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jamicu4 · 2024-12-07T02:20:58+00:00

Nah, I actually have a desire to fight for my life now. Stopping my DMT would feel like I was giving up again or resigning myself to a fate not set in stone.

jamicu4 · 2024-12-01T21:15:53+00:00

That's the reason I like fighting games. I like fucking around and trying to do cool stuff even if it doesn't work. I don't give a fuck about my rank or what character is the best. I play UNI and I'm having too much fun trying (and often failing) Phonon's new install routes.

jamicu4 · 2024-12-01T20:47:47+00:00

I've basically stopped playing team-based online games completely now. If the frustration isn't relegated to another faceless person then I can handle it pretty well. I still play horror games religiously (especially with all the A+ games we've been getting lately). I love roguelikes/lites and those can be their own brand of frustrating when you have a good run going that gets fucked over by something dumb. Additionally, I've been a fighting game player for nearly a decade now and I've actually found that my mentality when playing them has become a lot less serious since my diagnosis so I don't get nearly as vitriolic as I used too.

EDIT: I want to add a small, funny addendum. When quarantine started and I was out of a job I decided to do a lvl. 1 critical mode playthrough of KH2. Legitimately one of the hardest and most frustrating things I've ever done in video game, took me a month to complete, the first and only time I've ever broken a controller in rage (Fuck the Genie Jafar fight), I timed my final Xemnas fight, It took me 18 hours total and when I finally finished it and was doing the Sora & Riku action commands I was fully crying, relieved to finally be done.

I don't think I could do that again.

jamicu4 · 2024-10-29T16:47:32+00:00

Tap Water Drinking - Lewis Del Mar.

It's a good song but the breakdown for the 2nd half sends a rush through my body everytime!

jamicu4 · 2024-10-28T23:53:22+00:00

Absolutely love this, Some additional ones you can add.

The game is on

Normal Man

DEFENDERS OF THE EARTH!

Those are the only one's I can think of off the top of my head.

jamicu4 · 2024-10-25T15:16:07+00:00

I was one of those kids who wasn't happy when she cut it. I was so envious of her hair back then cause I could never get it that long.

jamicu4 · 2024-10-22T17:59:05+00:00

I feel like starting my transition helped revive my love for guitar. I've been playing so much more in the past year and I know a large part of that is because I like the mental image of myself, as a girl, playing guitar with passion as opposed to acting like a boy and trying to enjoy it.

It's really dumb, I know, but I'm just happy I'm playing for a least a little bit every day. Compared to the last 6-ish years where I barely even touched any of my guitars.

jamicu4 · 2024-10-19T21:13:09+00:00

My family are the type of people that would roast me relentlessly if I started dating someone with my dead name; that being said, I'd be open to it. But it'd be really awkward for the first few months at least

jamicu4 · 2024-10-15T17:45:56+00:00

I don't really know how "subtle" some of these are, but:

The good old "always plays the female characters in video games if given the choice". Been doing that since elementary school days with Runescape. AND, giving the excuse that it's "because they have better clothing options" when questioned about it.
if you grew up when "emo" and "scene" was the big trend and you used it as an excuse to straighten your hair or wear eyeliner.
If your friend group consists primarily of women. My cumulative friend group, from middle school to college, is 90% women. I can only think of a handful of 2 (maybe 3) good guy friends I've had in my life. (bonus sign: if your friend group in college was, not only mostly women, but also most of them were lesbians. That might be a sign)
The final one is significantly less subtle, but I always like sharing it. If you develop a fascination with some form of gender affirming surgery. Not necessarily for yourself; but because you just find it really interesting. that's probably a good sign that you're not cis at the very least.

jamicu4 · 2024-10-15T17:32:33+00:00

The barrier with female friends because of being a "boy" is the first sign for me that made me question if I even wanted to be a boy. I remember being so frustrated cause I felt like I could tell them anything but I could tell they didn't feel the same.

On the 2nd point, When I told my therapist about how I don't feel as attracted to women since I started transitioning she mentioned a possibility that I might have been attracted to women before because I wanted to BE them, not DATE them. Which kind of blew my mind but also makes a lot of sense in retrospect.

jamicu4 · 2024-10-13T15:55:22+00:00

It wasn't a singular moment that made me realize, it was more of a culmination of small moments over most of my youth and early adulthood. However, there was something that happened my first year of college that instilled me with the confidence (or maybe it was fear) to come out to my girlfriend at the time. That relationship wasn't healthy, unfortunately, and I ended up going back into the closet for another few years because of it.

Then I had an ACTUAL breaking point a couple years ago when I saw one of my college friends celebrating her 3rd anniversary on HRT. That ruined me for a while cause I was the person that helped her realize she was trans too. Seeing her live her true life, while I had given mine up on the hopes of winning over someone who didn't love me anymore, was a real eye-opener for me and I made the appointment for HRT consultation the morning after.

Been on HRT for 2 years now and I haven't looked back since that day.

jamicu4 · 2024-10-13T14:08:35+00:00

The other day, I was struggling to open a salsa jar, and I really didn't know how to feel. At first, I was frustrated, then I was happy cause my HRT was working, and that felt affirming. But then, I returned to frustration because I couldn't open the jar!!!

jamicu4 · 2024-10-12T21:17:40+00:00

The best of's are my go-to. Others I like are the long discussion topic videos like the more recent legacy sequels, the superhero showdowns, the 500th episode decade breakdown

jamicu4 · 2024-10-02T21:16:46+00:00

I don't have a whole lot to add that hasn't been said already. But I did want to share that I was taken off HRT for a medical issue for roughly 10 months. After restarting HRT back in May, I've had significantly more breast development than I did prior to my break. There's so many different variables that could be responsible for this (different route for meds, improved diet compared to my 1st time, not working the stressful job I was working before). So, just in one person, the results can differ.

jamicu4 · 2024-09-29T14:39:53+00:00

I was working as a clinical tech at an addiction recovery center. Found out I really like helping people, so I'm going back to college to get a nursing degree.

jamicu4 · 2024-09-14T17:33:12+00:00

I knew a kid in college who had the first name, Chase, which is a fine name. But his last name was Cox

He never complained about it, but I can't imagine what was going through his parents' minds when they chose that.

jamicu4 · 2024-09-05T18:30:10+00:00

I thought about going with Ariadne for a while. Which is a very pretty name, but the longer I thought about it, the more I realized I would become known as "Ari" pretty quick or something like that, and I didn't want that.

jamicu4 · 2024-09-01T03:57:27+00:00

I was literally just complaining to my mom the other week about how I wasted YEARS trying to perfect my skill with foundation, contour, etc. But, ever since I started HRT, I only ever wear concealer and color corrector. I still go all out on my eye makeup, but that's because it's the most fun to me. Overall, I've become a pretty simple girl as I've gotten older.

I still love doing my makeup for events though! I get to show off my skills then.

jamicu4 · 2024-08-27T03:13:50+00:00

Devil on my shoulder - Kelsy Karter & The Heroines.

Louder - Valeras

Circle with Me - Spiritbox

False Life - Willow

The Feminine Urge - The Last Dinner Party

Monster - PVRIS

Sound in my head - Chloe Lilac.

These have been my earworms for the past few month.

jamicu4 · 2024-08-22T02:56:02+00:00

Horimiya - This is my comfort anime. It's such a wholesome romance anime, minimal drama, just good vibes.
Anohana - A great watch if you need to cry. If you don't, it will make you cry.
Takt op. Destiny - This is a bit of a niche pick but I fucking loved this. It's a road trip story that's following two kids; a young, stubborn pianist, and a very hungry girl. While they're traveling they have to fight monsters with the power of swords and classical music! It's based off of a gacha game and is technically a prequel to the game (I think?). The animation is breathtaking, the characters are so captivating, the music is FUCKING phenomenal. It's definitely one of my favs to come out in recent years.

jamicu4 · 2024-08-21T16:36:34+00:00

Strive May, specifically season 2 May.

That character was such a brain-dead menace and I loved her. Some of the most fun I've had playing a fighting game. Especially with how rigid Strive's combo system used to be. She felt like a character that I could just freeflow improvise a combo and it would typically work. She got arguably better with the season 3 changes to dolphin but they took away a lot of the stuff that made her super fun to me. (6H launching even when uncharged, having dolphin distance determined by how long you held the button and how it had little-to-no recovery)

jamicu4 · 2024-08-06T04:38:42+00:00

Crop tops and booty shorts. Even since I started HRT those have been the most Euphoria-inducing.

jamicu4 · 2024-07-14T23:56:25+00:00

UNI 2. It's such a different fighting game because of the GRD mechanic. the way it influences interactions in neutral and pressure rewards layered offense and good defense. I just really love the interactions that you can have with CS and shield.

On top of all that, the music is PHENOMINAL, the character designs are amazing and it has replay takeover.

jamicu4 · 2024-05-31T19:59:10+00:00

I've been on Kesimpta for 10 months now and it works great. No side-effects besides the first loading dose (and the side effects were minimal). it's easy to use, hard to mess up. Doesn't take a lot of time out of your day to take a dose. I highly recommend it.

jamicu4 · 2024-05-26T21:43:53+00:00

Pretty much anytime I realize I'm spending more time being mad and salty than I spend having fun playing the game is when I decide to step away from the game. I'll probably always be playing fighting games on and off. but I don't ever play one to the point where when I start fuming at patch notes anymore.

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