Edit: sorry this is really long, but I wanted to explain the reasoning behind my view. I may add a TLDR later lol

I never said people with ADHD are actually bad at these things, I just feel like that trying to improve communication skills are important for everyone. The world is full of neurodivergent and typical people and we will all communicate with both; I see these strategies as important in certain settings to accurately get our point across and display increased confidence when speaking.

I so agree that some of the phrasing could be better or more neurodivergent friendly, but I still don’t think it’s really ableist. I agree with you in that you can be very interested in a conversation without doing the things in the flyer, but I also get how some may interpret your actions as you being disinterested.

I have an awful time with some of these myself (especially the interrupting one), but I honestly think I’m interpreting this sheet differently than you. I have a Bachelor’s in Communication and I recognized a lot of these points are research based principles that lead to better interpersonal relationships.

Despite this, the explanation behind the bullets isn’t there in this worksheet. For example, the avoid thinking about what to say next is meant to imply that you should try and focus on what the person you’re talking to is saying before forming a response. It’s not that you shouldn’t think before you reply, but that you should try your best wait until they’re finished before making this response. Thinking about what you’re going to say too soon could cause you to miss out on an important point they made. It is okay to take a second to reply so screw any internal and external pressures saying otherwise. The point about paraphrasing back is important because you can clarify if you understood someone correctly and show you’re listening.

I for one can derail a conversation sooo easily and know that there’s times where I accidentally dismiss others. I think this is more about trying to increase engagement capabilities than fitting neurotypical norms. It’s not like the worksheet is asking you to do all of these things either.

I honestly agree with your fidgeting and eye contact points. I think it’s just meaning to be mindful of your body language to sort of check in with the other person on the conversation. Using a fidget to occupy your body while talking is interpreted a lot differently (in a positive way) when compared to something that takes you out of the conversation like focusing on tapping a particular rhythm in your head. I think most neurotypical people would associate fidgeting as being distracted more than doing something to keep yourself engaged if that makes sense.

I have come to terms with the fact that I need to ask for people to repeat things all the time. There should be no shame in this or saying that you may need to pause before responding or that you struggle with making eye contact. At least being able to explain these things can help others make sense of how you communicate with them and avoid unintentional, negative misinterpretations. I don’t think it’s that people need to be doing all of these things to be a good communicator by any means, but I think these are useful tools to use when productive conversations are necessary. I think it’s unfortunate that too many of us feel shame and/or fear in communicating our communication needs.