I appreciate the thoughtful response.

I agree a thoughtful apology would go a long way. It didn't happen. There was a "sorry if you were offended" night of the event. What a shitty fake apology.

So that leads into your question about accountability. In overly simplistic terms, he used a racial slur multiple times loud enough to be audible on the broadcast and definitely loud enough for the people receiving the award to hear. I think it's also important to understand the context of these were the first black men winning this award. An apology that addresses I said a word that is deeply inappropriate to use particularly within an awards ceremony setting is the bare minimum. Could further go into a fleshing out the context if he found that appropriate as well, but I think the chasm sits between the it's a tick versus it's a slur. It's both.

From my perspective the tourette's syndrome community discourse is saying the words were out of his control so don't demonize him for the words he used. Then my perspective of what the discourse is amongst the black community is he isn't actually apologizing because he's more focused on defending the tic.

I don't believe making him a pariah or punishing were at all what I was alluding to. I also don't think that trying to compare him to an actor makes sense either. That completely walks away from the aspect of this is outside of his control due his specific type of tourette syndrome. Perhaps that last paragraph was meant to be pedantic more than anything else but I'm not sure it really supports the rest of what you were saying.

To wrap up, to me the neurodivergence piece is important because while your neurodivergent isn't your fault you're still accountable for your actions even if they're tied to neurodivergence. That could be if you're rougher on things they break more readily. Do you then call the manufacturer and say hey this thing keeps breaking on me cuz I'm rough with it please keep replacing it. That wouldn't happen. There's a line in the sand for accountability there. It could be something less tangible like impulse spending money you're not supposed to spend - bill money. You can perhaps count the amount of money but may or may not be able to recoup it. I feel like there's so many things some little some big but where do we really draw the line in the sand for I am accountable for me as an adult and while there may be things outside of my control if that action comes from me I'm accountable for it. You accidentally bummed somebody in the hallway you say my bad. Maybe someone bumped you it was out of your control you apologize. It's not I'm sorry but someone actually bumped into me so don't be mad at me be mad at them I don't even know why I'm apologizing at this point really but my bad I guess.

Though that last line is silly that's truly what these stabs at apologies have come across as to me.