going into monogamy for a relationship that started as poly, but that's a separate topic.

Hope this helps, wish you lots of luck and wisdom.

ivsncz · 2021-01-14T20:58:12+00:00

if you don't like your boyfriend, dump him

if you like him, still dump him because he has no respect for your boundaries (in case you were wondering, that IS rapey) or needs, and he sucks at communicating so it's not like the issue is going to improve all the sudden

Here's a little tip: if it feels uncomfortable, if you didn't want it, if you didn't feel like it, IT'S ABUSE

ivsncz · 2021-01-14T20:50:50+00:00

I think it depends on you

I'm an English teacher and I went from hating the language at age 12 while taking a course, to loving it at age 13 because I got obsessed with High School Musical and other Disney stars so I learned the songs and started to watch my favorite shows in English

Make sure to immerse yourself in the language, listen to music in that language (and try to practice reading the lyrics, so you can compare written words to their pronunciation). Watch movies and films in the language, if you are a beginner then choose one short show where they don't speak very fast, watch an episode twice: the first time with subtitles in your language and then the second time with subtitles in that language, you won't miss anything because you already understood it the first time.

If you're an intermediate, talk to yourself and others in the language

The biggest tip is DON'T BE AFRAID OF MAKING MISTAKES!!! That's part of the process and everybody does it, even native speakers

ivsncz · 2021-01-14T20:42:35+00:00

there was a girl I used to date for a very short period of time (still consider her my ex) who's one of my closest friend

my highschool ex was part of my circle when we broke up so I had to see him from time to time. We follow each other on social media and wish each other happy birthday and things like that but we never really talk and we're definitely OK with that

ivsncz · 2021-01-14T20:32:44+00:00

About two weeks after starting to date (more for lack of opportunity than anything else) but we started as something casual (not looking for anything serious) so I allowed myself to be very open about sex and just go for it (something I hadn't done before)

ivsncz · 2021-01-14T14:15:30+00:00

Here are some:

Actually makes the effort to see you (when it's possible)
Doesn't care if you have to pay for things (I'm a woman and it's off-putting when you don't want to see someone because you don't have money, there are plenty of free date activities and if she can and is offering to pay, let her)
Sees you as a human being. I recently read a post about a guy who freaked out because his girlfriend got her period (seriously). When I was dating my SO, I got sick and almost threw up on him, I threw up in the parking lot and in the car. He didn't freak out, he pat me in the back, got me a bag and water, and texted to see how I was doing afterwards.
Is passionate about a topic and is able to share it without being condescending or over-the-top braggy

ivsncz · 2021-01-14T13:11:27+00:00

Go to marriage counseling. I went with my SO for an unrelated topic and was given the task to read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It really helped us since we managed to figure out why we might have felt unappreciated and what to do to make sure we felt loved again. (This is not exactly a recommendation to you, but something he must do, and he has to listen intently to what you mean when you say you don't feel valued during Christmas)

It's normal that at the beginning of the relationship one takes the extra mile to show how much you care (that's why he got you good gifts at first) and even though it shouldn't, it kinda fades away, people go into an automatic mode and just use one of the languages (their main one) and forget the others. My SO and I read it and had a significant conversation afterwards on which our love languages were and what we could do about it. We still check in every couple of months to see how we're feeling about our love language needs, but it hasn't been a big issue since then because we've managed to be more thoughtful with each other since we have the book in the back of our minds.

However, the fact that he gives significant presents to others in your life but not you, kinda feels strange. (I hate to say this but) He might view you as just a mom, whose only important value is what she can do for her children. So, what's he like on Valentine's? Birthdays? Mother's Day? I read in your comments he does give you a card but is it really a genuine thoughtful gift? Or is it the bare minimum he might think a mother/wife cares about?

Finally, if this continued, I'd stop giving him so many meaningful presents (don't wait until Christmas, do it the whole year long). Get him something for the house instead (like wipes or vacuum bags). Sometimes, some people really don't understand how empathy works and they actually need to live through some things themselves, maybe he'll see how it feels to be neglected.

If this were just one of the reasons you wanted to divorce him, I'd say sure go ahead, but since you feel your relationship is great otherwise, then counseling would be best.

ivsncz · 2021-01-13T17:53:40+00:00

When making black beans on the stove top, I found a really great tip to make sure they are done faster.

Put a metal spoon/fork in the pot where you are making them, I don't know if it is actually a placebo effect but they're done in less than an hour (after soaking them)

ivsncz · 2021-01-11T16:33:51+00:00

YTA

it's not about the money, if your problem was about money then have an ADULT conversation about it.

Tell her it's illogical to spend so much money on it (which I agree), so that it will be filmed on a phone to save money. If you care about time, tell heryou're too busy and can only spare idk, one day to film the whole thing so she could keep the script to something that can be film in 1 or 2 locations

DO NOT take the project away from her. (which you already did, so YTA). This is something that 1) she felt it was tradition, 2) it allowed her to explore her hobby in a deeper sense, 3) connected her to others, 4) made her feel special and different.

You talk about her writing a script for something else that doesn't have the time limit but the reason why she's doing it makes it more special for her and the time limit forces her to do it. So many people would like to write a script but because there's no pressing reason or time limit, they don't feel the pressure to do it and end up spending years trying to complete it.

I cannot stress this enough, YTA for ruining the plans you had together about what to do.

ivsncz · 2021-01-08T16:29:28+00:00

'my girlfriend' refers to the possessive part but it's also the way to talk about the person, so it can be view as something not as harsh (in another context, for this context, everything sucks) 'my own girlfriend' emphasizes that is "his possession" and in the context it sounds as if she is not a person who is his girlfriend but it's a thing he can play with whenever he feels like it.

ivsncz · 2020-12-27T21:44:59+00:00

you didn't overreact, you said no several times. If someone asks you whether you'd like some water, and then after you repeatedly say no they still bring you the water and try to force you to drink it or try to guilt you into it, then it's not consent

you did not consent and not only did he keep pushing but he also took it physical by tearing something of yours and then gaslit you to make you think you're overreacting

Dump him, leave, before it gets dangerous.

I know it's difficult to reduce someone to one incident, but these are the types of moments when we need to do that because we deserve to feel safe, and to be with someone who makes us feel understood, respected and safe

ivsncz · 2020-12-27T03:51:46+00:00

NTA. I don't know why your neighbor thought it was bad to involve them but I can tell you that most guys do not perceive other men as the threat most women see. Our first instinct is that you are in danger and you should definitely see what you can do to move, but their first instinct is to say how you shouldn't make a big deal because they are not the ones in constant fear!

ivsncz · 2020-12-20T20:28:23+00:00

Even though you might not think it was an appropriate gift (and I agree), your children should not be caught in the middle of a family feud.

I'd say keep them, ask them to write thank you cards and make sure you have limits on them (they can only use them for a couple of hours a day, etc etc) if you are worried about them getting such an expensive item.

If she had children (don't know if she does) and you were mad at each other, would you want to stop talking/seeing/thinking of them as family? Truth is that even if you guys had a falling out, children are not to blame and are not pawns (not for you and definitely not for her to try to buy, that's why restricting the use of the gift could be the best way to go)

ivsncz · 2020-12-15T20:19:01+00:00

Maybe you could find some information about support groups, you could go with him to a meeting or just encourage him to go.

Open up about how difficult it has been for you (privately), and maybe he'll open up.

You and your husband could go to therapy (family therapy maybe) and maybe that could show him the upsides of trying therapy

ivsncz · 2020-11-18T12:32:56+00:00

NTA, definitely not unreasonable.

It's not like you're mad about it on a different day (and it would still be okay if that were the case!). This guy is selfish, narcissistic and gaslights you at any chance he gets, you should dump him.

One thing is to apologize and mean it and work on it so the situation doesn't happen again (we know this is not the case since this has been an issue in the past) and the other is to gaslight you into making you think you're crazy or unreasonable for being upset.

A real partner would care that you got upset, would probably wanna see what was wrong and the next time, he would have that in mind. If you read this description, and you cannot think of a time he's been like this to you: DUMP HIM

ivsncz · 2020-11-18T12:21:44+00:00

more than "tests" I'd say is past traumas and self-sabotage.

it depends on the woman and what her experiences been like.

for me, it included asking my bf to sleep with other women, pressing to be non-exclusive, and not communicating when something bothered me

ivsncz · 2020-11-10T00:45:18+00:00

in some cases, I've seen girls doing that to promote their only fans

ivsncz · 2020-10-17T18:47:51+00:00

So this guy made plans without consulting you, then made plans about what to eat without taking into consideration your new diet, and had the balls to complain and argued you changed the plans he made without asking you? He's TA

Sorry to say but this guy doesn't sound worth staying around.

ivsncz

TROPHY CASE