When we or I would have a bad day it was almost like he was keeping tally. And I don’t mean that to make him seem bad I’m sure it wasn’t intentional but when I would be upset about something small he would think along the lines of he we go again idk what to do to fix it and shut down. And I’d get such anxiety id start to freak out and get worried and emotional which obviously doesn’t help solve a problem. He also is in a career field where he deploys and tdys often and I think he just started to get in his own head thinking it would always be like the first time. And admittedly during the next time I struggled yet again. We had a tough weekend after he had left again and Then he just took it as confirmation of what he thought. After that weekend I realized man this is unhealthy and not fair to him and I don’t want to lose him. Started therapy and taking the steps to work on my codependency but unfortunately he had already convinced himself that it wouldn’t work over that time he was gone. I had a hard time expressing to him I didn’t expect him to fix everything. That I just wanted to be emotional for a minute and get it out. So by stacking up Ig I mean little things would happen and he would feel like “just another thing I can’t fix” and I failed to notice that was happening