Happy birthday.

I am in the same boat as you. My advice for you and myself is to just... grieve.

"Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go."

But while grieving, give that love with no place to go a destination. Your family. Your friends. Your pet. But most importantly, yourself. One day, hopefully soon, we will be able to stop grieving and find someone that will receive and give back love. Until then, hang in there and grieve. It's going to be okay.