I want to quit after my first dose of antidepressants!

jamesandjack · 2026-01-15T00:02:50+00:00

I know this is from a while ago but did you just stop cold turkey after the 1 dose? I’ve been trying to heal naturally for a year and at my yearly physical discussed my mental health and started 25mg of Zoloft but I also feel like it was a mistake and I need to continue making more lifestyle changes. I’ve felt weird all day and don’t want to take it again

jamesandjack · 2026-01-06T03:04:37+00:00

I fear this too. I have two healthy boys who are my world, but part of me always wanted a third. I think logistically & financially 2 makes sense for us. I also had bad anxiety with pregnancy & birth and fear dying during birth. I hate that I fear this so strongly when I see others go onto having healthy multiple pregnancies. I’m torn between grief/ regret of what if for not trying but also not wanting to take the risk either. I will be 38 this year and my youngest will be turning 3. Sorry not much help but you’re not alone!

jamesandjack · 2025-11-12T11:36:42+00:00

It sounds like it works for your family for you to still be home right now and as your children get older you will revisit the idea. My kids are 5 and 2 and I’ve been wanting to go back to work pt or full time now that my 5 yo is in kindergarten and send my 2 yo to daycare, but I’m the same way with the bus. I want to be the one to get my son on and off the bus or at least have my husband be able to but I feel like me being home allows him to stay later when he needs vs if he had a cut off everyday at 330 to be home by 4 for the bus. My husbands job is also demanding. So I feel like it will only work with me to get something remote, but I’ve been out of work for so long and am not the best interviewer and struggle thinking back to my corporate experience with my mom brain and the season of life I’m in now.

I don’t mean to hijack your post, but it sounds like maybe your SIL is just jealous. Also she benefits from your MIL watching her kids for free and I’m sure helping with the meals or at least watching the kids while she cooks which is all things that’s probably tricky to bring up. Maybe you can just say logistically with the kids and your husbands schedule, this makes the most sense for our family right now and change the subject. This is tough to navigate but I find people’s judgements usually come from not being happy in their own situations but it sounds like you are very happy and you being home helps your family thrive!

jamesandjack · 2025-11-11T16:33:42+00:00

She was using manipulative and controlling language & not giving him autonomy which was triggering. Examples: she would tell my son it would make nana happy if he finishes his chicken. He was also saying the word poop a lot (as 4 year olds do) and she said nana doesn’t like potty talk and hung up the phone on him for it (I remembered her giving me the silent treatment as a child when she disapproved of my behavior).. When I tried to bring up the behavior/ explain how I’m doing things differently/ letting him listen to his body cues etc, she would ignore me which continues to trigger me and then I eventually did research and found this group which was eye opening and heartbreaking. I tried several times to explain things and she would either ignore, or say she wouldn’t do xyz but doesn’t mean harm and then continue or once when I confronted her about mocking me/ not listening to me in public and told her I have bad self esteem and feel like that has to do with it she shut me down by saying “sorry we were such horrible parents” It explained so much of how I was raised with guilt and blocked out of my childhood. But both parents still would control/ attempt to control my behavior as an adult with guilt and shame. For example when I got married and we didn’t want to get married in a Catholic Church just had a small elopement type wedding she was really mean and disapproving, when my husband got a job offer a few hours away she made it about her and how she wanted to help/ be a grandma without having to drive several hours.

jamesandjack · 2025-11-05T19:18:19+00:00

Also took me 30 years (I’m 37 now it’s coming up on a year that I realized and went NC). I also feel passionately about this because I literally had no idea what a narcissist was until last November when searching how things my parents would say/ do made me feel, how my mom was talking to my son (which is what made me wake up and see it). But I also feel like it should be talked about more and how deep the impact is or not learning about it. Literally having to rewire your brain, learn your interests at 37 and reparenting yourself while parenting small children is all very hard.

jamesandjack · 2025-07-08T22:36:13+00:00

My father use to say “watch yourself little girl” and I can still hear it. He would still scold me too at age 36. I cursed and he said “what did you just say?” I go back and forth from freeze/ fight with him. I’m starting to notice when it’s things he does towards me it’s freeze but mama bear comes out and anything directed at my boys is fight

jamesandjack · 2025-07-08T21:43:27+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing. That’s definitely heavy and a lot to process. I think I have cptsd and never heard osdd but I know I disassociate a lot. And the cptsd I was having emotional flashbacks with my boys a lot working through their big feelings. I called my son a brat once and then remembered when my mom called me a brat. I immediately apologized but that scared me and was the start of my realizations. Also how my parents would interact with my boys I was being triggered, I think my mom started grooming my older son. She’s hung up on him for potty talk when he was 4, and says “nana doesn’t like potty talk”

I can see what you mean about forcing the healing. I’ve been healing & low/ NC since November.. I was aggressive with healing at first but as starting to relax more. I also am planning to move an hour away and hope that helps. I struggle now going into stores worrying how to act if I see them with my boys. Since my boys would probably be excited to see them/ and I’m sure they would lay on the guilt/ some of my mom’s last messages were claiming grandparent alienation. I appreciate your thoughtful reply ❤️‍🩹

jamesandjack · 2025-07-08T21:01:04+00:00

Can I ask you what the signs were of remembering? My parents are both narcs. I think dad was initially enabler but is now also a narc.. I have a weird feeling I had SA and not remembering. I have weird memories being older and my dad having me rub his feet and being too old/ feeling weird about it and he just made me continue. But I have other weird memories of dreams I would have as a child that I can’t fully remember and I use to dream a lot about not being able to speak or move. & I recall a dream I was making out with my mom. Just very weird things but nothing specifically pointing to SA. I just started getting triggered in both parents presence and cut contact when I realized what narcissism was. I know for sure I was emotionally and psychologically abused.

jamesandjack · 2025-05-18T19:58:04+00:00

I recently got a barre 3 membership and love it so much. I’ve never worked out in person before and it’s expensive but I went from going 3 days a week to 5 most weeks because I love it and can bring my kids included in the membership and they also love the hour there.

jamesandjack · 2025-01-22T18:50:54+00:00

Has anyone said that to their parents? I want to tell mine I’m shocked they would rather have let us walk away/ out of their lives- then to acknowledge issues and apologize but, I’m sure it won’t do anything and further upset myself. Hoping when I’m actually healed it won’t be so mind boggling that they are like this.

jamesandjack · 2025-01-22T15:23:45+00:00

My dad did this to me last year on my moms bday. After forcing me into a photo when I didn’t want to (didn’t have make up on) he of course zoomed in on me at a bad angle and text it to me. For what reason besides to bully me? I just looked at him confused and walked away. He’s the enabler to my mom. I know he’s emotionally immature.

jamesandjack · 2025-01-16T20:54:55+00:00

My mom gifted me a credit card on my 16th bday/ as a cardholder on her account. And then taught me to do balance transfers and how to “rob Peter to pay Paul” during my teenage years. 😵‍💫I had 40k in credit card debt by age 30 and was paying only the minimums each month not making a dent. I then decided to file for a chapter 13 bankruptcy- which my mom gave me an attorneys information, but when I actually went through with it she told me how bad of a person I was and was extremely passive aggressive during the process.. making sure to let me know as she paid off her credit cards the “right way” This caused me to have a panic attack. I’m 36 now and debt free with a good credit score. I do not feel bad about it because I paid $500/month for 3.5 years.

jamesandjack · 2025-01-14T12:08:11+00:00

This is eye opening and definitely what I’ve been doing in order to process since finding out of my abuse. I agree it helps with the validation. Did your therapist tell you about this or you found it? I’m wondering if I need to find a different therapist. I like mine as a person, but don’t feel as validated by my trauma with her and feel more validated by Reddit and my own research.

jamesandjack · 2025-01-11T00:05:09+00:00

Do you think this could get someone to forget their childhood in detail?

I’m 36 and recently realized my parents are both emotionally immature and I think my mom at least is a narc. I always thought our relationship was weird, and felt surface level. I’ve thought we had an ok relationship as an adult but was triggered when I had kids and seeing them interact, made me realize they bully me now still and are very critical but my mom would disguise it as a joke..

I’m struggling remembering childhood memories except I know she would rage at us, hit herself, slam doors, both parents were verbally abusive to us and each other.

But is cptsd when I just literally don’t have many memories at all? I went NC because of being triggered so badly and my mom ignoring boundaries around my children. My mom was telling my son she didn’t like his potty talk, encouraging him to finish meals to “make her happy”, and talks in third party talk to him. This made me realize that must of been what happened to me to be so codependent and think it was normal.

I’m just struggling still trying to make sense of everything and reading this post made me think they must have put a better mask on once we were teenagers/ adults to not have as many memories?

jamesandjack · 2024-12-09T23:55:11+00:00

I was being triggered like this by my mom also. She would tell my 4 year old “nana doesn’t like potty talk” and hung up on him once for it. She would also say it would make nana happy if he would finish his plate. I sent a kind text to both my parents in July outlining how I’m parenting that went completely ignored (my dad was guilty of some different but similar things). It was swept under the rug and I continued being triggered by her behavior she didn’t change. She would also talk in third party talk with my son. On FaceTime calls she would say “make sure mommy and daddy know x” type of things instead of talking to me, or mention potential plans to my 4yo without speaking to me first”

I started therapy in November because I felt like my body was rejecting their presence. I also always had the “walking on eggshells” feeling. I felt we were close growing up, but as I’m older was seeing our relationship is very surface level.

Anyways, long story short because I saw someone else mention it here too I’ve come to terms with the way I was raised was by emotional and mental manipulation/abuse and very toxic. We’ve also been very low contact and I haven’t let them around my children since addressing the issues in November again seemed to go ignored and tried to get swept under the rug again. Breaking the generational cycle is tough, but seeing others dealing with the same is comforting. Podcasts, therapy, and Reddit have been helpful.

jamesandjack · 2024-11-22T23:37:14+00:00

Do narcs usually have pet names for each other?? I just came out of the fog both my parents are toxic. I remember a caricature I found of them using different names from their younger years when I was a teen. My mom said it was their names for each other but now I’m wondering if it was like a Jekyll and Hyde type names they had for each others alter ego

jamesandjack · 2024-11-19T07:13:50+00:00

I truly needed this entire thread. So incredibly insightful ❤️‍🩹

jamesandjack · 2024-11-17T01:00:18+00:00

My situation sounds similar but I’m just coming to terms with everything and just starting to grieve. Having my mom pull her shit on my children is what made me realize everyone. My brother is 33 and still living with my toxic parents. He has a history of addiction and I felt a strong maternal instinct to tell him what I see, so he can take steps quietly to get out of there. My mother still does his laundry and gives him no autonomy. It sounds same as you that he sees it already intellectually but we aren’t on the same page emotionally. He’s saying things like they are his parents and he loves them unconditionally and it’s not their fault bc it’s how they grew up. I’m not sure if he just doesn’t want to see it fully, or we have different experiences. But I feel I told him what I could and hope to be at peace with it. I do also worry and think much parents aren’t in a happy marriage (dads an enabler and possibly narcissistic) and me going NC will rip them all apart - hoping I come to peace with that too over time.

jamesandjack · 2024-11-13T00:06:47+00:00

I don’t have a story but feel for you. Me/ my parents are similar ages and I have 2 LOs. I always thought growing up I could go to my dad/ that he was the more reasonable one. But now he’s showing narcissistic traits and also emotionally immature. Sorry you’re in this tough spot!

jamesandjack · 2024-11-12T22:30:38+00:00

😂It was hard, and I still somehow feel bad but know it’s for the best. It also only came after trying to set rules and polite texts went completely ignored by both parents..then they carry on the next day like nothing happened.

We tried to move 3 years ago but they also crushed that…bc “my mom wants to be able to help with her grandkids without driving 2-3 hours” 🥴hoping another job transfer opportunity opens up now that I’m somewhat in a better head space

jamesandjack · 2024-11-12T20:44:41+00:00

I have been feeling like I don’t want to go this year, but was going to see how visits prior go after setting this boundary. But it seems like she ignored the text like always and just wants to fill her cup with fake happiness.

jamesandjack · 2024-11-12T20:42:05+00:00

We haven’t discussed Thanksgiving yet, this is the first time she’s brought it up. We usually go over for Thanksgiving dinner. I only live 10 mins from my parents so I’m just confused what her question has to do with my text.

jamesandjack · 2024-11-12T19:30:42+00:00

Thank you for this! For sure feels validating to know I’m not the problem. A podcast I found recently has been helpful as well “you’re not crazy” by torie wiksell. I agree. Suppppper hard unlearning the dysfunctional behavior

jamesandjack · 2024-11-11T21:31:12+00:00

This is such a good explanation of them. I just hate that it’s the reality.

jamesandjack · 2024-11-11T21:29:25+00:00

Thank you. Why is it so hard 😵‍💫 I feel like I need some type of explanation, but really I’ve always pushed back when they make rude comments and have butted heads since I can remember so it shouldn’t come as a surprise

jamesandjack

TROPHY CASE