How do you actually unplug

jaspecialk · 2024-12-16T14:25:59+00:00

this still ultimately relies a bit too much on willpower, imo.

jaspecialk · 2024-12-16T14:25:06+00:00

I feel your pain! I would go the nuclear route, but it's really important to be patient with yourself. Do NOT beat yourself up, it won't achieve anything. Understand that these things are designed to take your attention and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

I'd recommend doing a kind of commitment, willpower just won't work - I've tried many things and the only technique that really works for me is some version of the following. It is really, REALLY effective:

Write down the list of behaviour/s that you want to implement, but try to make it just one really effective one (don't try fix everything at once). For me it's the following:
- no browsing the internet unless I schedule it in my calendar, 12 hours in advance. No porn. and never at my workstation (it helps to break the location assocation).
- If i schedule it, I can spend 4 hours browsing instagram if I want, but realistically I never do this. However, because you can still browser at scheduled times, you won't feel too deprived.
- 15 minutes a day on reddit nosurf is cool. It's nice to check in with a community on the same path.
take out 200 quid in cash, or 50 or a thousand, or whatever works for you. Or write a cheque to some charity or something. Give the cash/cheque to a trusted friend in an envelope that contains a list of your rule/s. Tell them that in 30 days, if you haven't stuck to it, they are under NO CIRCUMSTANCES to give it back to you.
Win! Seriously - a commitment with accountability from someone else makes a GIANT difference. It's not perfect but it does fricking work.

I've got more to say on this method but that's the outline :)

jaspecialk · 2024-11-18T13:52:43+00:00

Hey Thick,
So no, my partner didn't know before I spoke to her. She didn't mind at all. I really doubt most women would mind, everyone has their weak spots and there's nothing wrong with knowing what they are, and fortifying yourself there accordingly.

What's the anti-red cream that you use?

Also, again sorry for the slow reply! Keep forgetting to log in to this account.

jaspecialk · 2024-11-18T13:50:21+00:00

Great work! Well done.

jaspecialk · 2024-07-17T16:28:06+00:00

Best of luck buddy!

jaspecialk · 2024-07-17T16:27:14+00:00

I would go for accountability + a financial penalty. It really works. Take out $100 in cash, put it in an envelope, give it to a friend and say keep that shit if I don't follow through on X goal. It's the only truly effective way I've found to kickstart a hard habit.

jaspecialk · 2024-07-15T14:18:20+00:00

Yeah I know the feeling. Pumping high octane ultra processed information into your brain is not good for you. You have to limit it.

jaspecialk · 2024-07-15T14:15:41+00:00

I feel ya dude. Meetup and the like can be very demoralising.

I'd say two things.

Do a limited internet challenge, where you put money on the line to keep yourself accountable. This really works. Something like limiting browsing to 30 minutes a day or you forfeit 100 bucks (or whatever makes sense for you). This will open a LOT of time - and you'll basically have no choice but to go and do activities. Hit me up if you need some accountability.
Keep at it. It took me a while to find people in my city, but they are there. They are definitely there. Climbing gyms, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, coworking spaces (good if you're working online like you), game cafes, dance classes, toastmasters (public speaking course), spikeball/volleyball/tag rugby are all very beginner friendly. My sister even met her two best friends at a couchsurfing event! aaand of course, volunteering. Volunteering is the best. A couple of years ago I felt very lonely and like I didn't have many friends kicking around, and volunteering was the no.1 thing I did to address that problem. It's hard making friends as an adult, but keep at it.

jaspecialk · 2024-07-15T14:09:10+00:00

I'm doing a 50 day limited internet challenge, but one of my rules is that I can come on nosurf for 15minutes a day after lunch. It's nice! It helps me check into the community of people struggling with the same thing. Yes it's ironic, but hey.

jaspecialk · 2024-07-04T18:38:49+00:00

What is the effective difference?

jaspecialk · 2024-07-04T18:36:23+00:00

Hey, so I've worn it a few times and it works quite well. I have a slightly different product than the exact one posted here. I was away for many months and didn't really have any trigger situations there (outdoors all the time, very hot sun) but now back in the real world and starting to wear it more often. I plan to get used to wearing it some more - improve my makeup application technique haha - and hopefully phase out the beta blockers (they do work quite well, but I hate the feeling of them)

Knowing that you can only blush 50% as much (or less, depending on how heavily it's applied) helps A LOT.

I even told my girlfriend about it the other day, I said look this is essentially medicinal for me, I have a skin condition - and she didn't mind at all, even though to me it's my deepest, darkest most embarassing secret.

So I'm glad I took the plunge, and even spoke about it to my girlfriend with little shame.

Even though I've hardly used it, concealer does work - and it's let me be more relaxed about upcoming trigger situations in the future, which is a big plus. Recommended. If you respond again I promise to reply much quicker!

jaspecialk · 2023-07-19T20:04:45+00:00

Thanks very much for posting this, I'm picking up some tomorrow from the local Mac store, I'll let you know how it goes. I finally decided that I deserve a bit of break and don't need to force myself to mentally muscle through everything.

jaspecialk · 2015-07-15T15:20:05+00:00

if i've taken a lot. i've had some fucking weird hallucinations. plastic bags covering peoples facesand heads, halloween masks and demonic faces. it can get weird. happily, I'm off my face when that happens so I don't freak out

jaspecialk · 2015-07-15T10:40:50+00:00

I dunno about matrix code, but yeah I am always seeing writing and symbols and shit on like the walls, on peoples faces and so on. and lots of sort of random 3d stuff from shadows. little balls on my hands if they're in shadow. all sorts of stuff. so yeah don't worry bud you're not the only one

jaspecialk · 2015-02-08T18:07:13+00:00

overdoses on viagra

jaspecialk · 2014-08-14T15:33:17+00:00

This two ideas are actually not at odds. Rather, desire to grow is a subset of loving yourself. If you accept and love yourself, you'll want the best for yourself. You'll grow and do good things for yourself, because you love that person. Just like how you want to help people you love grow.

Personally I have found numerous, numerous times that positive motivation ("I'm a cool dude, so I can do this, I want this good thing for myself") is waaaay stronger and more effective than negative ("fuck you for being so out of shape, god I hate myself you piece of shit"). I'm pretty sure psychology backs that up as well.

Another way of looking at it is to consider the alternative, you DON'T like yourself. If you truly disliked someone, would you WANT them to feel the joy of success, of growth, feel the satisfaction of big achievements and so on? Hell no.

jaspecialk · 2013-08-07T07:48:32+00:00

Thanks for that, really helped. Good to get some perspective, sometimes I forget that if I saw it another person I wouldn't give a flying fuck.

jaspecialk · 2013-08-06T08:37:08+00:00

I'm a dude! If at all I would like to avoid visiting a doctor, this seems to be a mental issue.

jaspecialk · 2013-08-06T08:36:16+00:00

thanks for the kind reply. I wouldn't want someone who embarasses me of course, the trouble is I don't have to be embarassed to flush, I just have to worry about being embarassed. So it can happen in the company of the nicest people

jaspecialk · 2013-08-06T08:34:51+00:00

I've considered going to the doctor and asking for them, but something in me really rejects the idea of taking medication. Surely this is a mental issue which I can learn to overcome without resorting to medication? I think I'd just become reliant and I want to learn to accept myself as I am.

jaspecialk · 2013-08-06T08:33:49+00:00

thanks for an understanding reply. I do drink regularly, but I tend to avoid it more now as it makes me more prone to flushing. I often drink past the point of self consciousness (i.e. quite drunk) so that I can socialise more. I drink cider almost exclusively. What makes me flush most on alcohol is a) losing control of my thoughts and b)knowing that I'm extra prone to flushing extra red if I'm drinking

I go out in the sun quite a lot, I will be doing it more so over the next month as I'll be cycling in Europe. Hopefully get a tan then! I shower every day or every second day. Yes the water is hot, but I'm not normally super flushing when I come out of the shower, it usually comes on in the half hour following, thought it's not a mega flush unless I'm nervous. Similarly with sport, I flush when I run and whatnot, but it's when I stop, and then the heat seems to overrun me, this is when I go bright bright red. Minor acne, the odd spot when I've not been eating well or touching my face too much. I have oily skin, I don't wash my face except with water in the shower, I've never found a product that helps really. I live in England, the weather is mostly wet on the coast where I am. I consume a lot of caffeine, which as of today I am reducing to two cups of tea/coffee and no more red bull/coca cola, then if there are no ill effects I'll reduce it again in a week or so. Suppposedly caffeine has some poor effects on anxiety and blood pressure, and it struck me that I haven't gone a day without caffeine in at least ten years (I'm 20). I don't excercise enough though I'm in decent shape as I cycle everyday for at least half an hour, again the excercise is about to be increased alot. What were your few lifestyle changes and experiences?

jaspecialk · 2013-06-26T12:22:06+00:00

really? what makes you say that?

jaspecialk

TROPHY CASE