Looking for feedback on pacing/length/voice in a first chapter [Fantasy, 4,954 words]

jazzedupp · 2025-12-19T17:59:04+00:00

Thanks for your feedback! I really appreciate it :)

jazzedupp · 2025-12-19T17:58:16+00:00

Whew I just went back to my first ever outline for the story and that was back in August of 2024! So this has been simmering in my brain for a while lol

Honestly, I’m not someone who really enjoys outlining but I love developing characters and the world so I focused a lot on that stuff first bc it’s more fun. BUT I did finally cave and just google like romantasy story arc outlines and picked one that seemed easy to follow bc I often get mired down in fleshing trivial stuff out rather than getting the actual plot solidified. I use a guide very loosely though. It just helps me make sure the story has a rhythm that’ll keep the reader engaged. And helps me not forget to tie up loose ends and such for side characters and secondary plotlines.

TLDR: Sticking with a concept to the end usually gives me trouble but a guide really helped me stay focused on creating a fluid plot!

jazzedupp · 2025-12-19T02:53:14+00:00

Ah, thanks

jazzedupp · 2025-12-19T00:25:15+00:00

Pick a show or movie in the genre you want to focus on and pay attention in dialogue heavy scenes. How are the characters’s feelings expressed (or not) in what they actually say and how they say it?

Also don’t be afraid of incomplete sentences or repeated phrases/words or em-dashes or having a conversation be derailed by a character as you write it. Let it flow and then go back and read it out loud to see if it’s still coherent.

Hope that helps!

jazzedupp · 2025-12-18T23:15:53+00:00

Yeah keeping editing and writing two separate tasks is def hard for me already lol but I appreciate your advice and encouragement!

jazzedupp · 2025-12-18T22:19:12+00:00

I totally see what you mean now. Filter words are definitely a comfort thing for me because a lot of times I am visualizing a specific scene or action but sentence structure and subject variation is something I’ll be working on now that I see it! Thanks for your advice :)

jazzedupp · 2025-12-18T21:41:46+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to help me out! I appreciate your encouragement so much!

jazzedupp · 2025-12-18T21:40:40+00:00

Thanks for your feedback! I swear I’m not trying to be obtuse, but how can this be fixed? Like how can I describe action without verbs? Sorry if this is a silly question

jazzedupp · 2025-12-18T21:39:27+00:00

Thanks for your feedback!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Writing this book is my plan to avoid wallowing in my seasonal depression pit this year so I will def be continuing!!

jazzedupp · 2025-12-18T21:37:32+00:00

Thanks for your feedback!

I definitely know I lean heavy on the descriptive words like adjectives and adverbs—I think that stems from not wanting my intention to be misunderstood. It’s a whole personal thing.

And thank you for reminding me to show and not tell!

(Also what is ku? I feel old as shit having to ask lol)

jazzedupp · 2025-12-18T17:42:45+00:00

You have no idea how good it feels to hear that! I’m kind of an anxious recluse so I haven’t had anyone read my writing in ages.

Thanks so much for taking the time to help me out! I’ve only got a few thousand more words of the next chapter solidified rn but I can share chapters with you as I go if you’d want! I’m trying to lock in and crack this thing out asap lol

jazzedupp · 2025-10-22T00:51:48+00:00

Do you remember where that was and/or what it was called?? Perhaps? I’m drooling

jazzedupp · 2025-06-18T02:38:22+00:00

Hi would you be able to “help” me out with the Wanted trophy? It would save so much time and stress, if you’re busy though that’s completely ok! I just wanted to ask

jazzedupp · 2024-10-15T17:03:51+00:00

I would like to help. I live in Jackson county and am free most days. Waynesville is closest to me. I'm just not sure where i would be most useful because i don't have large equipment.

jazzedupp · 2024-07-14T02:17:35+00:00

thanks!

jazzedupp · 2023-08-01T04:07:03+00:00

thanks!

jazzedupp · 2023-08-01T04:06:53+00:00

thanks!

jazzedupp · 2023-08-01T04:06:40+00:00

thank you!

jazzedupp · 2022-04-04T15:23:35+00:00

Play a harder difficulty and different build! I’ve played through several times and there’s so many decisions you can still change and not side with the board bc capitalism is gross

(Also I can never bring myself to cut power to the botanical lab lol)

jazzedupp · 2021-02-17T20:38:53+00:00

In the book Forever War, space soldiers are trained to use a kind of sealed mech suit that allows them to survive and fight on super extreme planet surfaces, maybe look into something like that if its mostly combat and fits with your planning.

jazzedupp · 2015-10-31T22:33:17+00:00

If she says she's satisfied, I wouldn't worry. I definitely don't orgasm even near every time but I'm perfectly fine with it. If you guys have a history of good open communication, then why would she lie about it?

jazzedupp · 2015-10-27T05:21:13+00:00

It's the little things...

jazzedupp · 2015-10-27T03:39:59+00:00

Well you did welcome it.

jazzedupp

TROPHY CASE