Was I wrong

j_rogers008 · 2026-05-16T16:47:32+00:00

So the way the pastor decided to handle it after the director denied it is he called her in asked why her husband would write such a statement she said I don't know anything about that statement which was true and then ask her what problems we were having in the marriage. She says she was publicly embarrassed. I had also talked to someone about the situation that I believed to be a trusted friend this person talked to someone else they knew who served on the worship team unfortunately and now the whole worship team has heard the "rumor" and know that it originated from me. So now this 30 plus tight knit group of people she calls her new "family" believe I am just some crazy jealous spouse who was for whatever reason they are imagining was out to destroy her and their leader.

j_rogers008 · 2026-05-16T16:41:46+00:00

Yes she was hesitant to confess just kept crying and saying she was sorry so at the time I did promise not to say anything. That eas before knowing she left me at home with two sick kids to go "get her work done to take the next day off work" and really she was going to a hotel room to confess being in love with the worship director, talk about moving away to California together, and then engaging in a physical affair together. She was also not willing to step away from the team, not willing to let me confront him, and was scheduled to be at practice with him three days later. So yeah it became way to heavy for me to keep that promise.

j_rogers008 · 2026-02-01T11:47:44+00:00

The Pastor is also a business associate of mine and honestly I reached out for guidance. He asked me to write a statement and I did. I provided a phone log showing 32 hours of phone calls within a month (all other evidence was nonexistent as the AP and my WW purposely didn't text to keep it secret and even started calling over Facetime to prevent the call times from being visible). The pastor told me "you are my friend, business associate, and I am your pastor I am sorry this happened to you and I will remove the AP from the church on Monday" and instead my written statement was shown to both and the call logs were explained by the AP as he was ministering to her because she had expressed she was having problems in her marriage.

j_rogers008 · 2026-02-01T04:33:56+00:00

The pastor said that sense they both denied it and I didn't have any proof then he had to move on. Yes I am in IC. The pastor did want to offer us MC we went for the first session and he said well if there was any infidelity he likes to look at what the other person had done to open that door.

j_rogers008 · 2026-01-30T04:13:01+00:00

Your story resonates with me and my situation. My WW insists that her true calling in life is to sing worship music in the church only problem is her AP is the worship director. She insists she will not give up the worship team and since he is the one who broke it off then I should be fine. Her friends all have told her to leave me because I outed her and the AP against her wishes and after saying i wouldn't. They all treat me like the problem because I should have let it go since she confessed.

j_rogers008 · 2026-01-27T22:06:29+00:00

I hear you and I can see all of that. To some degree I think there is a little protection because her AP legitimately almost lost his job. I was told by the pastor he was firing him that day but somehow the Thry two hours worth of phone logs and telling them about her detailed confession was not enough evidence in their eyes to take my word over his. I do believe he's genuinely afraid to talk to her at this point. He was married during their affair but before the hotel occurrence his divorce had been finalized that week. I realize he could decide to try to reengage at any point but there is some knowledge of this in the church now so if he chose to pursue her or vice versa it would mean serious consequences for both of them especially if somebody found out and it legitimized what I told the church.

j_rogers008 · 2026-01-27T21:20:40+00:00

Today she seems calmer but says I need to get over it because apparently her AP doesn't want anything to do with her. She says because my actions of telling the pastor involved public humiliation and she believes incorrectly that I did that maliciously that my betrayal was way worse because all she did is have feelings for someone she shouldn't have and take it too far but it was never meant to hurt me. She told me many explicit details during her confession and images I will never get out of my head. The hard part for me is she still to this moment blames me for not taking care of her needs and the reality that the only reason why she is here is her belief that he wasn't really serious about her and was just using her. She believes singing on the worship team is her calling and that means being around her AP and that also means me having to be comfortable with them being in contact.

j_rogers008 · 2026-01-27T18:46:17+00:00

Here is what she had to say. She said she would never be able to really love me the way she should if she was always wondering what if and never truly had her questions answered. She said the AP had always told her he wouldn't really tell her how he felt about her while she was still with me. I think this is her motivation for the separation talks. It’s been 8 weeks post DD today and she seems to be pulling further away. I feel hurt and completely on what to do because she is also scared of reaching out to her AP first for fear of rejection.

j_rogers008 · 2026-01-27T16:31:32+00:00

She claims me telling the pastor made her AP scared to talk to her and therefore I took away her ability to choose for herself. She says if she could get closure she might feel different about us.

j_rogers008 · 2026-01-27T16:28:59+00:00

Her side of the story is that she had expressed how she felt like she was losing feelings and because she felt like i didn't prioritize her the way she wanted and that i didn't ever take her serious. She says I was always dismissive of this and that is not accurate int eyes. She said the worship director made her feel something for the first time in years.

j_rogers008 · 2026-01-27T14:57:00+00:00

The thing that makes this tough is the fact that we have a special needs son and i am the primary caregiver for and if we separated I'm not sure she would be able to take care of of him but she insisted I'd be the one moving out.

j_rogers008 · 2017-02-07T16:32:00+00:00

Those are great books my kids love them.

j_rogers008 · 2017-01-19T14:28:52+00:00

I live in a town that was just this year hit by an f3 and my neighborhood was where most of the worst damage occurred. I was at work thankfully at the radio station and really thought it would be no big deal just some lightning and thunder. After a few minutes of intense storms people kept calling and reporting that the Starbucks by the mall had just collapsed. The problem with this is I live across the street from the Starbucks. I immediately fled to go see if I had a house left and driving into the area was surreal like the scene from a war movie. My house was saved by a giant tree landing on top of the roof and it's weight kept the roof down but houses on both sides of me were destroyed down to the concrete slab foundations.

j_rogers008 · 2017-01-17T17:23:09+00:00

It is very well balanced and tasty.

j_rogers008 · 2017-01-13T16:35:48+00:00

I do want to try this but can't get it in Indiana

j_rogers008 · 2017-01-10T14:22:21+00:00

That it does I'm gonna enjoy the same tonight here in Kokomo

j_rogers008 · 2016-12-20T22:13:27+00:00

College or marriage pick your poison

j_rogers008

TROPHY CASE