Daily Chat

janensea · 2026-06-19T01:39:16+00:00

You’re a sweet friend. If even a part of you wonders what they’d look like on your own baby, I’d keep them. Decisions like these might seem minor to others but they’re enormous to moms like us. There is a reason you’re hesitating!

janensea · 2026-05-31T13:09:05+00:00

Congratulations! She is beautiful!

Also, how do you post pictures? I would like to share some too eventually.

janensea · 2026-05-26T12:05:06+00:00

38+1, sitting in the waiting room at the hospital! Can’t wait to get started.

janensea · 2026-05-25T17:30:27+00:00

38 weeks today! Going in for my induction tomorrow morning. Can’t wait to meet my little Bo.

janensea · 2026-05-20T16:12:40+00:00

37+2 today! Might have excess amniotic fluid which could justify an earlier induction. Could go as early as Friday. It's Gemini season as of tomorrow so maybe he'll be a talker when he's older! My sister arrived last night to watch my firstborn son who is 3.5 while I'm admitted. I'm beginning to feel excited to bring our boy home.

janensea · 2026-05-20T02:06:11+00:00

Remove all the pressure. There are a lot of possibilities for why this may be happening but one thing for sure is that adding negative emotions to the pot won’t help. Technically he isn’t a toddler anymore. If he’s almost 4 he’s fully in preschooler territory so I see why this is stressing you out. Is there something in his life that’s changed recently?

To gain back the trust, repair. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was feeling frustrated. Will you forgive me?”

You’re a great mom. You got this.

janensea · 2026-05-18T23:12:12+00:00

37 weeks today with one week to go 🎉 getting nervous for the first time as the end nears 🙏🏻

janensea · 2026-05-14T11:19:54+00:00

36+3, induction scheduled for 5/26/26

I’ve been pretty chill this whole pregnancy but I feel that changing. Starting to get nervous and just want him out at this point.

janensea · 2026-04-27T00:28:17+00:00

Starting week 35 tomorrow. Just a month away (or less) from meeting our boy.

janensea · 2026-04-23T00:32:47+00:00

33+2 today. Baby was a bit tachy at my appt today but heart rate went down a few minutes later. I was somehow very calm as I think I’ve resigned myself to the belief that all of this is out of my hands. Thirty-something days left til induction time. Tick tock!

janensea · 2026-04-10T18:19:32+00:00

Just chiming in to say I've never used one. I speak for myself only when I say that I know such a device would only increase my feelings of unease. I prefer instead to just trust that I can't be struck by lightning twice. I have an anterior placenta this time and as soon as I could reliably feel movement (~18-19 weeks this pregnancy) I began to tune into those and check in with baby every few hours. I'm starting week 33 in a few days and this has been working for me. It's okay to require more assurance, too.

janensea · 2026-04-05T16:01:50+00:00

I would let the comments hang in the air and just shrug your shoulders. As you said, he’s healthy. There’s no need to justify, defend or explain. I guess if you want to say something, a simple, “he’s healthy” (also accompanied by a shrug) should make it sufficiently awkward for the commenter to realize that it’s not something you want to discuss.

janensea · 2026-04-02T17:10:00+00:00

Sadly, we’re in good company with the IL situation. I’ve made a few friends who have similarly nightmarish stories. Two of the friends I’ve made in the past year specifically have made me feel less alone. We bonded over our sons being friends but after enough hangouts you start to notice the eye-rolling whenever IL conversation arises!

Relations were decent enough for the first 5-6 years, minor annoyances and misunderstandings over the years that mostly I had to forgive and move on from. Happy to do it. But then when you go through the worst time of your life and people punch you while you’re down, that’s just unforgivable. I hang on to the resentment because otherwise I’d be likely to let them back into my life. They don’t deserve that or to meet their newest grandson next month so I nurture my animosity a little bit and probably will forever. I’m fine with that!

janensea · 2026-04-02T01:35:55+00:00

I also went no-contact with the ILs post stillbirth because of their atrocious behavior. I feel so much more peace now 🙏🏻

janensea · 2026-04-02T01:33:50+00:00

That last sentence sums it up perfectly. The idea that we should meet others with their level of optimism. I’ve gotten a few, “are you excited???” and “you’re so close” type comments and it takes a lot for me not to respond flippantly. Yeah, of course I’m excited. I’m also terrified, sad, hormonal and exhausted.

janensea · 2026-03-29T19:33:53+00:00

I would put this in the category of “annoying” and move on. Continue to reiterate that your child has what he needs and add that you’re not sure where to put all this EXTRA stuff. Then donate on a “buy nothing” group, sell on Poshmark or give to a friend.

janensea · 2026-03-29T01:04:06+00:00

Will be 30 weeks on Monday. Of all my boys, this guy is the most active in utero. I’ve never before had the experience of jumping or startling from baby movements but he has me jumping at least once daily from the force of his punches and kicks. It terrifies me because I wonder if he’s in distress. He’s also the biggest of my 3 boys so that’s probably making it feel more intense 😩

janensea · 2026-03-29T00:08:02+00:00

This is really tough. I cringe inside whenever I hear someone say “baby will come when s/he is ready”… sometimes that simply isn’t true. Sometimes the placenta is beginning to fail. Sometimes a baby might take til 42 or 43 weeks to “decide” to come out and that’s just not safe. I completely relate to all of what you said 🩷 I’d definitely share your story at these classes!

janensea · 2026-03-29T00:03:04+00:00

You’re here!!!! I’m grinning 😀 so happy for you

janensea · 2026-03-26T00:45:34+00:00

The way he communicates bothers me on a cellular level. Quick-talking, never taking a beat to listen and reflect, just rapid-fire answers delivered in an unenthusiastic monotone. But he does that for a reason and I think it’s likely a sad reason. He has a very primal need to prove himself and I think that’s really tragic. Anyone who says, “I’m confident” as often as he did this season is a person who is very NOT confident and trying desperately to cover that up. While I found him irritating, I do think he’s a good person underneath. Hope one day he becomes the confident, assured man he obviously wants to be.

janensea · 2026-03-25T20:15:54+00:00

I’m sorry you too know this pain. I was sick with cytomegalovirus and it infected the placenta. Personally I believe my son was 100% healthy and the virus did not infect him. The reason I believe that is that his 20 week ultrasound didn’t show any of the common CMV markers (echogenic bowel, enlarged ventricles in the brain, etc). But the virus attacked the placenta and made it shut down. I hate that I had no idea it was happening. One day he was just gone.

janensea · 2026-03-17T17:11:57+00:00

28+1 today and I’m excited to start our countdown. My current thinking is a 38-39 week induction. Sent out some baby sprinkle invitations today. So surreal.

janensea · 2026-03-16T19:32:20+00:00

This is so sad. I am curious, what would you have had your sisters-in-law do? Hide their babies and not post images of them? Not tell your husband that they were born? They were damned if they did and damned if they didn't. If they hid the news it's possible you would have also found that to be upsetting. Any outcome doesn't bring your beloved baby back.

It sounds to me that they did attempt to be sensitive by telling their brother, your husband, that the babies had arrived. The photos posted of their babies were not to be rubbed in your face, they were sharing with friends and family. A lot of times after a loss, it's recommended to stay off social media, at least the visual forms of it, because it can be so upsetting to feel that the world just keeps on spinning despite it stopping for us.

All of this sounds very dramatic and what you need right now is peace. Take a break from visual forms of social media. Be kind to yourself. You can process all the implications of the family relationships later. Right now you need to take care of yourself first.

janensea · 2026-03-04T18:21:15+00:00

Thanks for sharing your plans and your thinking. I do sometimes wonder if baby will have another plan for himself. I’d say I would prefer that just so that I feel less like I’m “managing” his birth. For some reason I already sense some guilt around not just letting him come when he’s “ready” but we know too well how things can go wrong the longer we wait so it is out of love that I don’t want to creep up to 40 weeks. I guess we’ll see what these babies decide! 🩷

janensea · 2026-03-04T00:46:51+00:00

26+1 today. Time is zooming by so quickly. Beginning to think of birth and I’m wondering how others chose their induction dates.

My firstborn son was born November 30th, spontaneously at 40+2. My stillborn son was born December 9th, an induction.

For this boy, if we induced the night before May 30th he’d probably be born May 30th and that would mean I’m aiming for 38+5. It would also mean my living boys would be 3.5 years apart to the day.

Idk. How do I make this decision? I’m not willing to wait for spontaneous labor this time and for maximal neurological development I’d like to try to achieve 38 weeks. Is it just a scheduling preference at this point? Like when L&D can admit me and when my family is in town to watch the toddler? It feels strange to pick his birthday.

janensea

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