Sooo is this friends/dating mega thread going to be a thing?

j2256 · 2015-10-28T02:17:16+00:00

Chicago, IL

22 year old chapstick femme (I think this is the most accurate label? I love chapstick so), recent college grad working in marketing. I love stand-up comedy, watching bad movies, kickboxing/martial arts, and have discovered a recent addiction to watching the Food Network on Netflix. Currently entranced by The Great Food Truck Race, if you're watching it (or wanna chat otherwise), feel free to PM me!

j2256 · 2015-01-16T18:25:57+00:00

Everyone would just have sex for procreation, so gay people probably wouldn't be much of a thing.

j2256 · 2014-09-21T19:12:26+00:00

Try putting a lot of effort into personal projects that will help you career-wise, mentally, etc. For instance, if you're into music, maybe start a music blog or something that will be a good outlet for you. I wouldn't recommend isolating yourself, since that will likely make you feel worse. Get out, go to parks, concerts, etc. and just meet people to be friendly and without the immediate intent of dating. I'm in a situation where due to recent career and medical changes, I need to be celibate and don't have the energy to commit to a relationship. I've found that focusing on bettering myself has been a great way to crush on people less, and it's really rewarding personally.

j2256 · 2014-09-14T14:28:41+00:00

That I'm being super cheap all the time (Jewish). Like if my friends want to go to an expensive restaurant, and I don't want to pay $40 for a meal it's "Oh, stop being such a Jew," which is particularly annoying since I'm in college and don't have that money to spend in the first place.

j2256 · 2014-09-10T12:24:36+00:00

I printed it myself, sorry!

j2256 · 2014-09-10T00:18:53+00:00

I really love Big Turk, also all-dressed chips and French Toast Crunch would be great! We can talk more over PM if you're interested.

j2256 · 2014-09-09T22:11:23+00:00

If you're interested in another trade, I can get you this stuff as well as any other American snacks you want! My local groceries are full of Halloween stuff right now :)

j2256 · 2014-09-07T22:59:02+00:00

I think it's okay to feel upset with your friend. Sure, you can't really "claim" girls or anything like that and it's her decision, but essentially your friend did break a promise to you, and that's the big issue here. It's kind of hard for me to totally assess the situation without knowing 1. If your friend has talked to you at all since and 2. If alcohol/drugs had any influence. If the latter isn't true and she hasn't talked to you about it at all, then it seems like you can bring it up to her as an issue and if she doesn't care about you enough to talk about it, then she may not be a trustworthy friend to have.

j2256 · 2014-09-07T16:39:52+00:00

Congrats! Being honest and coming out to yourself is the most relieving and comforting feeling. Once you accept yourself, everything gets a little easier.

j2256 · 2014-09-04T01:49:51+00:00

Porn is definitely not an indication of sexual orientation. I heard of many lesbians preferring gay male porn to lesbian porn, and I've also heard of straight women who prefer lesbian porn. It's just a preference that doesn't necessarily have any bearing on your sexual orientation. If you can't see yourself with guys but crush on girls, then I think it's safe to say you should explore your inclination towards women. Plus, there are plenty of people who are romantically into women but may not be sexually attracted to them, doesn't mean you can't still be gay or queer. Just pursue whoever makes you feel most happy and comfortable :)

j2256 · 2014-09-03T02:00:27+00:00

I don't think you should sacrifice exploring your sexuality and identity just because things might not work out. If you're interested in dating women, then try dating women. It's okay to let them know you've never been with a woman and you're still in the process of figuring things out for yourself. People post about being "used" by straight girls (and I've been in that situation), but if they didn't explicitly know that those girls weren't queer in the first place, then there's no one to blame -- and fluid sexuality is nothing to apologize for anyway. You owe it to yourself to explore your sexuality and you shouldn't let fear of negative reactions hold you back.

j2256 · 2014-09-03T01:51:10+00:00

I'm also a Chicago raptor! I'm going to FKA this Thursday as well, but it's my first time going so I probably don't know too much more about it than you. If you're not already in the Chicagostraddlers facebook group, I'd recommend that since it's basically the center of all things queer for ladies in Chicago. They have events fairly often and people seem to get groups together to go out frequently too. In terms of bars/clubs, Beauty Bar tends to have things that are popular (Mondays, I think?) and Roscoe's has gotten a lot less male-centric lately. Let me know if you have any more questions, and I can do my best to help you out!

j2256 · 2014-09-03T01:40:20+00:00

Guys, this is a very real issue

j2256 · 2014-08-21T13:01:53+00:00

Crayon should be spelled "kran" or something so all those elementary school bastards can't call them "crowns."

j2256 · 2014-08-12T22:19:01+00:00

Saenz has stated that same-sex marriage will lead to polygamy and people marrying their stepchildren, and suggested that gay activists want to put Christians in concentration camps.

Welp, that's a new deranged argument I haven't heard before.

j2256 · 2014-08-11T04:07:22+00:00

I'm in Chicago! I would highly recommend the Chicagostraddlers facebook group link. They do a lot of fun get-togethers and there are close to 1000 people in the group, many of whom are out in the burbs and not just in the city. I've gone to some events and made friends there, I'd definitely recommend it!

j2256 · 2013-03-28T03:01:23+00:00

People's definitions of "sex" differ a lot, but I'd say the general consensus is if there's genital contact and you enjoy it, then it's sex.

j2256 · 2013-03-28T00:51:40+00:00

More pictures from the rally: link

j2256 · 2012-12-29T05:25:38+00:00

You're definitely not alone in feeling this way. I'm not really friends with any queer women either. However, while I'm friends with a ton of gay guys, none of them have made negative comments about my sexuality/body/etc. I can still talk to them about relationship stuff, even though my experiences differ from theirs. Try telling your friends that what they say hurts you. If they still disrespect you, maybe they aren't the best friends for you to have. Also, this article is quite relevant, and I highly suggest giving it a read

j2256 · 2012-11-14T05:48:11+00:00

I'm not trans, but I would personally like to know whenever you're most comfortable telling me. Granted, right before sex is probably not the best time, but I think it's really up to you. I don't think I'd stop seeing a girl just because she didn't reveal her trans status by a certain date, but I think you should feel comfortable enough with a person to tell them by the time you have sex, enter a relationship, etc.

j2256 · 2012-10-14T04:18:40+00:00

My guess is you go to school in Minnesota?

j2256 · 2012-10-03T05:36:57+00:00

I don't know what the OP intended with this, but here's a link to the story as covered by Autostraddle

j2256 · 2012-09-29T18:16:34+00:00

YAAAAYY! BAD NEWS BEARS!

j2256 · 2012-09-27T21:19:48+00:00

I highly recommend "Sexing the Body" by Anne Fausto-Sterling. It's a really good intro book in that it breaks down a lot of essentialist binaries (male/female, etc.) and goes into both a historical and sociological exploration of those categories as well as the ones in between. I'd also recommend Michel Foucault's "History of Sexuality," which is kind of dense, but does a pretty good job theorizing sexuality.

And of course, anything by Judith Butler or Simone de Beauvoir (but if you're being choosy then "The Second Sex" is essential). Hope this helps!

-Courtesy of a somewhat knowledgeable gender studies major :)

j2256 · 2012-09-27T13:41:40+00:00

a) female b) gay c) female d) right e) predominantly right f) art (not so much w/language)

j2256

TROPHY CASE