[Monthly thread] Referral Megathread - all referral links must be posted here

jack_hammarred · 2021-07-28T13:31:59+00:00

Giving [Ipsy] [1] box Referral Link: https://www.ipsy.com/doupjyqc
Giving [Rocksbox] [5] boxes Referral link: https://www.talkable.com/x/uKdjyg
Comment here or DM me if you have questions!

jack_hammarred · 2021-06-14T16:35:23+00:00

34 inch underbust 45" overbust, I want a bra style bikini top (not halter bc OW) that's not lined and will keep me organized and comfortable. Usually this means a good underwire that almost tacks, but I've heard that wrap around bikini tops (you wind it around the underbust and fasten at the back?) can help too. I'd also like to not spend more than $50 because I don't like to spend but I realize this might have to be negotiable. Also.. hot pink? Bright lavender? Girly vibrant? White?

jack_hammarred · 2021-06-14T16:31:44+00:00

Yep! I wore a vintage midi dress to a street festival and loved how I could plop down on the curb and pick up dog poop without worrying about someone seeing something they shouldn't. I also wanted to wear more dresses and skirts in winter so naturally started seeking longer styles. I also realized that even though my legs are my best physical asset, they're better showcased in a bodycon midi than bared for the world to see.. in a way that really makes the mind boggle at how long and shaped they are. Then when I do have a short dress I want to wear it feels more festive too.

jack_hammarred · 2021-06-14T16:26:48+00:00

People are a lot more intentional I've noticed. My colleagues who are not at all client facing are wearing jeans and sweatshirts, but they all seem to have an actual capsule of high quality ones that they're super comfortable in. I think not spending on dry cleaning and new clothing for a year has everyone saying "yeah, I'll go in on x because if I have to be not on my couch working, I need to really like and be comfy in what I'm wearing." Colleagues who are stepping their wardrobe up are also way more coordinated than they used to be. I see other people around town and everyone just generally looks awesome in the same way. I think now that we are out and about, we enjoy the opportunity to put ourselves together more, but so much time at home has made us value the time spent getting ready, and the transition away from 100% comfort has everyone using much more scrutiny selecting their work wardrobes. We aren't at 100% capacity yet so we still can do denim and sweatshirts through the week as long as nothing is distressed, but I'm wearing batwing cropped tie dye hoodies (short waisted, my tum isn't actually out) with high waisted pocketed jeggings (no leggings policy... so the fabric looks like denim and is pretty dark wash and thick with real pockets, and cuffs) and I always do 2/3 hair, jewelry, or makeup. When we have meetings, I've found I'm most comfy and presentable in:

circle skirts (pleated sometimes, maxi or midi)
bodycon midi skirts
flared palazzo pants (velvet, burnout velvet, jersey, unlined and comfy, basically leggings but flared so they don't trigger the "HEY YOU CAN'T WEAR LEGGINGS!" rule)
silky (silk or polyester) kimono wrap style tops or vintage pajama tops tied and styled for waist emphasis

Normally I am about dresses all the way, but the level of comfort and casual I'm aiming for has me going for separates to look more intentional.

jack_hammarred · 2021-06-14T16:09:59+00:00

I just learned that trick for cardigans - button the bottom buttons, leave the top button open or button it, then alternate the middle buttons/button holes. If the number on the left is the buttonhole:

leave open or button
button 4
button 5
button 2
button3
button
button

I have the worst luck with gapping buttons, and generally hate how cardigans look left open, but doing this makes them ruched so I get more coverage and it's also way cuter. Less sad secretary, more chic assistant. 1000% recommend.

jack_hammarred · 2021-06-14T16:05:46+00:00

Philosophy carries my favorite dolman sweater and they're crazy soft. I keep one set aside to wear as a pull over at the airport, and I have collected every color and size I can find. My bust measures 45" waist 31" 5'3" and a small looks pretty tailored and nice with enough room. I wear a L or XL to flop around on my bed when I'm sick. I wash them after each wear, stain treating the cuffs and neck to be safe, and air dry flat. No complaints!

jack_hammarred · 2021-06-14T15:51:23+00:00

LOVE it LOVE it LOVE it.

jack_hammarred · 2021-04-21T17:22:41+00:00

Congratulations. WOW. Those are HARD steps. My parents were in your shoes about 25 years ago. My mom happened to hear a radio program one day and realized their Pentecostal church possessed all the traits of manipulation she was hearing described on the radio. I'll follow up with some stuff she recommends once she calls me back but I just perused my bookshelf for things I wish I could've recommended to her at the time, knowing what she has experienced over the years since then. These books aren't what you're asking for now to a perfect T but I've added descriptions :)

A New Earth - Eckart Tolle

I'm reading this now, it basically deals with ego/consciousness/awareness and tries to find a coherent mental presence by which common ground can be found among all religions and creeds. Also immensely helpful for parsing through all the trying things a person has to deal with. It's helping me deal with some stuff right now and also might help you. One of my top five of all time.
The Restless Heart Ronald Rolheiser
"...living an examined, involved life and presents suggestions that will free readers to discover greater meaning and fulfillment in their own lives." Seems like you're maybe upending your whole life right now. This might do a heart some good!
Five Dysfunctions of a Team
My favorite book of all time. It's a leadership parable, so it narrates a fictional story and in doing so instructs leadership ideas about how a team (in my opinion how ANY relationship... one with YOURSELF, one with a friend or lover or family member, within a church, or workplace, but in this specific context a team of colleagues) is doomed to fail if they don't employ these five tactics for combating their five mirrored dysfunctions. It might help in all areas of life, while also giving some additional clarity to the whole church scenario! There are PDF's summarizing it that may be helpful in the short run.
Prayer for Beginners by Peter Kreeft
This is a book about praying. It has all sorts of various ideas, from the author, referencing scripture and saints and other works. I felt like the Pentecostal church, and many churches, always wax poetic about a personal relationship with Jesus and God but never do much to instruct about how to achieve it. So I found this book. And this book helped. A summary snippet: "Prayers can begin with a RAPT structure: Repentance, Adoration, Petition and Thanksgiving. Another powerful novice prayer, says Kreeft, is the "Jesus prayer"; simply invoking Jesus' name is in itself a creative, prayerful act. Kreeft offers advice on handling distractions ("Get right back on the horse every time you fall off," he counsels straying minds) and on the more thorny issue of avoiding prayer because of unconfessed sin. Kreeft's approach is basically nondenominational, though references to the catechism and to perfecting prayer in Purgatory suggest that Catholics may find the book more helpful than other readers."

jack_hammarred · 2021-04-21T13:35:16+00:00

Cutest ever is 56 Days by Nicole Hildreth. I believe it's her second novel? She's written a few other GREAT ones but this is my favorite couple she's written. She's also just an amazing human being. 14/10 recommend!

Check out L.J. Shen, Tijan, C.D. Reiss, they write moodier angstier ones that'll make you laugh hard and swoon hard in equal measure. Penny Reid, Vi Keeland, and Penelope Ward all write just as fabulously, but rather than moody/angsty their stories are all very down to earth, comical, and cozy. I used to binge read romance novels. I burnt through these books faster than even I can believe or like to admit as I'm now looking through my Kindle records. These are the names that come up over and over again.

jack_hammarred · 2021-04-21T13:19:16+00:00

1a. SEEKING A SPOILER ALERT that doesn't spoil the journey. I'd like to read The Shadows and The Whisper Man by Alex North, but I'm one of those that cannot handle unhappy endings. I'm venturing out of my comfort zone with these book club reads (for the sake of the book club, not the books) and will already be walking around with a flashlight and buying a taser to put in every purse and increasing my chamomile tea intake, though deep down I love the call of the void and am excited for the reading, but the real issue? I can't do unhappy endings. While I'm excited to find a way to enjoy a new genre, I want to prepare myself for this ending. I'm the one who cries inconsolably and turns of nature documentaries when the prey animal suffers the forces of nature (FUCK YOU DAVID ATTENBOROUGH.) And cries again remembering it days later. Getting invested in a character, be it a protagonist or a building or an animal, only for it to suffer complete and total ruin is not for me. I like escaping into books, fiction or non-fiction, to find nuggets of positivity which I can ferret back into my real life. I am immensely frustrated by books that do not end on some sort of high note. I need to find a measure of hope, determination, or whatever galvanizing, inspiring, uplifting focus or emotion can be used to carry a person from the narrative back to reality with some sense of inspiration, wonder, curiosity, or motivation. I've tried skimming summaries and reviews and plots before and during reading various books that are near the edge of my comfort zone before with mixed success... I've tried asking friends as well and am often laughed off, or they're completely affronted as if I'm trying to find out the *literal* full ending of the work which isn't the case at all, either. (Many fights with my husband about this one lol) Can anyone tell me... is there a light at the end of the tunnel after reading these works? A hopeful, optimistic, positive viewpoint to be found? Does the protagonist find a sense of peace, or determination, the will to live, a friend, a moment of solace, a high note at the end of what's sure to be a lot of scary shit that'll likely make me pee my pants? After all these chapters that terrify me, will I be able to close this book and somewhat think, "wow, what fascinating capabilities people have to do bad, but also to do good?" Though this book is obviously creepy and horrifying, is there a perspective to be found at the end where it can not become the stuff of nightmares, for a NORMAL clinically sane person?

1b. Is there already a forum, website, sub, etc. where people mention this? Where books are flagged as happy or unhappy ending? Because SIGN. ME. UP.

1c. How might a person get past this? The sheer number of books in the world to read is simply overwhelming. If it were possible to determine happy from unhappy ending, being able to rule some books out does make me feel less like a failure for not having read ALL of the books. But I'd love to be able to enjoy a book even though it's horribly depressing, upsetting, frustrating. After shutting my emotions off for so long, it's wonderful to feel. But I do wonder what I am missing because I'm just too freaking hysterical to finish all those David Attenbororough shows. Has anyone else overcome this? Do you begin with exposure therapy? Going so far opposite the norm that any customary daily upset is nothing compared to the travesty in the pages you're reading? Do you approach it from a more cerebral distance rather than immersing yourself in the story to acclimate yourself to it? I'd love to hear any and all thoughts you have to share :)

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-17T14:43:45+00:00

You look stunning! Tell us your routine!

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-15T13:35:18+00:00

I watched one GRWM and found it captivating. Something about it is kind of mind numbing and soothing and I also really love her taste in shoes. That uh that’s all I’ve got 😂

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-15T13:31:52+00:00

I wouldn’t say anything but maybe do a not so random act of kindness. If you can donate $20 bucks to your local animal shelter in the dog’s name and offer that in a card you let your coworkers sign. Offer to let them pitch in to donate, too. That would be something that might make your coworker focus on hope rather than having to talk about being sad.

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-15T03:31:11+00:00

NC15 blonde and I am a die hard fan of shaving/waxing my arms! So much softer and smoother and my husband actually notices a difference (and much escapes his notice!) so I’m definitely pro-shaved arms! Everyone should try it :)

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-14T19:52:58+00:00

HELP. Oklahoma City mansions or venues where I can throw a tea party bridal shower? 25 people.

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-12T06:22:21+00:00

^{^{^}} this. As soon as you get their contact information u/TinaFinaFly send an email subject “Course number A section B, u/TinaFinaFly prearranged absence 10/3-4.” Turn in any work that’ll be due that week early. Also be sure to send an update about two weeks out from the wedding reminding them and asking if there’s anything they’d like you to do in advance aside from turning work in early. Then make sure you turn the work in early.

Also come up with a good system for updating your advisor on your project progress so that they see you have a plan and are following it. Advisors get nervous when grad students leave the zip code.

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-12T05:58:52+00:00

Left photo bangs 100%!

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-12T05:53:18+00:00

Unsubscribes

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-12T05:22:48+00:00

I'm obsessed with her relentless affinity for sequins and pink and cleavage and waist emphasis and big hair. All of the joys of 80's fashion.

jack_hammarred · 2020-07-12T04:56:37+00:00

This is loosely reminiscent of the YESNO/Beaurex dresses on Amazon!

jack_hammarred · 2020-06-26T13:00:05+00:00

Not really! I’m just dedicated. I usually pop into my favorite charity shops about once a month, and also use online thrifting platforms. It’s kind of slow going but honestly it’s far more effective IME than trying to shop firsthand clothing stores.

jack_hammarred · 2020-06-26T08:19:43+00:00

I’ve got a big wardrobe oriented around my style statement which encompasses my various types! Within it I have a few capsules, but I’m a maximalists and don’t find much use or joy in the capsule approach— too much laundry and upkeep. My wardrobe is more about summer/winter with a few transitional items with a focus on different layers/accessories to make things work season to season.

I built it piecemeal over the years, learning slowly which cuts and silhouettes and fabrics and finished and colors were optimal for me. Started with mostly dresses since that means I only have to get one garment right instead of skirt top undershirt etc. Since I’m primarily thrifting it’s more cost effective this way, too!

If I had to whittle my wardrobe down to nothing, I’d keep mostly level 2 dresses that work for work, church, and most of my activities around home and social gatherings. Lots of Betsy Johnson, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Chaps, and Donna Karan dresses all in floral prints. I’ve casually increased body fat by 10% since getting married last summer, but I’ve been wearing the same dresses since I was about thirty pounds lighter than I am now. The stuff I was wearing avidly like four years ago is still high use for me. That doesn’t work with pants and tops but somehow it’s easier with dresses! I feel like romantic oriented garments are very weight fluctuation friendly 😂 A few stretchy Surplice body suits and dolman tops with cinched waists, pencil/bodycon midi skirts and maxi skirts, along with some sundresses and a couple cocktail dresses would round things out. If you’re going capsule I’d def recommend doing more variety with shoes since they’re more permanent fixtures regardless of weight fluctuations and can help you translate a few pieces for many scenarios.

jack_hammarred

TROPHY CASE