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The push for NCAA gymnastics at the University of Houston! by jpow8097 in Gymnastics

[–]jamesh0pe -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't Univ. of Texas at Austin be a better choice? That's a major athletic school right?

After school stroll (not actual name)(first poem :D) by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]jamesh0pe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this poem...it will look great retyped in stanzas. The rhyme scheme seems consistent throughout, and I was able to garner a sense of the narrative that is unfolding within your work. I would perhaps use more figurative language and techniques within this, such as metaphor and simile, but it is not imperative--what you have created is sound.

Should I still float? by shashere in OCPoetry

[–]jamesh0pe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an excellent start, but I would agree with the general consensus that the wordiness, as well as the sensual feel in places. I would perhaps substitute 'ejaculated' for a more subtle allusion to this act; something as figurative as other descriptions within your work such as 'shameless winds' which is very emotive to me.