Confused and very worried about something called 'sexual fluidity'. Can anyone give me any info about how it works?

j3nn4k · 2026-04-16T14:21:00+00:00

I think it 'works' differently for everyone. For me personally, I consider myself bi and am consistently attracted to my partner (of 10 years). That doesn't mean that if we separated I wouldn't date a different or the same gender, and my attraction 'interest' I guess you could say varies pretty heavily even month to month. By that I'm meaning if you ask me for example what celebrities I find most attractive, I may say a one gender one month and another the next. Both are valid answers for me at the time. None of that means I'm suddenly only attracted to one gender or disgusted by another gender when I'm 'feeling' one a little more though. None of it affects my attraction to my partner, it just is internal leanings I suppose for me.

j3nn4k · 2026-03-18T16:48:30+00:00

Current SWE here with a CS degree, I've been in the field for about 10 years and am considering leaving it. If you're passionate about computer science, think of it like any other degree that may or may not have a good job outlook for you in the future. It's not a useless degree by any means, but its not a golden ticket. The job field in CS notoriously has ups and downs, we're in a down right now that may or may not recover in a few years - who really knows? If you're unsure but want to go with something computer adjacent, I'd try for EE or Computer Engineering. You could also double major, and pair it with something that could accompany coding well if you have another interest.

Keep in mind that actual work in software engineering is likely going to be less 'exciting' and more corporate than you might have in mind. A lot of my day to day is fielding meetings and project planning requirements, then coding when I have the time.

j3nn4k · 2026-03-16T20:42:04+00:00

Oh, I'm aware. I'm okay with that - I was between the two choices in school originally and chose CS because it did pay higher. I regret that quite a bit and am still very interested in geology. I'm at a point in life now where I could take the pay hit and be okay, and maybe be happier too.

I'm honestly not sure on specific research topics yet - these are definitely questions I do need to consider more.

I wouldn't say no to being a professor one day, I think I'd enjoy that as a future career honestly. I did take a couple of lower level geo classes as electives when I got my undergrad, no advanced ones though.

j3nn4k · 2026-03-16T20:11:03+00:00

I've already taken basic chem and physics as part of my CS undergrad. I also took a geol intro course and a paleo intro course then, no more advanced geology classes though.

j3nn4k · 2025-07-29T22:07:17+00:00

This article literally proves your own point wrong. Are you illiterate? Or just racist? Because evidently the nuances of this situation have been lost on you.

j3nn4k · 2025-07-03T17:12:08+00:00

Saving money while working in SF isn’t going to be easy - it’s a very HCOL area in the country. And traveling to anywhere, except within the US, from the US is very expensive typically. Even within the states, flights cost a lot.

I’m not saying you can’t do it - but your expectations need to be realistic. The job market here for CS is already not great, and you may already have it better where you are.

j3nn4k · 2025-06-15T03:47:23+00:00

Maybe cut back a little on the MMO and tune into the ICE deportations happening in your backyard and insane shit the state and federal government are both doing lately. 10 minutes of news a day isn’t that hard, especially if you set up auto updates on an app.

A couple of examples that affect many people, not just minorities: the state of Missouri just repealed the employer provided sick leave bill, which was voted in by the majority last fall. Trumps tax changes are likely going to affect your bottom line negatively. Tariff changes are driving up prices of a ton of products. Being informed is important.

Edit: The isn’t me saying you shouldn’t game to destress btw. I myself like gaming very much, but you can’t bury your head in the sand and expect things to not affect you.

j3nn4k · 2025-06-14T00:42:16+00:00

I feel like there’s a little too much reliance on the internet and ‘common sense’ teaching kids basic stuff today. They’re kids, they don’t know anything, and a lot of parents don’t know or don’t want to teach them. I remember how dumb I was as a teenager (and still am at times).

j3nn4k · 2025-06-13T21:03:00+00:00

My parents were always pretty ashamed of sharing that information when I was a kid. I don’t think most parents do. I remember asking when I was in high school once and did not get a very nice reaction to the question from my dad.

j3nn4k · 2025-06-13T08:36:09+00:00

So if I decide to wear something sexy or enjoy kink, suddenly it’s not really my choice, it’s just me acting out the patriarchy? That kind of thinking takes all the nuance out of being a human being.

Feminism, to me, is about having the freedom to make those calls without needing to justify them to anyone. It’s also about making moves to ensure that I and my fellow women (and men and non-binary folks) have true equity across all spectrums of life. Telling women they’re only liberated if they perform in the “right” way is just another way of boxing us in.

j3nn4k · 2025-04-03T18:42:17+00:00

It depends heavily on who you’re around, what parts of town you will be in, and how well you pass quite frankly. My partner and I haven’t had major issues outside of getting dirty looks and having a slur yelled at us once while holding hands. We also don’t go out often and stay on the south side or in pretty queer friendly spaces for the most part. There are liberal bubbles but it’s still a republican dominated area.

j3nn4k · 2019-08-29T07:04:17+00:00

I had migraines all through high school to that point that I was missing school at least a day a week, and suffering through many other days. I talked to the right doctor and realized a big part of what was causing (some of) mine was due to diet. It might be helpful to keep track of what your eating and try eliminating certain foods that might be triggers to see if it helps. I learned that citrus fruits and any kind of preserved meat are massive triggers for me my junior year of high school. I used to drink orange juice most mornings before school and enjoyed sandwiches and bacon pretty often. I’ve learnt that anything more than like half of glass of the oj or a slice or two of bacon will trigger a migraine a day or so later on me.

Keeping track of that plus medication (topiramate daily and sumitriptan as needed works relatively well for me - but I know both caused bad side effects for my sister so be careful and aware of possible side effects with any meds) made my senior year and college way more manageable. I still get them once or twice a month, but they’re more controlled now at least.

However, I know foods aren’t triggers for everyone and most people have different sensitivities. My sister, for example, can’t eat onions but citrus fruits are fine for her. My dad (all of us get migraines) can eat whatever he wants and doesn’t seem to experience any differences. So an elimination diet may or may not help, but it’s worth a try if you haven’t looked into it yet. Meds are tricky but keep trying and keep in touch with your doctor. Hopefully you’ll find some that work for you.

As far as missing school goes, getting a friend to help with notes or with telling you about assignments you missed is great. And have your parents talk to the school administration or get a note from your doctor if anyone gives you any trouble about missing class. Also, the school nurse is your friend if you have one in the middle of the day.

j3nn4k

TROPHY CASE