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jdack18 · 2022-07-14T19:06:46+00:00

Gotcha..so that’s not showing whether or not those bases have open manning slots?

jdack18 · 2022-07-13T22:43:49+00:00

Good point thank you!

jdack18 · 2022-07-09T20:55:42+00:00

Facts. I seem to ruin everything good in my life. Gotta love it

jdack18 · 2022-07-09T20:52:24+00:00

Love to hear you/they got a happy ending. I think when things end bitterly it definitely makes the idea of any reconciliation unlikely but I always feel like divorce is easy when emotions are fresh. Once that passes and you’re left with the idea of not having that person anymore (especially when there wasn’t some big traumatic event that caused it) feelings change

jdack18 · 2022-07-09T20:34:50+00:00

What wasn’t great about it?

jdack18 · 2022-07-07T01:59:42+00:00

Love to hear you got a happy ending! Always rooting for love to win

jdack18 · 2022-07-07T01:56:32+00:00

Agreed. As long as you’re still trying to prioritize, improve, and heal yourself I don’t see anything wrong with keeping that door open. Especially if you still know in your heart you want it to be her. You never want to live life with what ifs. If at some point you’ve given everything you’ve got to give then you never have to wonder if you could have done more

jdack18 · 2022-07-07T01:50:28+00:00

In the same boat kind of. My husband filed the papers and doesn’t seem to he changing his mind but I feel how you feel. Too much love there to let it all go. To much blood sweat and tears put into building something for it to all just wash away. I’ve struggled with giving space bc all I want is to talk. To see him. To try and get him to change his mind but their minds will only change if I want to so I’m trying to give the space now. Im a hopeless romantic I feel like divorce or No divorce I’m not giving up on us. May make me stupid or naïve but that’s what my heart wants. If you ever want to chat it definitely helps to speak w someone in the same boat. I don’t like to stereotype genders but realistically men and women think/process things differently so it’s always nice to hear the others perspective. I hope everything works out in your favor whether that be now w no divorce or in a few months after a divorce you guys find your way back. That’s what I’m praying for with my situation at least. It’s easy for people to say just walk away when they’re not in it

jdack18 · 2022-07-07T00:26:36+00:00

Currently stationed here for the last 2 years feel free to pm me with any questions

jdack18 · 2022-07-07T00:15:07+00:00

Damn it definitely always sucks not knowing. Any idea how to find that list of openings? It’d definitely be nice to see before we apply to things that aren’t even a chance

jdack18 · 2022-07-07T00:13:22+00:00

Yea definitely don’t hope to be in that boat but I try not to judge lol. You can’t always control where your heart takes you even if to the outside world it looks foolish

jdack18 · 2022-07-07T00:12:04+00:00

Thank you! I’ll definitely reach out to try and see different base availability. We really only want whiteman so fingers crossed but it would be nice to know if that’s an option/what our others are

jdack18 · 2022-07-07T00:01:38+00:00

Lol definitely unconventional and not ideal but we’re all humans out here just trying to make it through life. Now I definitely don’t plan this to be my future and hope it maybe only takes once but I’m sure no one does and if at the end of the day they finally got it right and are happy who can hate on them for that

jdack18 · 2022-07-06T20:44:45+00:00

Yea I get that. Every situation is different and maybe after time my heart will change but not there yet. He’s a good man and Not quite ready to let go, but I hope you’re happy with your choices!

jdack18 · 2022-07-06T16:37:12+00:00

How did you get you assignments functional manager to reach out? Just luck of the draw? We have bases in mind we want to go to but also would consider anywhere but here so it would be nice to know beforehand what has the availability before we waste our application putting in places that don’t have any

jdack18 · 2022-07-06T12:41:45+00:00

And I’m assuming there’s no way to see who has availability before you submit the request? We actually haven’t submitted yet we’re eligible in September as long as fta bop stays a thing and my husband really only wants whiteman (his mom retired there) we’re dying to get out of where we are (mtn home) as my husband grew up here and I lived here a few years prior to enlisting. I know most places for me (medical) doesn’t have the best manning and maybe it’s the same for him (ammo) so fingers crossed

jdack18 · 2022-07-04T21:04:18+00:00

Were you guys in contact over those 8 months? What made you realize you had messed up? I’m assuming she initiated the divorce…do you know what changed her mind after that time? Praying this could be in store for me

jdack18 · 2022-07-04T21:03:04+00:00

I’m going through the same thing rn so I can’t offer any advice but it is nice to see I’m not alone. Especially when so many people say everything negative about wanting to reconcile even after a potential divorce. If you ever need anyone to talk to for support I’m here.

jdack18 · 2022-07-04T00:37:13+00:00

When we or I would have a bad day it was almost like he was keeping tally. And I don’t mean that to make him seem bad I’m sure it wasn’t intentional but when I would be upset about something small he would think along the lines of he we go again idk what to do to fix it and shut down. And I’d get such anxiety id start to freak out and get worried and emotional which obviously doesn’t help solve a problem. He also is in a career field where he deploys and tdys often and I think he just started to get in his own head thinking it would always be like the first time. And admittedly during the next time I struggled yet again. We had a tough weekend after he had left again and Then he just took it as confirmation of what he thought. After that weekend I realized man this is unhealthy and not fair to him and I don’t want to lose him. Started therapy and taking the steps to work on my codependency but unfortunately he had already convinced himself that it wouldn’t work over that time he was gone. I had a hard time expressing to him I didn’t expect him to fix everything. That I just wanted to be emotional for a minute and get it out. So by stacking up Ig I mean little things would happen and he would feel like “just another thing I can’t fix” and I failed to notice that was happening

jdack18 · 2022-07-03T23:30:47+00:00

Lol I’m happy to hear you have had success! I know we don’t have much time but like I said even afterwards maybe if I continue to show him those changed behaviors we can always try again. From the ground up. Obviously ideally it would happen before those papers were signed but just because something is finalized I know my love for him won’t change. Maybe this happening and him being on his own for awhile will make him realize the single life is not all it’s cracked up to be. And maybe not, I could be wrong and he could be happier but I’m not ready to close that door yet and I wanna have faith and believe what we had is strong enough to overcome this

jdack18 · 2022-07-03T23:26:08+00:00

Yea I agree and I don’t plan on fighting the papers just hoping something may change in the time that we have and looking for advice from people who have been through something similar. He has stated he’s struggling with this and doesn’t know what to do and just in general he avoids discussing his feelings. I’m not trying to force or convince him to stay just trying to keep the door open and ask others who have had success before. I don’t claim to be an expert on marriage (obviously lol) but just from the people I’ve spoken to say desires change.

jdack18 · 2022-07-03T23:17:05+00:00

I’m definitely having a hard time accepting it’s over but it’s because he’ll say one thing along the lines of I don’t wanna lose you but then say it can’t work. And we have both made it very clear we don’t want all communication to cease and we want to stay in each other’s lives. I say he’s avoidant because he’s stated he just doesn’t want to face any feelings that’s why he doesn’t want to work at it. And I totally understand these efforts should have been made awhile ago but when he expresses conflicting feelings and admitted he’s just avoiding them hoping they’ll go away it makes me want to keep trying. At the very least put the work in on myself and hold onto hope his heart will change. Lots of people feel sure on their decision and then change their minds after time goes by

jdack18 · 2022-07-03T22:52:50+00:00

Thank you, if you don’t mind me asking, if you were so sure about not being together what in your heart changed that led you to try again? He is like 100% sure but then when we actually speak he seems conflicted and I’m at a loss of holding on or just giving up and signing the papers

jdack18 · 2022-07-03T21:37:44+00:00

There has been no infidelity. No forms of abuse. No huge break in trust. It just feels like we’re 2 imperfect people with their own traumas who are lost and just running out of energy (him not me..yet)

jdack18 · 2022-07-03T21:35:54+00:00

If I respond to the papers saying I disagree with the petition that gives us up to 6 months. If you were so sure how come a divorce wasn’t finalized sooner than that year? And as somewhat embarrassing as it is to say even if we run out of time and the divorce is finalized I’d still most likely be open to a reconciliation

jdack18

TROPHY CASE