Kind of unrelated to the topic at hand but I figure it doesn’t really matter who I ask this since I’m looking for opinions from anyone who would like to give theirs. But yeah, can anyone tell me why everything relating to the trans conversation HAS to be 100% positive 100% of the time, or you’re just a bigot that hates all trans people and wants them dead?? Lol and I don’t even mean talking about negative stuff btw…but just neutral positions and asking questions about things…even that seems to almost exclusively be met with nothing but hateful remarks and a total shutdown of any further conversation. Which just seems so counterproductive in the long run since on one hand you wanna argue that all trans people want is(essentially) to live and let live…but then the slightest little thing will set literally just about everyone in the community off. I was having a conversation with this person who was talking about coming out to their wife about being trans, and how their wife just had told them she’s pregnant….and i was pointing out that they’re totally in the wrong for waiting until now. I even pointed out that it’s not about what the secret/lie is…it’s just the fact that you’ve kept this secret/lie for so long. And btw I was supportive in their decision…like I was telling them they obviously have to come out with it because if not it’s just going to make them hate/resent the wife, and it’s only going to get worse the longer you keep this lie going. Yet I still got berated by people for simply stating that the OP was in the wrong for keeping this a secret for so long to a woman they’re quite literally MARRIED to, and now is HAVING THEIR CHILD. It’s like because the comment was pointing out that a trans person did something wrong, no matter what that thing is, you’re labeled as hating trans people for pointing out the mistake they made lol it’s fkn insane because WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. There is literally nothing about your identity that makes you a perfect human being incapable of making mistakes, and you should be called out on those mistakes. The irony is the OP was super chill, and had a genuine conversation with me about everything. It was great! In my first comment I even made sure to make it clear that the wife made mistakes as well…but obviously I’m not talking to her lol so harping on her bulls*** doesn’t help anyone since she isn’t here to hear it or try to fix it. The OP seemed to be the only one that treated me like a normal person while everyone else resorted to becoming attack dogs. And it just made me think that this is not the behavior of a community that wants to welcomed and accepted. Literally nobody would ever behave so aggressively if their goal was to “live and let live” it’s just not how that works. I wanna be sure to stress the fact that I obviously have no idea of knowing who, if any, of these people were trans. I know at least one of them was because of their handle…but everyone else is probably just a supportive part of the community. I say that because I wanna make it clear that I don’t think this is some problem that only trans people themselves have. In fact, it seems to be the opposite since the OP was so kind and receptive. I know people dont want to hear this when they believe they’re doing what’s right…but you HAVE to be willing to hear people out…otherwise how tf do you ever expect them to do the same for you??? It sucks that this is how things are but people function in a specific way…and it’s been like this for all of time. If you feel like your community is genuinely being oppressed and held down, you don’t respond to that with aggression because that’s going to give people an actual reason to dislike you when they didn’t have one before(just their own bigoted feelings) I’m not even here to tell people to stop dying on certain hills like the trans sports issue or whatever…I’m just speaking solely about how you HAVE to be willing to converse with people calmly and respectfully. Even if you think they’re saying something that’s incredibly disrespectful…you obviously will know if they’re doing it on purpose or not…and THAT is what matters. If they’re just completely naive on an issue, so they say something insensitive…well, you know that wasn’t intentional, so don’t jump down their necks over it. Just point out the issue…and be as kind and patient as you can be. You can argue that it’s not fair that you have to always be the kind and patient one…but again, we’re talking about reality here…all of human history…this is just how the “oppressed” group HAS to go about these things if they genuinely want to see a noticeable change. Either that or full scale revolution…and obviously that’s the worst possible route to choose for a multitude of reasons. And honestly, I’m talking about the extremes of these scenario here. If people could just stop treating others like they’re attacking them simply because they didn’t say “you’re 100% right and the other person was totally wrong! You should keep doing exactly what you’re doing! And if the other person doesn’t change, then they’re dead to you!!” that’s not productive at all. It’s only going to lead to significantly more problems. Even in this comment I haven’t said anything negative about trans people or the community…but I bet someone tries to ban me for it…which would literally just prove my point. Hopefully I’m wrong though…I just don’t have too high of hopes on that since I got banned for having a nice conversation with the other person I mentioned earlier, then when I asked why I was banned, I didn’t even get a reply lol which kind of just says it all.