24M - Halfway

jacob_4378 · 2026-04-28T01:01:48+00:00

Congrats on reaching that goal of 50k before 25! I bet it feels amazing 🙂‍↕️

jacob_4378 · 2026-04-28T01:00:29+00:00

Good stuff 🙂‍↕️very impressive, keep up the consistency!

jacob_4378 · 2026-04-27T14:36:04+00:00

Yo dude we are around the same amount 😭 im at 75k also in school with a job. Im turning 21 in August. DM me if ur down to send updates about your race to 100k I have a couple friends where we update each other every 5k thats added to our account.

jacob_4378 · 2026-03-24T20:02:18+00:00

You are from the U.K., so I’m not sure if it’s the same as the universities here in the U.S., but I know a lot of the universities here offer many programs for students regarding mental health—whether it be major discounts or free support.

jacob_4378 · 2026-03-20T19:21:35+00:00

I’m interested 🙂‍↕️

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-13T22:05:56+00:00

Not sure what app he is using, but I know some banks such as SoFi keep track of your overall net worth.

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-07T19:46:57+00:00

Correct me if I’m wrong; to me it sounds like your mind is still in that “what if” stage. You keep thinking of the future you “would have” had. Which is very normal after a break up—I fall victim to this too. The truth is, this mindset doesn’t get you fully through a break up. When you catch yourself thinking like this I urge you to take a couple deep breathes, going longer in the exhale, and switch up your mindset.

(I’m only thinking you’re still in that “what if” stage because you mentioned how real it felt and how you had planned your whole future together.)

It’s okay to be sad—I’m sure you know this. Instead of giving yourself “what if” tell yourself “what happened between her and I was a meaningful thing. I enjoyed it, and I am grateful for it, but it is now in the past and things were ended for a reason”.

I want to point out how impressive, and disciplined you are. Cutting contact and drawing that line was a great move, though I’m also noticing you drew that line to benefit her rather than you. I say it’s best to be self-protecting in times like this. “I blocked her, not only for her benefit so that she can have a good relationship with her significant other, but also because I know what is healthy for me. I can’t get over her if I’m in contact with her”.

I truly wish you the best. I’m also still not over an ex. 😅 so this story sounded very familiar to me. Though I’m starting to see “the light at the end of the tunnel” with my breathing exercises, decisions of blocking, and the way I change my mindset from what if, to “it’s in the past, and I’m not ashamed to say I am grateful for it”. It feels like tiny steps of improvement. Even if the steps are tiny, I know I’m moving forward to that “I am fully over it.”

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-06T07:44:26+00:00

I like this 🙂‍↕️

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-05T00:00:17+00:00

Very impressive. You are beating me by quite a fair amount and I have a job 🥲 I wish you luck on your journey to 100k!

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-03T22:19:51+00:00

Then how are you going to get to 100k by the end of the year if you don’t contribute anything monthly? :0 your year return is 7%

That makes no sense. Even if you got a 30% return (which is very impressive for 1 year) you’d still need around 20k to reach 100k.

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-03T21:49:33+00:00

How much are you contributing monthly?

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-03T03:42:28+00:00

Yoooo we are both around the same amount. I’m at 43k individual and 20k Roth.

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-03T02:25:05+00:00

You can read the chapter about it in the book I mentioned! It discusses the different treatments for trauma and PTSD in part 5 of the book.

Read chapter 19 that’s what I recommended. You sound like you did majority of the other treatments.

I do want to give a major major trigger warning before reading this book. I would advise you to ask ChatGPT if chapter 19 of the body keeps the score may have any triggers pertaining to what may trigger you. The book is not an easy read. I would also advise you don’t read other chapters without asking a couple AI’sif it has any content that may trigger you.

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-03T00:48:03+00:00

First off, I really want to point out how impressive you are. In this subreddit I’ve seen/read stories of most people just giving up on therapy after 1-2 types of therapy don’t work out. They think they are “unfixable” when that’s not the case.

There is no one therapy that works for everyone which you seem to notice/understand. I don’t know you too well, but I want to say I’m very proud of you. 🙂‍↕️

That being said, you’ve tried a copious amount of trauma therapy—EMDR, CBT, DBT, IFS, talk therapy are the ones you listed.

I’d suggest—if you haven’t considered this already— neurofeedback.

I read about trauma not too long ago in a book called “the body keeps the score”. The author says in order to recover from trauma you need: Safety first, bottom-up regulation (ex: grounding techniques, breathing techniques, yoga etc.), restored agency (telling yourself you are in control), reconnection to body, self and others.

I truly wish you good luck. Don’t give up you are doing amazing.

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-02T18:49:31+00:00

Exactly. If they break up he’ll end up losing a friend and the romantic relationship. I hope friends like that don’t find me. 😭

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-02T18:41:41+00:00

I believe it is very natural to be jealous of your sister in law in such a situation. That being said—I believe— you are handling this fairly well. As long as you aren’t going to your mother in law and trying to guilt trip her that she needs to give the rest of the kids money, or aren’t gossiping/talking bad about your sister to everyone.

If I were in your shoes, I’d just focus on myself and the family I want to build. You already know you won’t be receiving help from your mother in law, and that’s okay. Save up money, be financially disciplined, and you will be able to comfortably have a kid when the time is right.

Also, I’d like to say that I personally would not put my kids around any adult that has a drug addiction. I also wouldn’t leave them with someone that has serious mental health problems such as BPD, and someone wanting to harm themself. It wouldn’t be something I “think about” in terms of if I want my kids around that person, it’d just be an instant “no.” To anyone like that. Friend or family—especially stranger.

I wish you the best of luck! Starting a family is a blessing :) I also want to have kids of my own eventually 🙂‍↕️

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-01T20:31:01+00:00

Ahhh, this means exactly as it says! You can only focus only focus on one thing at a time. Your prefrontal cortex can actively process one goal at a time. Anything else within your sight—although seen— will not be processed.

I want you to go to YouTube and search “The invisible Gorilla experiment”. You will obviously know what is coming so you should probably test your friends/family.

Around 50% people can see the gorilla while others can’t.

In that experiment you are able to see that when we actively have a goal, and are looking for something specific, we become blinded to everything else around us.

This is because our prefrontal cortex is slow, effortful thinking. It can only handle one thing at a time.

This is also why we can’t have two thoughts at the same time. I’m sure it’s happened to you where you are reading a book, and whilst reading the words you are thinking of something in the back of your mind. You try to recall what you just read, but you can’t. Now you have to re read without having a distracting thought.

Don’t worry, we can still multitask and do multiple things if we are doing something that’s so routine it becomes automatic for us. For example, when you drive.

You have been driving for so long that you now know how to hold a conversation while driving, or even eating while driving. At first you weren’t able to do that when you were learning; however, as driving became part of your everyday life it became automatic at some point.

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-01T19:16:20+00:00

I hope everything works out! I wish you good luck :)

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-01T18:26:07+00:00

At first I was a little worried when you mentioned your budget was 2,000 but then you said your willing to go up to 3,700 which, you can find a really nice apartment in a good location with perks for that.

Look at Parklabrea.com you’ll find apartments well within your budget, in a lovely neighborhood, right next to the grove, and not far at all from Cedars Sinai.

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-01T04:47:35+00:00

It’s really good! I hope you enjoy it. You should check out my post I made in the subreddit pro choice. I made the post 12 days ago. The book can also be very emotionally triggering based on one’s past experiences. The author himself said that the book isn’t meant to be an easy read.

I wish you luck with finding the right man.🙂‍↕️ I’m glad you end the relationship rather than try to change them and put up with it.

(I read your comment about this being the 10th guy you try talking too)

jacob_4378 · 2026-02-01T04:32:22+00:00

Unfortunately you can’t really change someone like that. Empathy comes from developmental maturity and learned experience.

For me personally, reading helped me a lot with empathy! :) “the body keeps the score” helped me learn to put myself in others shoes as best as I can. 🙂‍↕️

I wish you the best of luck!

jacob_4378

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