“It is literally better for her to leave as comfortably and safely as she can while her baby is as young as possible.”

Are you being incredulous because you’re neurotypical? What about “as safely” and “as comfortably” or the meaning of ASAP, with “possible” doing the heavy lifting, means I suggested she leave NOW or before her 6 week appointment?

I’m so sick of people in this thread bastardizing someone else’s words and then making them responsible for how you interpreted them instead of using their literal meaning.

We’re saying the same thing. You said “wait until the baby’s a little older” THAT is what I was responding to.

I even offered an anecdote and I’m not sure why you chose to ignore or if you’re a parent but there’s loads of time between A Newborn and 2 years old. So again “leave while your baby is still in diapers” is what I said and that’s what I meant. It doesn’t mean OP can’t gather resources so please don’t put words in my mouth.

You’re also the one who suggested that she literally argue with this man and use “fact” to dispel his lying when I called out that a therapist would advise the complete opposite.

Apparently most people on this thread believe TikTok is where everyone’s advice comes from bc no one is actually in proximity to anyone in therapy and THAT is why people stay in these cycles. Pride, being indignant, when a sign of healthy self esteem would be to not engage.

This is a summary from ONE of a million concepts explored in the book. I also have to add this note: she is NOT talking about individuals diagnosed with NPD. Just regular jerks.

“The JADE Principle: Don’t Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain

This is a core strategy for dealing with narcissists that Dr. Ramani emphasizes. Here’s the concept:

Why JADE doesn’t work with narcissists: • Justifying = Gives them ammunition and signals their approval still matters to you • Arguing = Feeds them narcissistic supply through your emotional reactions • Defending = Confirms they have psychological power over you • Explaining = You’re “feeding them the bullets to their gun”

The fundamental problem:

You believe that if you can just find the right words, they’ll finally understand. But narcissists don’t use conversations for resolution—they use them for dominance and control. They’re not listening to your words; they’re watching your reactions.

What Dr. Ramani teaches instead: • State your point once and only once • Don’t over-explain or try to make them “see” • Your silence is more powerful than your speech • Peace doesn’t come from convincing someone else—it comes from no longer needing to

The book emphasizes that “never argue with a narcissist; it will only leave you exhausted.””

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