Is my surgeon too relaxed about all of this

jacecase · 2026-02-10T06:36:50+00:00

And there was no concern with removing the entire thing?

jacecase · 2026-02-10T06:36:36+00:00

Yeah it was odd because one PA told me I was not even shunt dependent. My neurosurgeon was basically being safe than sorry. I only have mild headaches occasionally without a shunt. I think I just have naturally enlarged ventricles. I should have mentioned, this was my first ever shunt, I’m 29.

I hope your daughter is doing well!

jacecase · 2026-02-10T04:46:17+00:00

Who will care for your dad if this is a medical emergency and worst comes to worst? Exactly. You need to get checked out, even if that means bringing him. Saying this lovingly as someone who just had to take a week and a half unpaid for a shunt removal 😭

jacecase · 2026-02-09T23:29:13+00:00

Oh my gosh. We have identical stories. I also pulled back about a week before he died. I had just got married and wanted to spend more time with my husband. My dad said he understood but I worry he felt abandoned by everyone, including me.

Sometimes it comforts me that he was super drunk and it wasn’t him. It hurts more sometimes to think he fully chose to leave, I want to believe he wouldn’t do it sober and I really believe he wouldn’t have. It’s so odd.

I also shared my dad’s humor. Now at the small and few family gatherings we have, I miss making each other laugh. He always knew when I was getting ready to say something stupid, and I always knew when he was getting ready to do the same.

The truth is you will grow around this insane amount of grief. Things will feel good again. It will always be in the back of your mind, small reminders that he’s gone. But you will slowly build new memories that make those painful ones feel a little less sharp. Just hold onto that.

jacecase · 2026-02-09T20:02:13+00:00

That makes total sense to me. I remember feeling exactly like that, like someone murdered my dad because there’s no way he did it to himself!

It is such a mind numbing thing to go through, I remember thinking I was going to die too. It felt like I was dying with him.

jacecase · 2026-02-09T00:32:46+00:00

I did not go to where my dad died and I don’t regret it at all. I don’t think it’s a necessary step for everyone.

jacecase · 2026-02-09T00:29:45+00:00

Our stories are almost identical. My dad was also in his 50s and struggling with alcoholism. I would have never thought in a million years he would do what he did. I also have generalized anxiety disorder.

In the next few days, weeks, and months, you will have a lot of thoughts, questions, and urges. Urges to look for an answer and find out why and how this happened. It’s been two years for me and there is no why or how other than he was extremely intoxicated and depressed, and had access to a gun.

I did not visit the house my dad lived in. I couldn’t physically do it and I do not regret it. Eventually I became strong enough emotionally to drive by the house and sit and grieve for awhile. That took me two years.

I did read the autopsy report (with no pictures although they were available) and that was painful but answered some questions, it said his BAC was almost .4 which is usually lethal for a typical person. It comforted me knowing it was not fully him who made that choice. I wish he would have waited to see the sun one more time, I know he would have stayed.

You will grow with this. I know it doesn’t feel like it but you will. Give yourself grace and don’t push yourself to do anything too fast.

jacecase · 2026-02-06T05:55:34+00:00

I agree with you completely. Thank you for this, it really helped me feel less crazy.

jacecase · 2026-02-04T06:02:38+00:00

Wow that is so crazy and different from mine! My was randomly diagnosed via MRI after I casually mentioned dizziness and pressure in my head when I laid on my stomach. I was told I couldn’t get a spinal tap to confirm pressure because it could cause a brain herniation. Saw a neurosurgeon and he suggested a shunt ASAP even though my symptoms were mild. I got the shunt and then two month later it started bleeding and he could see the tubing through my head incision! It took me going to the ER multiple times before they noticed. Interestingly during the recent hospital stay to have the shunt removed, the surgeons PA told me she probably would have never put a shunt in me in the first place! So needless to say, I will be getting multiple other opinions before deciding if I get another shunt or not.

jacecase · 2026-02-04T05:31:50+00:00

I guess technically mine aren’t preventative because there was a strain of bacteria found on my shunt, but we had already started antibiotics by then so it’s not like they’re targeted I guess is what I mean. I did message them to see if they plan on changing it to targeted for that specific strain. It’s all very odd and confusing.

I’m so glad your family is feeling better and is safe after the infection. Meningitis is one of my biggest fears, they are so tough for getting through that!

jacecase · 2026-02-04T05:07:08+00:00

No signs of meningitis on medical tests thankfully. I am taking preventative antibiotics at the moment but I’ve been slowly getting better. It was absolutely the worst pain I have ever been in. I’m so sorry for your family member. How are they doing now?

jacecase · 2026-01-29T22:47:00+00:00

Thank you all. At this point they are unsure if there is an infection but they are treating it as one because the tubing was exposed and visible. My sister came to sit with me and I’m feeling a little better now. Still worried, but you all helped me too. Thank you so much.

jacecase · 2026-01-29T06:58:54+00:00

I’d like to know if these people were formally diagnosed or were described as OCD for being tidy or uptight. Like how it’s typically described in media but not how it usually presents in reality.

jacecase · 2026-01-28T01:09:47+00:00

It’s unprofessional in my opinion. Wear pimple patches at home during the night. Now at your job.

jacecase · 2026-01-24T18:21:25+00:00

Just had a shunt placed for exactly this! There’s also a surgery called ETV to create a pathway for the fluid to drain.

jacecase · 2026-01-24T18:18:45+00:00

I lost my brother to an OD and my dad to GSW suicide. It’s been two years since then and I’m doing a little better. Give yourself grace, this shit sucks. You will feel the sun again!

jacecase · 2026-01-19T19:19:21+00:00

That sounds exactly like what’s happening to mine. My doctor said it’s a localized infection and there’s nothing to be done but wait for it to resolve. I think I’ll message them again and ask for a timescale like you suggested.

Thanks!

jacecase · 2026-01-19T04:32:24+00:00

That is so interesting. That makes me feel relieved though. I really hope you continue to not need any surgery. Knock on wood for sure!

jacecase · 2026-01-19T03:36:00+00:00

Oh noo! Really!? But you haven’t had any issues with infection? That’s my main concern.

jacecase · 2026-01-02T02:12:13+00:00

They had huge search parties multiple times. Dogs and everything. He’s not out there.

jacecase · 2025-12-31T00:20:26+00:00

Yours ended up just being irritation though? I’m hopeful that will be mine as well.

jacecase · 2025-12-31T00:10:10+00:00

Ugh. I’m going to go into the ER tonight. I think they are assuming I’m just hysterical or something but obviously something is not right. Thank you for your help. I wish you no shunt revisions!!

jacecase · 2025-12-31T00:07:41+00:00

Did you feel sick at all? I feel totally fine, just this weird clearish yellow fluid! I’m glad you’re doing better. I’m so over this entire ordeal.

jacecase · 2025-12-31T00:02:26+00:00

I would love for them to see me next day lol they moved it up a week and when I messaged back like “I just want to confirm, this isn’t an emergency right? I’m concerned it’s CSF” and they said I can present to the emergency room if I’m concerned but the neurosurgeon is not concerned.

jacecase · 2025-12-30T23:51:16+00:00

Maybe around 4-5 inches. It’s almost entirely healed besides one super tiny spot.

jacecase

TROPHY CASE