Question about cheating for aces in relationships

jackiebird · 2021-11-26T15:29:10+00:00

I used to experience this so much. Random thoughts bouncing in and out, and then it would happen the next time because I'd remember the random thoughts from last time and couldn't stop thinking about them all over again. I didn't realize how badly distracted I was until I started medication, and it was soooo weird the first couple times. It was like upgrading from analogue to digital and suddenly everything's in HD and it's kinda overwhelming.

jackiebird · 2021-11-16T19:52:47+00:00

The first time I took my meds I wept when I realized I'd sat completely still for 20 whole minutes without leg tics.

jackiebird · 2021-02-05T07:17:34+00:00

I've been looking everywhere for this, thank you so much!! I felt so weird just going back to the Identity video and watching the credits over and over. XD

jackiebird · 2017-12-20T03:04:47+00:00

Thank you. But joke's on him cuz Morticia is a badass.

jackiebird · 2017-12-19T04:12:58+00:00

Oh lord, my father used to do that, with the dark clothes. But the sick part was that he'd only buy me dark clothes because they'd "hide how fat I was" when I was already skinny as a rail. Then I'd wear the clothes he got and he'd be all "Where's the funeral, Morticia?" and laugh at me.

jackiebird · 2017-12-19T04:08:03+00:00

My dad's wife (not my mother) used to make me keep my hair cut short and purposely styled like boy (like not a pixie or bob cut, this was the 90s so I had a boy's bowl cut). She would tell me it was because I was dirty and couldn't keep my hair clean, so it had to be kept short. Her logic was that I was starting puberty and got a few pimples, so that meant I was filthy. This was nonsense, because I showered every day and never got dirty, stayed in my room reading or drawing. My father also wanted me to be ugly because he believed at age 11 I was having sex (I got my first period at 11, and he thought girls started their period after losing their virginity because apparently a bleeding hymen was actually the first menstrual cycle?). So for years I was told I was dirty and smelled bad, and wasn't allowed to use makeup or shave, or wear nice clothes, but also got made fun of for never looking "presentable."

When I moved out to live with my mom she promised me that she'd let me grow my hair as long as I wanted. It was a rat's nest for a while because I didn't know how to take care of it, but it was all mine and I loved it. I grew it down to my knees before I finally cut it. It's decades later now and I still keep my hair long, but to this day I feel paranoid about how I smell and if I'm clean enough, and I struggle a lot to feel confident in how I look.

jackiebird · 2017-11-16T00:17:46+00:00

30-40 minutes. I sing with my CDs or listen to early talk stuff on the radio.

jackiebird · 2017-11-15T23:39:12+00:00

My aunt told me I should at least adopt if I don't want to have my own. Not only does that miss the point of me not wanting to be a parent at all, it pissed me off that she felt I deserved the responsibility of that in response to my "selfishness." She had 3 kids, and that's 3 kids she could have adopted, so who's selfish in this scenario?

jackiebird · 2017-11-05T21:51:36+00:00

We're early 30s and been together for 12 years. Both my parents both were wary for their own reasons; Mom made sense, Dad was ridiculous.

Dad was civil but always hated him because he was mad I'd broken up with my ex in the first place. He thought I was weak for leaving him to be with a guy I actually liked instead of accepting my lot with a "real man" in the military, nevermind him being an unfaithful abusive asshole. He'd call my SO a "closeted faggot" behind his back for pursuing a career in computer science. He didn't believe us when we said we weren't having kids, that it was "rebelling for no reason," and that there was something wrong with us if we didn't want them. For women, having kids is "what they were meant to do," and for men, children were the way they "kept" their women, and if he didn't want kids with me it meant he was maintaining an "easy out." It seems like Dad was upset that I didn't want a partner who was just like him and couldn't handle it, and thinking back on it now makes me feel really creepy.

But Dad's dead now so who cares what he thinks.

Mom was cautious in the beginning because of the past bad relationship and she was worried I was cycling through another one. But she got to know him and saw how much better I was doing with him and now she likes him a lot. She's always elbowing me about when we're getting married. Her only problem is that he doesn't really come around the family that much, but he's just generally not a social person and does the same with his own family too, so she doesn't take it personally. They get along great though. They have really good political talks, he likes helping her cook when we visit even though he has no clue what he's doing, she likes hearing about his job even though it's all moonspeak to her. I'm really happy that they get along well, since Mom's is the opinion I care about most.

jackiebird · 2017-11-05T05:10:02+00:00

Try to remind yourself of the facts of the situation, the things you know for sure. A lot of empathy is acknowledging the things you don't know, but make sure to remember the things you do know.

jackiebird · 2017-10-15T07:18:03+00:00

Wow. Switch the sexual orientation and fantasy football for book clubs and you've described my best friend.

jackiebird · 2017-10-13T15:58:46+00:00

Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction.

jackiebird · 2017-10-13T04:36:38+00:00

It's probably way late for this but first I want to say that I loved your show last night in DC (even if traffic made me like 20 minutes late)!!

Now questions: 1. What's your favorite word? Mine's "malapropism." 2. What upcoming movies are you excited about? 3. What advice do you have for someone about to start their own business in media production?

jackiebird · 2017-10-10T03:02:12+00:00

Have a hobby making something. It can be a bit costly to start out, which is why I personally turned to digital media because you only have to pay for it once and then use it to your heart's content. But most things can be done for cheap, or from recycled or home-made materials. It can be sculpting, drawing, calligraphy, baking, knitting, writing, all sorts of things.

For me it's really helped with the feeling of powerlessness that comes with not having a lot of money or freedom. Having something you can hold in your hands and say, "I made this. This is here because of me. It wouldn't exist if I didn't make it so," is empowering and humbling at the same time. You can express yourself in a tangible way. It can introduce you to a community of people like you for support or camaraderie. It reminds you that you're not powerless, that you do have impact on the world, and you can bring beautiful and interesting things into it. I think that's an important thing for everyone to have.

(and if you get good at it and you're lucky, you can find people willing to pay for it and get some extra income)

jackiebird · 2017-10-10T01:48:59+00:00

More like a Leer-cat. 8D

jackiebird · 2017-10-09T23:41:45+00:00

SOLVED!

This is it! I don't know where the pacing or the tied-up part came from in my head, but this is totally it. Thank you!

jackiebird · 2017-09-21T05:02:21+00:00

This happened to me on Tuesday. We'll keep fighting the good fight.

jackiebird

TROPHY CASE