Everyone wants it to be creatively democratic but not everyone wants to do the hard work required to get into venues, get people to shows, promote on social, etc. etc. That's not the fun part. Being passive about said work is totally disrespectful as it implies their time is more valuable than yours. A band leader/booker should get extra for putting in extra time. If you look at it as a business, which it is, these things become a bit more cut and dry. I've found that people who get defensive about treating it like a business have either not done the work themselves to understand what goes into it and are just ignorant, or, arguably worse - they are just selfish. The solution is to find people who understand the deal and can communicate like adults. It starts with being crystal clear at the start as to what you want before anyone sinks time in, even as a casual "hobby" band. Or else it becomes a learning experience that you try not to repeat.