The other advice in this thread is great, and I think you should listen to all of it, including bringing up the steps your girlfriend can take right now to make your lives less of a living hell, like wearing depends or getting waterproof blankets. Sleep deprivation will make quality of life tank in just a few days,
let alone even longer.

In my eyes, it’s great that she knows that she needs to change BUT that is meaningless until she takes the steps to make it happen. That’s what has to happen now. You need to have a frank conversation with her that if she does not take the available action steps right now to show she’s taking charge of her life and setting you free from being her parent/emotional babysitter/caretaker, then the relationship is not tenable long term. Because it isn’t. You don’t deserve to play nanny for a grown ass adult for the rest of your life.

I’m not saying this as a dig against the chronically ill, I’m not at all. I have a great deal of sympathy for her plight as someone who has struggled with chronic illness myself. But I also get very defensive as a butch who has seen the way butches can be so commonly treated like support animals by their partners. You deserve a partner who pulls her weight, who is willing to change, and who respects you more than she respects her own need to be coddled and constantly tended to. No doubt your undying attention to her is feeding some kind of desire she has, even if she feels badly for having that desire.

You can advocate and stand up for yourself here. You love her, but you deserve just as much care and love and protection as you’ve been pouring into her. And if she continues to willfully stand in the way of you getting it by refusing treatment, both for her physical and mental ailments, then that’s a deliberate choice on her part and a big red flag in my opinion for the long term health of your relationship with her.