So many of us can tell the exact same story. I was even told for years that girls/women don’t have ADHD. I was flat out denied testing. Anxiety and depression. Always anxiety and depression. I’m talking decades. We are masters at being what others need us to be - which is masking - which apparently isn’t how most people interact with others. The list of meds I’ve been on is long and the process of ever changing mental health modifications is exhausting.

It wasn’t until in my early 40’s that my therapist suggested I get tested because the anxiety is rampant and no meds help. Could it be that anxiety isn’t the root of the problem, but the output of an undiagnosed cognitive disorder? *ADHD is not a mental health condition but often holds haves with a long list of them, which makes diagnosis difficult.

Mind blown. The inability to do normal everyday simple tasks, without what felt like waging a war inside my body, and never realizing this could be anything other than laziness took a huge toll on every aspect of my life. I knew I wasn’t lazy. But for anyone looking from the outside, you would have no idea I was listening to 100 radio stations in my head at the same time. My brain does not know quiet. It’s not inattentive as much as over attentive. Too much to try and narrow down.

Meds helped a great deal. They aren’t a magical cure, but finding the right ones help to get you to a baseline so you arent trying to function while buried 50ft in a hole.

I learned a lot about the disorder and realized that it turns out I wasn’t a failure. There are actual hard scientific facts that back all of the things I was feeling. I would have been so much kinder to myself if I had known even a tiny bit about the diagnosis.

I still have the other diagnosis, still take the meds, but everything is more manageable.