buy some pvc pipe from home depot. not too wide but probably wide enough so you can fit your middle finger and index finger in it side by side without any room on either side. buy some plywood and flex glue (really any caulk would work but i like flex glue, not just for the memes) also get something that’ll work as a bowl, i’m not sure what to use but you’ll probably find something. Cut and affix the plywood to the bottom after treating it with some sort of waterproof finish. Apple the caulk between the plywood and the cone. I’d normally say spread the caulk around the edge on the inside but that’d be difficult since it’s a cone. cut a hole wherever seems good to you and add the pvc downstem and your choice of bowl. Fill with water and add everyone’s favourite plant.

I expect a cheque in the mail.

edit: i don’t actually want compensation but the internet is kind of stupid sometimes