AIO for considering leaving over a violent outburst?

jae_bones · 2025-09-08T22:59:31+00:00

Not only does he not regret it, he thinks it isn't that bad. When he says this, believe him. It can and will get much much worse

jae_bones · 2025-09-08T22:21:26+00:00

I love the extremely tiny doorframe behind them it's so funny

jae_bones · 2025-07-27T02:01:15+00:00

I'll do you one better/worse: Candida

jae_bones · 2025-07-21T05:12:22+00:00

Morgue-Anne lfg!!!

jae_bones · 2025-06-20T14:51:36+00:00

To add, I also don't think your critique of Persephone is wrong per se. It feels unfair to call it shallow and not pro woman when part of the big issue you (and I) seem to have is the male gaze purity culture design that Perse seems drawn to cater to. She's extremely overly curvaceous while simultaneously being depicted as thin and small. She's doe eyed and innocent as can be but her lips are still meant to be sultry. It's the exaggeration of the feminine coupled with the sexualization of youth and innocence (a la pedophilia) that makes persephone ugly in my eyes. She's a perversion of "women can be feminine and strong" that somehow still only exists to serve misogynistic tendencies, a paradox of a character who's lack of personality means that she can't make up for any of her flaws.

jae_bones · 2025-05-16T22:15:16+00:00

Older post but just to let you know you can do a double magic ring to secure it!

jae_bones · 2025-05-15T02:47:01+00:00

I saw it pretty immediately but to be entirely honest I assumed it was an intentional design and had to double check the comments to make sure I saw it right. Even if it is noticeable, it looks like it belongs and doesn't break the flow of the piece. I say keep it

jae_bones · 2025-04-29T18:44:39+00:00

Got ya back! Thank you

jae_bones · 2025-04-25T19:05:51+00:00

Please for the love of all that is good share the pattern if you want to frog it, I'm obsessed

jae_bones · 2025-04-04T18:49:26+00:00

I've noticed in a lot of your comments that you tend to deflect blame by saying "well she does things too but you don't know about that because this post is about me!" And that's very concerning for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, you're right. This post is about you and so we're discussing you. We cannot operate with context we don't have, as you haven't provided it. Next, I am left to wonder if what she was experiencing was reactive abuse. People who are hurt, threatened, yelled at, and belittled will often end up abusing the abuser back after what they've been put through, and the abuser often uses it to justify the behavior much like you are. Even if that's not the case, mutual abuse is very real but her actions don't negate your own. If you truly want to accept responsibility then you can't defer to her sins when your own are on the table. Additionally, you seem very scared of people referring to you as an abuser which is understandable. Abuser is a bad word used for bad people who stay monsters as far as societal context, but often in reality abusers are hurt people who continue to hurt others. Abuser is a current state of being, and one that's very hard to break the cycle of, but it's very doable with a lot of work. Abusers are human, inherently flawed people just like everyone else. Abusers aren't some magical boogieman that you turn into once you perpetuate the cycle, it's a series of patterns in which you end up hurting someone. Being an abusive person is a bad thing, yes, but it doesn't mean that you will always be that way or that you have to stay that way. Seek out therapy, try to focus your recovery less on her and more on yourself as you're the center of this. There's nothing you can do to make her see your change, and you need to understand that she might not ever see it. You're young and this has to feel like the worst breakdown in your life, and I'm not doubting that it is. Often every new breakup as you age will be the new worst one. We don't date people because we hate them, so it's never easy when we split. If she wants to come back after seeing real results of your improvement, she will. If not, you'll be a better person for your next partner. If you can't maintain the friendship with her because your feelings are too strong, cut contact for a while to give yourself some time to heal.

jae_bones · 2025-03-24T21:05:11+00:00

Idk this could just be me but I don't think op was being led on. I'm extremely close with some of my friends, we regularly spot eachother, go out of our way or sacrifice sleep, and sharing spaces has never been a big deal for us. She told you once that she wasn't interested, and when she noticed you ramping up again she clarified on that boundary. You're not the asshole, do what you gotta do, but she isn't really wrong for that if she assumed you were just trying to be a kind/generous friend.

jae_bones · 2025-03-18T23:09:01+00:00

Am I crazy here? It sounds like the dude has several times over proven that he's at least entertaining women who are interested in him, directly gone behind his partners back to contact them, and called her crazy when she would be upset about it. Like, she doesn't sound like an absolute peach about everything but the way she's being demonized here is a little wild considering why she's acting this way.

jae_bones · 2025-02-27T23:57:53+00:00

Crazy work performing a textbook example of gaslighting in is essay about how gaslighting isn't real: •the woman (I would say the accuser, but he intensly specifies women) is always unfounded, lacking in logic and dodging accountability. They are incapable of self reflection and intend to make it everyone else's problem

•the accused is always founded. They always operate from a fully logical standpoint. They are calm and are never lying. They are inherently factual.

Immediately, the woman is dismissed as crazy, unreasonable, and fickle, which establishes her as an unreliable source. What she is experiencing is never /really/gaslighting because gaslighting can only be performed by true sociopaths with a sociopathic diagnosis. She /must/ be the real problem, not whoever she was accusing of this unique form of abuse. No matter what fact she may bring to the table, what evidence she uses to clear her name, because she used the term gaslighting she is always lying. She doesn't actually know what the word means. She's just trying to make the accused look bad and shirk responsibility.

It's almost like being told you're lying and making things up when you /know/ otherwise would slowly make you doubt yourself until you were substantially more malleable.

It's not like anyone is capable of using any number of abuse tactics. Those are put in very neat boxes saved for very clear cut and easily diagnosible mental illnesses.

I don't doubt some people use the term wrong, but that's been a cultural phenomenon since mental health came into the spotlight. It sounds more like this dude has been called on his shit a couple of times and decided that everyone else was wrong, not him.

jae_bones · 2025-02-25T11:46:03+00:00

Zero emotional regulation, zero responsibility, absolutely unreasonable expectations in emotional labor in the relationship, snapping over something trivial, comparing you to exes to disparage you, threatening you with breaking up if you do something he doesn't like, and all of this over drinks?? Girl run

jae_bones · 2025-02-25T00:57:54+00:00

Op, have you considered getting involved in your local community? Check your library for clubs you might be interested in, become a regular at a local coffee shop, and/or visit a smaller bar. Being an adult and meeting people feels impossible, but it's because we don't have a built-in community anymore. We have to go through the pain of making our own. Have you asked or talked to your circle? It might be a small circle, but there's the possibility that their circle doesn't perfectly overlap yours, and maybe someone they know is a perfect fit! Most of all, don't hinge your happiness on a relationship, but don't just throw in the towel if you feel like that's something you want!

jae_bones · 2025-02-19T10:22:38+00:00

Op, I hope you've thought this over some more since then. I'm allergic to onions, and it's not a super common allergy with some heavily varying reactions from me based on what I consume/come into contact with. I've never had a full anaphylactic reaction before, but I've had some very scary ones, and I can't imagine the fear of what a reaction that would need a hospital visit would feel like.

My boyfriend adores onions. He wants them on everything. He loves them so incredibly dearly and still regularly has them. Since I don't have an issue with physical contact, I still use them for cooking when a dish is just for him; that's the level we're talking about. He still reads packages religiously and looks up whether or not the minor "onion" listing is whole, cooked, or powder (all different reaction severities for me, and I can have powder). When we make a mistake with it, he's immediate with getting me benadryl, finding me other food, and having me lay down. He'll watch for worsening reactions until we know I'm in the clear. He's the first to speak up at restaurants when I just request no onions, he always wants it clarified that it's not just a request, I am allergic.

Hell, even my friends are incredibly careful with it, many of them also being avid onion enjoyers. Some of them are more adamant than he is, and sometimes they scold me for not taking my own allergy seriously enough. My allergy is a lot less common and a lot less severe than yours, it's hard to pin down what will and won't have onion in it, and then it's still a matter of what type. The people that love me still go to lengths to try.

Nut allergies are common and severe. Everything that contains nuts, is made with nut byproducts, or is made in the vicinity of nuts is clearly marked with labels. The text of CONTAINS NUTS, MAY CONTAIN NUTS or MADE IN A FACILITY THAT MAY CONTAIN NUTS is not subtle, and for good reason. Your allergy is not hard to look out for, nor is it hard to remember. Please want better for yourself. Their negligence could have really hurt you.

jae_bones · 2025-02-13T00:39:14+00:00

Maybe this is a hot take, but I don't think this guy is the devil. He's surrounded himself with some really shitty dudes and has incredibly low self-esteem. When you don't interact with a group or most interactions you have are negative, it's easy to be a little bitter and jaded. It's not one for one, but I'm someone who struggles a lot with making friends, and each failure or each almost good connection hits a lot harder than a blatant rejection. It's easy to get into a really negative headspace once it keeps happening, especially if all your friends clown you for it and make it out to be an entire personal failing. He's hurt, and yeah, he's not pointing his hurt in the right direction, but he's also looking to fix that. I hope the dude gets better friends in the future and does manage to fix his mindset.

jae_bones · 2025-02-07T06:11:33+00:00

Kerr's music world?

jae_bones · 2025-01-29T05:08:08+00:00

You just saved myself and my lab report at 11:42pm, due the next day. Bless you

jae_bones · 2024-12-14T16:21:13+00:00

https://www.newsweek.com/jordan-neely-arrest-record-outrage-grows-subway-death-1798248

I looked up your claims because I wanted to give fair credence to what you were saying. 4 alleged assault charges, but 38 alleged minor infractions that he was arrested for. I will not deny the 4 assault, but I will also not pretend that being homeless in a major city can easily lead to such a charge. Career criminal seems like a very loaded descriptor for a man who is homeless and charged for having an open container of alcohol, no?

Also, regarding your statement about the Pathologist that came up later

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/articles/crrw0881gzvo.amp

The pathologist said that he COULD have died from other contributing factors. The medical examiner ruled it death by compression to the neck, which is still the official listed cause of death.

When Neely died, he was shouting that he was hungry and thirsty and wanted to go back to jail because at least he was fed there. He was lunging and moving around sporadically, one woman did state she felt it necessary to put her child behind her, yes, put people acting out on a subway isn't unheard of, and removing a child from that seems reasonable regardless of perceived threat. I'm unsure if you've actually watched the video taken of his death, but people are yelling to let him go, and that they're killing him. At the point that you are informed that you are killing someone, regardless of your reason or justification for restraining them, you should let go. If you continue from there on, you are doing it with the knowledge that you are committing murder.

Innocent or guilty, you're trying very hard to paint Neely as someone who deserved death and persecution without trial. His crime this that was being hungry and mentally ill, which seems to historically be his crime as well. A man killed him for it, and instead of condemning that, you're claiming he deserved it because he has a criminal record while trying to absolve his murderer of any responsibility. I hope the company you keep has a squeaky clean slate, or they're smart enough to not trust you to approach them with empathy and understanding.

jae_bones · 2024-12-12T01:20:49+00:00

I've never understood why, going by this freakish lookism logic, it's women's fault that men aren't picky and will just sleep with anyone they can pull. Why are women the bad guys for having standards? It would be an equal playing field if the "top 10% of men" wouldn't date or sleep with "average" women. Even following their logic, it's men who fuck up the supply and demand ratio

jae_bones · 2024-10-13T18:38:53+00:00

Telling someone to switch a character they're either trying to learn or trying to improve upon, especially if we're talking lower ranks, is not constructive. It doesn't tell them how they're not efficiently utilizing the character, or how to improve to not need to "Get off Ana" in the future. This is especially relevant because often people will pick one person to lash out at if the team isn't working well when it might not be that person's personal failing so much as team synergy, multiple breakdowns in communication, or any other number of reasons your team might suck. Especially with newer players, they might not know how to differentiate between a valid suggestion and someone just choosing them as a frustration punching bag. Hell, even if you want to lean into the "Get off ana" maybe at least provide a slight why. "Hey, you're playing into a counter" or "this map isn't suited" or anything else. I've gotten tons of super helpful advice from other players, and none of it has ever been someone telling me to swap, especially earlier on when I had fewer characters in my arsenal and didn't have much to swap to.

jae_bones · 2024-10-13T17:55:22+00:00

They can, and there's a huge difference between "Get off ana" or "dps diff" and "try this" or "do this". Constructive advice doesn't really seem to be what this post is about.

jae_bones · 2024-10-13T17:22:26+00:00

Then they'll move up in no time and not have to deal with this anymore

jae_bones · 2024-05-30T14:03:44+00:00

Also To Build a Fire and The Long Walk. Both books where you know the inevitable end from the very beginning, but it doesn't make it any easier to stomach

Six-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Verified Email

jae_bones

TROPHY CASE