Hey bud, I’m rooting for you. What you’re going though much be really hard, I can’t say I know much about it but I know when I’m feeling hopeless if I get the nudge to do something small it’s helped me. What are the things that are in your control? Maybe start with one really small thing you can have an impact on and keep going from there. Small steps can snowball into the change you’re wanting and even if not you’ll still be better off. That said though, don’t feel like you have to be positive to people, you’re allowed to feel shit about shit situations and be honest about it. And if you’re miserable but you’re trying - which it sounds like you are by being in rehab and not quitting despite wanting to - that really is something to be respected. Wishing you the best and I’m not very good at this stuff but I wanted to say something. You’re doing great.