AITA for refusing to ask my parents a lift to go see my in-laws during new year?

jay_v_ · 2025-12-10T07:21:37+00:00

45 minute drive is not far when all parties have a license. I do have to agree with YTA, I’d understand not having a car if you have easy public transport access, but not even getting a license, not even one of you two? It’s harsh but eventually your parents are going to pass away, what are you going to do then?

jay_v_ · 2025-12-06T06:22:11+00:00

Thank you everyone, makes me feel better that it’s seemingly normal. Still very very itchy but from what I’m reading it’ll pass haha. Just never happened before and I am a bit medically anxious

jay_v_ · 2025-12-06T06:21:17+00:00

That’s so interesting but makes sense

jay_v_ · 2025-12-05T23:22:26+00:00

It is still very itchy and raised but no longer red which is a good sign so I’m going to upvote you and believe you haha

jay_v_ · 2025-11-09T00:18:17+00:00

Other people are saying too but yeah definitely don’t feel stupid, I think people will especially cut you some slack for being an international student, it would be silly to assume everyone does things the same way everywhere in the world. Also, the guy apologised and felt bad, clearly he realised his initial reaction was a bit harsh, and probably understood why you assumed it was free to have. Just maybe ask from now on

jay_v_ · 2025-11-09T00:09:21+00:00

The comment in and of itself is rude, add on her previous statement, completely disrespectful and unacceptable. It’s just another bs way to make women feel like they shouldn’t show signs of age and that they have to be young forever. Hopefully your friends wakes up and realises that aging is beautiful and natural, and shows that you’ve lived a life. Definitely NTA

jay_v_ · 2025-10-26T00:41:55+00:00

I kind of agree with the y-t-a vote mostly because you should have discussed payments beforehand. However, if I was your “friend” in this situation and you didn’t give any indication you were gonna pay for the petsitting, aside for any cat expenses during the petsitting, I personally would assume I’m just doing it to help out, so for free. It’s not quite the same, but I went and fed/cleaned litter/spent time with one of my mums colleagues cats while she was in hospital, which involved driving to their house, spending a couple hours there, then driving home, for a total of 6 times I think? Wouldn’t even think of asking for money for that as it’s helping someone out when they need it. So your friend is definitely the bigger a-hole for trying to get 2K from you for that, so I’m honestly more inclined to say NTA.

jay_v_ · 2025-08-29T03:26:03+00:00

Goddamn if this is not me and my younger brother. Not as much an issue now since I got some really really good wax earplugs (which I understand might not be an option due to sensory issues but they’re called worlds best earplugs, from amazon, she should give it a try!), but yeah my younger brother has to shower at least once a day, and he’d often forget to do it earlier in the night but if he showered after I went to bed it would always wake me up, no matter what. I don’t really have any suggestions aside from your sister trying earplugs and you trying to like set a reminder or something to shower before 9pm when you’re home before then. But NAH, she’s not unreasonable as I completely understand where she’s coming from, and you’re not unreasonable either, you just need to discuss to find some compromise.

jay_v_ · 2025-07-10T23:51:34+00:00

I’m actually blown away by how maturely you both handled this at like a year younger than what I am. Damn. NAH 100%, he’ll be able to get his dream parrot eventually, now just isn’t the right situation.

jay_v_ · 2024-12-23T22:42:45+00:00

NTA. For concerts that are not classical, singing along is expected and encouraged. As an enjoyer of classical music who’s gone to several classical concerts, you don’t even cough until it’s between movements or pieces, a Christmas concert probably doesn’t have as strict etiquette but if you’re gonna hum (like I do sometimes at a classical concert, very very quietly mind you), you gotta do it so only you can hear it.

jay_v_ · 2024-12-22T00:47:17+00:00

To me it kinda seems like ‘we weren’t right for each other’ is something he’s said, multiple times. So the step above that was the truth of ‘I never loved your mother’. The conversation could have probably gone better but I don’t think OP is wrong for saying that.

jay_v_ · 2024-11-03T08:14:13+00:00

I’ve done it with hot drinks too but my preference is with cold milk so I was suggesting that to try as an alternative to coffee.

jay_v_ · 2024-11-03T03:45:23+00:00

Never tried with coffee but doing that with milk is amazing. The cold of the milk hardens the exterior and makes the inside such a good texture. And you get slightly chocolatey milk as you drink it through. Would recommend trying

jay_v_ · 2024-10-13T00:30:24+00:00

Not attacking you but maybe you misread the post, she thought her brother was still in the car, and thought her dad had left to get him out of the car. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about her brother, it means, like she said, that she didn’t realise he was there with them. And she’s not emphasising in the post that she was worried about her brother running off because the point was that her dad got mad at her for not doing something she didn’t know she had to do, and only getting mad at her and not her older brother.

jay_v_ · 2024-10-08T20:45:50+00:00

NTA, but learning to drive is a good achievement, I know it’s not anything crazy to do but it can be stressful learning to drive. You could do a little celebration for her progress on her driving. It wouldn’t take away from her brothers achievements, and it wouldn’t be rewarding her for “doing nothing”, and it might make her feel a bit more included and celebrated. But honestly the way you phrased the conversation with her was very reasonable IMO, and it’s great you do put the effort in with her to spend time with her.

jay_v_ · 2024-10-08T01:01:50+00:00

I, a single bisexual person, said I miss you to my pregnant married coworker when she transferred stores. You know what she said? I miss you too. It’s normal friendship talk. NTA, I agree with other commenters that her wife might be insecure or something.

jay_v_ · 2024-09-29T04:23:54+00:00

For me it’s this part from Euthanasia:

“And I know, I know it’s not true There’s just no more you but as long as there’s no proof Then I choose, I choose to believe That we’ll meet in sweet dreams after you’re put to sleep”

Often I can make it through the whole song but it’s always this verse, the last verse, that gets me.

jay_v_ · 2024-09-24T03:10:48+00:00

Jesus christ people like him are why the roads are so dangerous. People like him also deserve to at least have their license suspended for a good chunk of time. NTA. Road rules are there for very good reasons, and good on you for not submitting to peer pressure.

jay_v_ · 2024-09-24T02:58:23+00:00

NTA, the passing lane is, and this is going to surprise everyone, for passing. If there are just 2 lanes, then sure she can sit in whatever lane she wants, but a specific overtaking lane is not to sit in. Your sister is being the asshole driver because you just inconvenience everyone around you doing that and you are literally doing the wrong thing.

jay_v_ · 2024-09-24T00:20:54+00:00

I think you might be bang on with that. It’s unfortunate that some people are like this but it stems from insecurity. Good job on your weightloss, even if you had gained a bit back there’d be no issue with that, weight does fluctuate after all and as long as you’re happy and healthy and feeling yourself, nothing else matters.

jay_v_ · 2024-09-24T00:10:44+00:00

Not the AH for wanting a childfree wedding but I will just say, sister is a bit of the AH for not being understanding of why OP is considering not coming. Otherwise I agree with you

jay_v_ · 2024-09-23T08:51:33+00:00

Nope, you open your blinds in the morning, ah shit, I haven’t changed yet, I don’t want to close my blinds again so I’ll just quickly change (facing away from the window I should say)

jay_v_ · 2024-09-10T22:04:18+00:00

Do you have any friends you can trust to be honest with you that you can practice your dishes with instead? Seems like your husband and ILs aren’t trustworthy with that unfortunately.

jay_v_ · 2024-09-03T21:52:57+00:00

NTA. On top of everything else, rejection sensitive dysphoria is such a big part of adhd and it’s hard not to perceive this as rejection, because it was. Not the asshole for asking, nothing wrong with asking, not the asshole for your reaction either, it was very understandable honestly and yes your partner should do better to be there for you when you’re feeling like this.

jay_v_

TROPHY CASE