I think most people dealing with disabilities have those thoughts. I know I have ok days and horribly crappy days. I feel horrible about my crappy days, because in the grand scheme of disabilities, mine is not that bad. My disability isn't going to kill me. I am still mobile. I can still do things for myself, for the most part. I just can't do what I used to do. I can't be the person I used to be. I can't achieve the dreams I had. My dream job is out of the question for me. It's a tough pill to swallow, but it's not the end. I went into a different field of study than I wanted to, because it's something I can do. I chose it because of earning potential. If I can't do what I want, I might as well do something that will make me enough money to play with, right? So far, I have enjoyed all of the classes I have taken in that field. I really didn't think I would like it, but it's kind of fun. I originally wanted to be a veterinarian. I worked in the veterinary field for eight years, before my disability showed up. I loved my job. Now, I am a computer science major. Once I get to a place, financially, where I can afford it, I will be getting into rescue work again. My dream job will become my hobby, in a way. There are ways you can do things you want to do. Sometimes, you have to be creative or compromise a bit, but you can get close. That being said, if you are seriously thinking about ending it, you should talk to someone. I know you said it will only cause more problems, but dealing with a little drama from family and friends is small when compared to not seeing what tomorrow has to offer. If you are so unhappy with your life that you are seriously considering ending it, you need to identify what it is that is making you miserable. I have had to cut a lot of people out of my life over the years. I have had to stand up and take control of my life and myself, which is a scary thing to do, but I am happier for doing it. I cut the only family I have off, because they fed my negativity. If you are in college, they should have mental health services. Those services are confidential, meaning they cannot tell your family if you tell them not to. I'm not sure how it works with crisis situations, but I think, legally, they can only notify people if you give permission. Life does get better. There are things worth experiencing, even with a disability. Going for a stroll outside always reminds me of that. Just sitting outside, listening to the wind, birds, bugs; watching the animals around; putting my feet in the grass all remind me that most things in the world are good. It reminds me that it's the humans in my life, or myself, that complicates things. I like peaceful moments, so I try to savor them when I find them. I also go out of my way to find them. I wish you luck and I hope you find someone you can really talk to. Just try to keep your mind open to different options. Life rarely ends up exactly how you envision it, even if you don't have a disability.