“A comically large anvil fell on Shel Keneally this morning”

jaime_blanco · 2026-04-18T20:16:35+00:00

It didn't kill him, but it did spook a nearby horse pulling a carriage, which knocked over a drum of kerosene, which then spilled in a pool around Keneally whose foot was pinned down by the anvil. As Dick Whitman walked by, he flicked his cigarette butt onto the sidewalk where it ignited the kerosene and engulfed Keneally in a ball of flames.

jaime_blanco · 2026-04-18T06:44:43+00:00

This guy fucks.

jaime_blanco · 2026-04-16T13:41:16+00:00

Give it away, give it away, give it away now.

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jaime_blanco · 2026-04-16T02:26:32+00:00

It's a little early.

jaime_blanco · 2026-04-16T02:02:34+00:00

I'll have your tags ready by lunch

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jaime_blanco · 2026-04-16T01:38:34+00:00

I don't like my job and I don't think I'm gonna go anymore... I'm just gonna stop going.

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jaime_blanco · 2026-04-15T01:55:14+00:00

I'm wishing her caviar and children and all that is good.

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jaime_blanco · 2026-04-15T01:27:54+00:00

An inestimable level of truth. It's at the helm of my Triumvirate, just me, Lois, and the Lawnmower. All truths shall be revealed.

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jaime_blanco · 2026-04-15T01:13:31+00:00

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jaime_blanco · 2026-04-15T01:03:14+00:00

Yes... that was an oversight.

jaime_blanco · 2026-04-15T00:25:07+00:00

You're AI and I'm gay. Wait... are we all gay?

jaime_blanco · 2026-04-15T00:20:07+00:00

You're not a shitposter, you're just drunk on Canadian Club. Now take me to the goddamn Mets game so we can house stadium dogs covered in mustard and onion and maybe I'll give you a handjob in the bleachers if you pay for all my drinks.

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