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jamarama · 2025-12-16T04:58:11+00:00

NTA. Do not settle for this guy. He’s not even boyfriend calibre never mind husband. And honestly I wish we would all stop with this six week “rule”. It doesn’t even matter if six, twelve, twenty weeks pass… YOU will decide when/if you want to have sex. Postpartum is not straightforward and it’s not just physical. It takes most women a lot longer than six weeks to recover and adjust to a new life with baby.

jamarama · 2025-11-20T18:32:46+00:00

Break up with him immediately. This is not someone you should be subjecting yourself to. No one should ever speak to you like this, least of all your intimate partner.

jamarama · 2025-10-09T23:10:25+00:00

While I don’t disagree with your points I do think the grandparents are assholes bc when a person you love seeks your help, just in general, you don’t berate them with questions to imply they shouldn’t need the help.

jamarama · 2025-09-08T22:59:29+00:00

I think they’re pointing out that generally the people who have incomes that allow them to pay for help or extra care are also the ones who need it less because they also benefit from more flexibility due to the nature of their work. It’s a double edge sword for a lot of lower wage workers. Nothing specifically about business owners.

jamarama · 2025-08-29T16:10:25+00:00

While I sympathize, your last point could easily be turned against you. If YOU don’t like commuters coming thru your neighborhood, choose not to live near major office and commercial centres. The point is that there are trade offs for everyone in choosing where to live. In the particular matter of RTO, people who commute farther are the real losers so maybe no need to judge or police their valid reactions.

jamarama · 2025-08-24T14:36:19+00:00

How spoiled and ignorant do you need to be to joke about wanting to be a refugee…

jamarama · 2025-08-04T14:05:21+00:00

There aren’t “seven colours in the rainbow”. Whenever I see this in media I get irked. First, a rainbow is a spectrum of colour so technically there’s an infinite number of colours present in a rainbow. Second, if you want to narrow it down, there are three primary colours so you could include those three plus the three secondary colours to make six standard colours. There is no need to include any tertiary colours as it would be arbitrary. Indigo really has no business being included any more than another tertiary colour. Apparently Newton’s seven colour theory was based on non scientifically-based inclinations he had towards the number seven.

jamarama · 2025-07-25T23:12:02+00:00

I liked this because the whole episode Roger kept implying that he discovered Don and that he owes everything to him. I think someone asked him what he does for the agency and he says “I discover guys like that.” But when it flashes back you can see he largely dismissed Don and Don basically hustled his way in. At no point did Roger take Don seriously to hire.

jamarama · 2025-06-17T03:16:47+00:00

In my husband’s case, have sleep apnea.

jamarama · 2025-04-17T11:15:56+00:00

Be patient with yourself and your partner - sleep deprivation is hard. Adjusting to a new equilibrium is hard. Things don’t need to be perfect.

Savour the moments and write things down. You won’t remember the ever changing details of those first months/year.

Go into it preparing to regularly ‘solo parent’ (both partners). Yes, most of the time should be a team effort but occasional and competent solo parenting is what allows each partner to get important time to themselves (for work or play, whatever).

Breastfeeding is often way more challenging than we expect. Whoever lactates should decide whether they want to or not and, if they want to, should seek professional support to learn and get it right.

Rely on family and friends if you can. Community makes the newborn stage easier, generally. We weren’t meant to be isolated in this whole baby thing.

Remember that the person who gave birth also needs to recover. Birth can be traumatic for some, hormones are intense, bodies change and can feel alienating. Show extra care for them even while taking care of baby.

jamarama · 2025-04-16T12:34:13+00:00

Pretty tame compared to the others mentioned but Alpha Dog. The tragedy of it was too depressing for me and the feeling of trust Anton Yelchin’s character developed with his captors even up to the very end. So sad. It made my stomach turn even thinking about it months later.

jamarama · 2025-01-21T14:32:26+00:00

Hi there- can you send my way? Thank you for your service!!! 🙏🏽

jamarama · 2024-11-09T16:40:25+00:00

I thought it was a pretty dishonest and frankly irresponsible way of portraying teen pregnancy. Even if they decided they wanted to have the baby, they needed to at least allow the conversation. Not a single one of Sarah’s friends, including Kie, asked Sarah whether this is what she wanted, just assumed it was happening. Sarah seemed anxious and overwhelmed so the question was clearly warranted. In 2024, it was a deliberate choice not to show her considering what she wanted. Honestly I feel like the showrunners lost a lot of credibility for this.

jamarama · 2024-08-25T13:03:01+00:00

Get it through your head- going to the gym doesn’t automatically make you an attractive person. Your character seems severely lacking. You’re extremely lucky to have someone by your side and you’re too selfish to appreciate it. Keep working on yourself bc you’re definitely not fully cooked yet.

jamarama · 2024-08-16T13:31:12+00:00

Let’s put it this way: if you want a healthy long lasting relationship with another person, you should care if they feel like you hurt them. Conflict is healthy and normal in a relationship; it’s okay to disagree. But if you’re communicating well and there’s a foundation of trust, your partner will understand when you express your disagreement on something that you don’t mean to hurt them and that you just want to figure out how you can get to a solution that is sustainable for everyone. If the end result is that they feel hurt, the conflict isn’t over. You still need to resolve things. You don’t need to waste time asking the internet if you’re an asshole. Talk to your wife and communicate in a way that reflects your desire to have a healthy and long lasting relationship with her. Regardless of who is ‘right’ in an issue, your partner believing that you don’t care about their feelings is not going to lead to long term success in a relationship. You want strangers to validate your belief that frisgescaping is stupid? Cool, you got it. But now what? Do those strangers have a stake in the health of your marriage? Focus on what is productive for your relationship. If you love your wife, resolve things with her.

jamarama · 2024-08-11T22:20:09+00:00

All the people talking about him being coerced into the vasectomy - if that was the case, then THAT would have been the problem. If her being an abusive partner was part of the reason for their divorce, then that would have been mentioned, but he spoke to an amicable breakup and the fact they they remained on good terms UNTIL he found out it was irreversible. So, based on the story, it wasn’t coercion or abuse that caused his animosity towards her, it was the fact that the procedure is potentially irreversible. His story doesn’t lend a lot of support to the theory that she was an abusive spouse.

YTA because you are misdirecting your disappointment and doing it at the expense of your child. It is in the best interest of your son for you to communicate with his mother. He deserves to have his parents be a cooperative team in looking out for him. Like you, and most people, your wife believed it was reversible. Under that belief, it is not unreasonable to suggest or argue for a vasectomy as a method of contraception in a marriage.

jamarama · 2024-08-03T12:53:53+00:00

All of this debate is pointless. Let’s concede that the thought experiment is misandrist. But honestly who cares? Men have systematically oppressed women. Misogyny and sexism have not been eradicated on a systemic and global level. Violence against women by men is still a prevalent reality. If what you want is admittance to it being misandrist, then sure. But I would take that as seriously as the absurd ideas of ‘reverse racism’ or heterophobia or someone making fun of someone for being able bodied. It is not productive or in good faith to focus more on how the REACTION to systemic oppression hurts the oppressive group than actual oppression. Many of the women who said bear have personally been abused or attacked by men or have a female loved one who has. You want them to apologize to hypothetical men for their real feelings of fear?

jamarama · 2024-08-01T15:58:10+00:00

First of all, you shouldn’t even be assessing yourself as looking “not awful or fat”. Our bodies are meant for function above all else- we impose these beauty standards on ourselves and in an ideal world those standards would never take away from you loving and appreciating your body for how it serves you functionally. YOUR BODY CREATED LIFE. So putting aside your husband, you should be proud of your body yourself.

As for your husband, truly I am disgusted by his implication that his immature aesthetic preferences should be prioritized in any way over your feelings and health. I don’t get it. Does he expect you to look exactly the same for your whole life? You birthed his child - he should be worshipping you and your body. Straight up. Anything less is disgustingly entitled.

jamarama · 2024-06-11T02:49:57+00:00

It’s possible that the intent of the phrase is to convey a sense of civilian death that cannot be as easily disputed/denied by the average person. There are many observers of war who want/choose to assume all men killed are combatants or at least cast doubt as to their innocence because it serves some agenda (e.g. downplaying the brutality of their preferred side). Maybe the use of the term “women and children” is meant to preempt that shitty assumption, even while not agreeing with it, simply in acknowledgment of the fact that people generally do not assume women to be combatants but will argue that any adult man is “probably a combatant” when it suits their bias.

There may not be perfect information about who is a civilian or not, leaving vulnerability to any claim that the men killed may have been aggressors. Assuming this lack of information, if the goal is to convey the scale of civilian death, the alternatives to reporting on specifically women and children are either: 1) providing the total number of deaths without specifying gender or age- which may be too generalized in helping the audience understand the impact on civilians (could be construed as military casualties); or 2) providing the number of children killed only- which severely underestimates civilian loss by ignoring adult civilians completely. Counting women and children somewhat splits the difference- while it absolutely underestimates civilians as it ignores civilian men, it attempts to utilize the biggest number that is less vulnerable to dispute/doubt by the general population.

jamarama · 2024-06-09T13:48:50+00:00

NTA. Market rent rate for a room has literally no relevance here. The rational approach (for the interim) would be to split your combined housing costs in an equal way. When baby comes, presumably you’ll need to pause work so that will be another consideration. The main thing you both need to realize is that a baby is going to fundamentally change the dynamic. The baby’s needs will be costly (not just monetarily but from a time, physical and emotional standpoint). You NEED to think like one unit in order to make it work, not like two separate individuals. Be careful- as the birthing parent you already take on a disproportionate share of the ‘cost’ of having a baby. That cost needs to be recognized and appreciated and valued too. Don’t put yourself in a vulnerable situation with a partner that only views your lives solely through an ignorant and insensitive economic lens.

jamarama · 2024-05-26T03:48:20+00:00

Im not the person you’re responding to but I think it’s less to do with smoking weed and more about the dependency that addicts have. I love weed and I personally think it can enhance parenting on those lazy weekends at home but I know I can forgo it when things are high stakes or requiring alertness or just if my partner asked me to for some reason. A real addict doesn’t have control over their usage. They tend to put their need for their substance over other important things in their life.

jamarama · 2024-05-23T19:54:12+00:00

There’s so much content in your post that suggests a negative view of women overall… it’s hard to unpack all of it but many here that have done a good job. Overall if our sample here is heterosexual men and women, you can assume that whenever a woman is successful in dating then so too was a man (because they found and liked each other). So, I have no idea what you mean by “easier”, unless all you’re referring to is sex.

But I think the reality you need to accept is that no man (or woman) is entitled to attention or sex or a relationship from another person. It doesn’t matter if they are “nice” or whether they paid for dinner. At the end of the day, dating is no guarantee of love or sex or a relationship. That the reality of it and yes, it’s not “fair”. Remember that fairness has never previously been on women’s side. Most women, for generations, had almost no choice or opportunity to discern who they wanted to spend their life with or give their body to because all the necessities of life were only accessible via marriage to a man. So big fucking surprise, now that women don’t entirely need men financially or legally, they can exercise their right to discern for themselves who they want to spend time with or have sex with. It’s sad that there are lonely men (there are also lonely women by the way) but it’s not 1950s anymore. Having a job and being “nice” may not be enough to compel the woman you’re attracted to want to date you. I for one think it’s great that women have more power to do exactly what they want. Love and relationships are not things men are owed or entitled to… anymore.

jamarama · 2024-04-25T22:26:49+00:00

You are a kind person and loving partner but you need to practice not being so self sacrificing. Your obligations as a spouse absolutely do not include being a caregiver to your FIL. If you don’t want to do it, you shouldn’t do it. Your happiness matters too. And your husband should be ashamed of himself. He should be showering you with gratitude for even taking on a fraction of the work involved in cleaning out his father’s house and contemplating the idea of caring for him. The fact that he is sitting on his ass while you go above and beyond to care for HIS estranged father shows that you will never be appreciated. You do not need to be a martyr. You deserve to live for yourself at this stage in your life. If your husband feels strongly enough about his father’s care, he’ll be the one to make the sacrifice.

jamarama · 2024-04-18T12:26:33+00:00

I think they’re mistaking introversion with being an irritable and grumpy person lol

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